


Palimpsest

by capulette



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Divergence - Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Character Development, Character Study, Creation Myth, Crest-Related Trauma (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Crests (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Divination, Ethics, Existentialism, F/M, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Insurrection of the Seven (Fire Emblem), Jealousy, Memories, Mental Instability, Mentioned Those Who Slither In The Dark (Fire Emblem), Metamorphosis, Moral Ambiguity, My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, Mysticism, Nabatea (Fire Emblem), Non-Linear Narrative, Other, Possessive Behavior, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Regret, Romance, Stream of Consciousness, Suicidal Thoughts, Teacher-Student Relationship, Worldbuilding, children of the goddess, historical revisionism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:01:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 54,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25627099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capulette/pseuds/capulette
Summary: Cast adrift during their metamorphosis in Zahras, Byleth and Sothis exist somewhere between immanence and transcendence. The Adrestian Empire relentlessly seeks the world's rebirth for the second time in history. In Enbarr, Edelgard awaits their fated confrontation, but Dimitri's fixation and endless yearning for Byleth consumes his reality.Canon divergent Azure Moon with original material. Spoilers for all routes and DLC.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Sothis, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s), My Unit | Byleth & Sothis
Comments: 113
Kudos: 90





	1. The Spirit Dais

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Divine intervention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: reference to suicide attempt.

The heavens were dark gray on the day of his descent. The storm winds gave rise to great swirls and spirals of crystalline ice shards, which took the place of the veiled stars. The tremendous beauty purified him, expunging the darkness for a moment… so there was no fear, only the profound love and eternal longing that the memory of her face conjured in the end.

‘It seems fate wills you to remain among the living a while longer.’

Dimitri’s eye struggled to become accustomed to the gloom, but the nebulous glow eventually coalesced into a place he recognised instantly, as seen through the eyes of another. Sothis peered down at him from atop the spirit dais, sitting in a familiar throne… the one he saw on the day of the revelation… the throne of the Goddess.

‘I perceive that you recognise who I am. As for myself, I have long known you through the eyes of my dear friend. Nonetheless, it is pleasing to see you in person. My name is Sothis.’

Dimitri bowed respectfully. ‘Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. It is an honour to meet you, Goddess Sothis.’

A bright smile broke through her enigmatic expression. ‘Well! It is refreshing to meet a mortal with proper respect for his elders! But I must not let myself be distracted… It is fortunate that you are not questioning your reality or sanity, at least. I halted time to prevent your death. That it was possible reveals that it is not yet your time. There are things you must yet accomplish… and one who hopes you will remember her, until she may return to you.’

The intense surge of hope and euphoria that her words caused resuscitated his being, resurfacing to sharp lucidity as from a plunge into an icy lake. ‘My beloved—she is still alive!’

‘Yes… In spite of her habitual disregard for her own life.’

‘I beg of you, please tell me how I can go to her side! Why can she not return straight away? What happened to her? Where is she?’

Sothis sighed in the face of his barrage of urgent questions. ‘Unfortunately, you cannot reach the place where she rests. Byleth’s body was grievously damaged from the fall. It caused her body to enter the healing sleep, so she would not succumb to injuries that would have been mortal. She will wake up when her body is able to function once more.’

‘Healing sleep… Is that one of the powers you bestowed on her?’

‘Not a power, precisely. As I recall, it was simply an attribute of my corporeal form, and the bodies of my children.’ Sothis seemed to be pondering something deeply. ‘Indeed, our existence now is not what I imagined it to be. After all, I was certain I would disappear, and yet here I am! And so is Byleth. OH! You are still here! I had forgotten you cannot stay here! Ho hum, I became too used to her always being with me…’

‘Sothis, how will I know when she wakes up? How will I know where to find her?’ Dimitri pleaded, realising that he would soon be expelled from this place. Reality had already become a blissfully distant memory. The thought of being sent back filled him with panic and distress.

‘I suppose I could send you to speak to her…’ Sothis mused, twisting one of her ribbons around her finger.

Seeing his beautiful professor again was like gazing at a distant star… her light was bright and piercing in the darkness, but so unfathomably far away. In this surreal, faded domain, a place nearly devoid of colour, Dimitri could not even distinguish where sea separated from sky. Byleth’s slender figure moving along the water’s edge felt ethereal, but at the same time, the most real and vibrant thing that existed in both in this world and his own.

‘Professor! BYLETH!’

When she turned around to the sound of his voice, and saw him standing before her, the wonder and elation in her eyes plunged him into near-delirium… the vivid indigo eyes that continually lingered in his thoughts… like sinking into warm ocean pools that numbed his pain, and soothed what was broken inside him.

Shuddering sobs burst from his chest when his professor lovingly stroked his dirty hair from his forehead. She wept as she traced the skin around the burning, swollen darkness where his right eye used to be. ‘I am so sorry I was not there to protect you. Please forgive me for leaving you alone.’ Byleth held his face tenderly in her hands and kissed him until his wracking sobs quieted. Dimitri’s hands twisted into her charcoal-black hair. It had grown longer, nearly reaching to her waist. ‘How much time has passed since I was gone? I have lost count of the weeks, perhaps months? I promise I will come back for you, I won’t stop trying. I love you, Dimitri.’

_…weeks, perhaps months…_

What did Byleth mean? It had not been more than a week… a week and a half at most. Her lines were beginning to blur and turn gray nonono he couldn’t leave yet he refused to leave her!!!

‘I love you, Professor, I love you more than I can bear! It hurts so much without you! Please don’t send me back!!! Please let me stay with you, please—’

Her mouth moved soundlessly, telling him something… but he was torn away, sucked back through the void into the desolate frozen wasteland that drained her warmth from his body, ripped away the sensation of her lips… he did not hear what she said.


	2. Reunion at Dawn

She was here.

Dimitri raised his weary head, unable to suppress the keen sting of hope in his chest. The dawn had caught him unawares in the fleeting moment he allowed his eye to flutter shut. He strained against the harsh glare as the blurred edges of her familiar figure drew nearer. The vision solidified agonisingly slowly, beginning with the hand reached out towards him… Dimitri’s breath caught painfully in his throat. Behind the Professor, the form of his beloved materialised in the centre of the mosaic floor, and the dawn came ablaze around her.

Byleth’s smile was radiant… but it was not for him. Dimitri watched in helpless anguish as Glenn embraced her and took her hand. He never looked more like Felix than he did in that moment. He pulled her away impatiently, and Dimitri only caught her gaze for an imperceptible moment before his ghosts vanished and took her with them.


	3. The General

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second invasion of Garreg Mach.  
> Warning: Some minor graphic violence, PTSD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene between Dimitri and Randolph was a difficult one. But here is my interpretation of it.

When the battlefield caught fire around him, Dimitri’s vision became distorted— Glenn is dead, his neck half cleaved, the flames are catching and now the skin of his face blisters hideously, oozing muscle underneath, Dimitri screams but the voice is that of his thirteen-year-old self. I need to find Father... still hear fighting, there are so many bodies... boots sticking to the ground sticky... sticky with blood where is he nononono up ahead… Father!!!

Dimitri flashed back to Garreg Mach with a gasp. His spear moved in violent, uncontrolled arcs, and it appeared as if he cut through bodies he should not quite reach… Byleth was with him, the shadow-like Sword of the Creator whipping around them both.

Who did it?!! Byleth would have known, she would never have lit him on fire!!! She would never do this to him!!! She knew how it terrified him, how it drove him mad— He told her! She knew! His real professor would have known!!!

A thick-legged warrior ran out towards them. Dimitri watched in horror as a tomahawk flew towards Byleth, who was before him... defending him. ‘Professor, watch out!’ he croaked, his throat raw from the smoke. The Sword of the Creator blocked it and the axe careened off to the side. The warrior’s face briefly registered surprise, before Dimitri flung his spear into her face, then raced and retrieved it before her body touched the ground. She did not look surprised anymore, because now her face was a bloody hole. Infuriated, Dimitri kicked her head aside so hard that it ripped away from... them all to the eternal flames! But there is Byleth, his beloved’s blue eyes... full of fear, she is running towards him, why is she here??? She is not meant to be here! This is not her time?!?! How did she- the flames have caught in her hair, her hair is... blue flames... seeping into her eyes…

Linhardt’s healing magic suffused his body. Dimitri had not realised he was injured. A warlock materialised before him, but Felix was already there, deadly Wo Dao glinting viciously in the sun. 

‘Dimitri, I-’ Byleth’s strength flagged, her lines grew faint and she faded from his side.

Only the General remained… the one who commanded his men to ‘make sure they never speak again’. Dimitri shook a clump of viscera off his spear’s blade and smiled grimly.

‘I have family waiting for me… Please. I can’t die here…’

I am not the one who is delusional. It is all of these fools around me who are… ‘A beast like you, telling me about family? You are amusing,’ Dimitri grimaced. His head still reeled from the flames that the others struggled to douse even now. Fools, all of them.

‘Of course… you could not understand… such a thing as love… You are a heartless monster!’ The General spat, even as he bled out on the ground.

What do you know of my love? Why do you think I have no family? It is a waste of time speaking to someone like you. ‘You are a monster too, General. You just choose not to accept it. You still tell yourself that you are a man. As a general, have you not ordered countless souls to be killed, without a shred of mercy? Did the sound of their begging and pleas move you? And yet, you believe you deserve mercy?’ Dimitri barked out a harsh laugh. This really is a joke. ‘Even at the end of your life, you cling to the lie that your hands are not stained with blood.’

The General looked conflicted. ‘But this… this is war. I only did what I had to for the Empire… for our people, and my family!’

Dimitri looked at him, his heart growing colder the longer he listened to this man paint himself as a victim, convincing himself that he was not a perpetrator. ‘So you justify piling up corpses in the name of your people and your family. I am doing the same for the salvation of the dead… Whatever our reasons, the results are the same. We are both murderers. Both stained with blood. Both monsters. The difference is that you hold onto the lie that _you_ are not responsible.’

‘You’re wrong!!!’

A quick death was an honour the General did not deserve. ‘ _I_ am wrong? You really cannot smell the rotting flesh upon your own hands?’

‘Silence! Enough! That’s enough!’

Dimitri could only smile at the man’s continued arrogance. ‘No, I will not give you an easy death, General. You should watch your men die. Or do you want me to put your eyes out? So you can continue to remain blind to your responsibility…’

The Professor slit his throat and the General fell forward onto the ground, gurgling a woman’s name and an apology. Ha!

Dimitri raised his gaze, finally meeting the green eyes of the woman standing before him. ‘What is the meaning of this?’

‘I couldn’t bear to watch,’ she said quietly.

Dimitri stared at her, before bursting into disbelieving laughter.

The Professor shook her head in a show of disappointment. It had no effect on him. ‘I miss the Dimitri I once knew.’

He was suddenly filled with nothing but disdain for her. ‘The Dimitri you once knew is dead. If you ever knew me at all. I became a monster. I _am_ the blood-stained monster in front of you. If you cannot accept what I have become, then kill me. But if you cannot bear to kill me either, then stay out of my way. I have something I must accomplish at all costs. To that end, I will continue to use you. Until the flesh falls from your bones.’

He clutched his head as the glare of the unquenched fires seared in his periphery. He was coming apart with directionless fury. He should cut off the head of whichever cretin ordered the fires to be lit...

I miss her…


	4. Protected by a Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone unexpected reaches out.

His longing for her began from the first moment in Remire, when he saw her step out from behind her father… Dimitri’s throat constricted as she crossed the distance between them. Her eyes raised to meet his nonplussed gaze; cryptic, perceptive… asking a silent question that he seemed to fail to answer. Her eyes moved from him to Edelgard, and he felt a bitter pang of rejection.

Dimitri was thrown by his immediate and fervent realisation that he needed to have her somehow.

Sylvain’s voice in his head suggested telling her he was the Crown Prince of Faerghus, and bearer of the famous Crest of Blaiddyd. That would secure her interest in him without a doubt. Dimitri firmly associated Sylvain with his bad conscience, so he discarded that notion in a hurry.

In the end, he attempted to recruit her for the Kingdom. It was the only credible option among the other wildly illogical and unreasonable propositions that came to mind… like saying he believed they were fated to be together… or spontaneously asking her to marry him…

To his utter distress, Edelgard unexpectedly tried to recruit her too. And then, for once in his life, serendipity came to his aid in the form of jocular Alois Rangeld.

Byleth.

The unrivalled lieutenant of Jeralt Eisner, the Blade Breaker. A reputedly heartless, implacable and remorseless killer…

The Ashen Demon.

To Dimitri’s exultation, she chose the Blue Lions. She chose _him_. The more Byleth shed her enigma, and allowed him closer to her innermost self, the greater his yearning for her intimacy and love grew. Byleth consumed his mind to the exclusion of all other thoughts. He loved her. She was the most vivid existence in his life.

At Byleth’s side, Dimitri started to believe that his life would not end when his duty was fulfilled. He realised he was happy.

For the first time in his life, Dimitri experienced how it felt to reach out for help, and have someone who always took his hand.

* * *

Time was nebulous. Dimitri’s extreme dissociation kept him suspended somewhere between dreaming and waking. It was impossible to delineate his consciousness by the ticking of time’s hand. There were golden fragments of time when Byleth was with him. The rest was made up of the pain of her absence, and a cavernous darkness; inside existed a volatile hatred with nowhere else to go.

The physical world had no edges. Sometimes, it had an appearance like the unfurling of colours from a paintbrush in water, except that they would not mix together. The colours snaked around each other; discrete entities waiting for her hands to give them shape again.

Even in a reality where no eyes could perceive her, Byleth was still the most striking being that existed within it. When she arrived, the colours solidified into recognisable outlines of objects that constructed mundanity: pillars, windows, furniture, people. They simply came into being so she could exist among them, and then Dimitri would be able to find her there.

The clearest aspect of reality that bled into his interior world was the presence of walls. They hemmed him in. After five years mostly spent living, hiding and sleeping in the open, it suffocated him.

When Dimitri was younger, his feet carried him to the cathedral on sleepless nights when his torments grew unendurable: the unrelenting clamour of his ghosts, the burden of a purpose with no design, the desperation to reach the end of his path before he lost his mind… his terrible loneliness… his barely hidden passion for his beautiful professor…

The cathedral was not subject to the limitations of the material world. Within it, dichotomies could exist and people suspended their disbelief. The cathedral contained a feeling of boundlessness; it was the one place where he did not feel like an animal in a trap.

Dimitri had to stay in one place. Byleth still could not control where, or when, she emerged in his world. She needed familiarity to guide and stabilise her, so that she would not be untethered and lost. And so, Byleth always arrived beneath the oculus in the cathedral. Fearful of missing even one precious second with her, Dimitri waited for her constantly. He began to sway on his feet from several days of hunger and sleeplessness. Byleth did not come.

When a form finally coalesced in his periphery, it was not her. Felix. His familiar presence was still soothing, even if his harsh words were soon to follow. They did not. Felix brusquely handed him a bowl of something, which Dimitri accepted in surprise. Finally heeding the ache in his legs, he sat on the ground. He began to eat mindlessly, unaware and uncaring of what he was eating.

Felix did not leave. Eventually he lowered himself to the ground too, and remained silent until Dimitri finished his meal and set the bowl aside.

‘I assume you haven’t heard what the men are saying about you.’

Dimitri had not heard, and could not bring himself to care. He grunted disinterestedly, his mind drifting back to Byleth. However, Felix was clearly intent on talking about it.

‘Your battalion seem to be convinced they bore witness to a miracle. A tomahawk about to split your skull in half, miraculously deflected by an invisible shield, etc. They say the Goddess herself protects you, because your cause is just. I was inclined to put it down to the usual dimwits. I mean, I’m surprised we went this long without someone being declared a saint… but I imagine that already having the Goddess’s Chosen One satisfied them until now…’ Felix scoffed derisively.

Dimitri said nothing, so Felix continued. ‘Curiously, the Imperials are circulating a very similar tale. The alterations are predictable. You are guarded by a demon. You cannot be killed.’

Dimitri’s mouth twitched in amusement. ‘How momentous. Edelgard gets a story about me right for the first time.’

‘What are you giggling about, Boar?’

‘…The irony.’

‘No, you stupid Boar! The story. What story?’

‘You would not believe me,’ Dimitri said bitterly. ‘It is pointless telling you.’

Felix wore an inscrutable expression. ‘Well, I’m here to ask you about it, aren’t I? So hurry up and spit it out.’

A small part of Dimitri almost hoped that Felix would believe him— that if he confided in his childhood friend as before, Felix would believe him. ‘Byleth saved me. I thought the attack was meant for her, but of course the Imperial pig could not have seen her…’

‘What do you mean they couldn’t see her? Were you even listening to what I said before?’

‘I told you this was pointless.’

‘Ugh, sorry. I won’t interrupt again.’

Dimitri tried to swallow over his frustration. His mind struggled to transfix the elusive fragments into some form of narrative that Felix could make sense of.

‘I can see Byleth and Sothis. Sothis told me that their souls were meant to become one. While they were trapped in the darkness, Sothis attempted to transfer her power into Byleth’s body, so that Byleth would be able to escape. Sothis believed their souls would join together and she would disappear. But it did not work as she anticipated. They are separate still, and Sothis does not understand why. And now…’ Dimitri paused. What if Felix gave him up to the Professor?

But if he could make Felix believe… What if Felix helped him? What if this was the chance he needed?

‘I think they are trapped… between this world and the other side. The world of the spirits, if you are willing to believe its existence. They are not within Byleth’s body anymore.’ Dimitri’s heart clenched from his misery and steadily growing resentment. ‘Byleth is not in her body… but Sothis believes they are both still tethered to it. It must be why they cannot belong in either world, and are continually… crossing from one side to the other. I saw Byleth and Glenn…’

At that point, Felix obviously could not hold his tongue any longer. ‘What do you mean you can see Glenn?! You think… you think you can see his ghost? They are all ghosts? I…’ Felix stretched out his leg and kicked at a piece of debris. ‘I can believe that you see Sothis. We believed Byleth when she told us, after all.’ Then he grimaced. ‘I can bring myself to consider the theory behind the existence of ghosts. Mercedes definitely talked our ears off about it at the academy. Mostly, it just infuriates me, watching you constantly brooding and talking to yourself. So let’s say I even suspend my cynicism, but only as far as _theorising_ that you can see my brother’s ghost…’

‘I can see all their ghosts. My father and stepmother… everyone who died that day.’

Felix’s expression was ambiguous when he asked, ‘How long have you been able to see them?’

Dimitri put his head in his hands, suddenly nauseous from his lack of sleep. ‘Ever since they died.’

‘Fucking hell…’

They were both quiet for a long time afterwards, but Felix continued to sit there with him. Dimitri had almost begun to drift into sleep when Felix finally broke the silence. ‘Even if I accept all this, what you are saying about By sounds crazy. She is alive. She came back, just like before. How could she still be alive if her soul is dead…’

‘Byleth is not dead!’ Dimitri burst out angrily. ‘She and Sothis are different to the others. I told you, they travel in-between. When Byleth comes, I can feel her as if she is right here, Felix…’ He took a long, harsh inhale as tears threatened to spill over. ‘Sothis is the same… but they are always being pulled away again. Byleth can never stay with me. She has not returned yet, perhaps she is resting… I am waiting for her here…’

Felix looked at him with something like pity, even as he struggled to understand Dimitri’s strange, convoluted descriptions. As detached as he remained from whimsies of this kind, the conviction and anguish in Dimitri’s voice unsettled him. How deep did these delusions run?

Felix said a lot of harsh things about ‘the Boar’ that he did not truly mean or believe. In spite of his callous words— too easily said and often regretted— Felix did not believe that Dimitri had lost his mind. The extent of Dimitri's mental distress perturbed him. Felix demonised Dimitri for things that manifested, and spiralled out of control, because everyone who perceived his suffering never did anything to help him. No one, except for Byleth. The rest of them watched Dimitri being eaten away… and did nothing.

‘The next time Byleth comes to see you, send for me.’

Dimitri stared at him, shaking from the barely controllable hope and relief that began to soar in his chest. He nodded wordlessly.

‘Alright.’

Then Felix was gone.


	5. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the ball.

Dimitri watched Felix’s sceptical gaze being drawn continually to the space where Byleth stood close to Dimitri. Sothis had a penchant for romanticism and named the Goddess Tower as the location for their reunion.

‘I want to ask her a question,’ Felix said finally. His eyes snapped back to Dimitri. ‘Something that only she and I would know.’ He grinned self-deprecatingly. ‘It feels as though we are still at the academy… at one of Mercedes’s ridiculous summoning rituals. Well, what does Byleth say?’

‘That she can already guess the question you have in mind.’

Felix raised his eyebrow in surprise, then scowled slightly. ‘I am not going to challenge you to a guessing game. If that was a ploy to make me give away my thoughts, it has failed. I will not be so easily tricked, Boar! Still, since I bothered to come here…’

Byleth laughed in fond amusement. Dimitri perceived the yearning in her eyes and in the coiled tension of her posture, and the roiling of his foul jealousy sickened him.

‘Ask her if she remembers our promise… The one we made here on the night of the ball.’

The jealousy rose instantly to his throat like bile and choked him. ‘ _You_ were the one with her that night?’

The night of the ball… Regret returned, unassuaged by the passing of five years. The choices he made that night… rather, the ones he did not make… had plagued the young prince at the time.

Dimitri already claimed her heart and body… Why then was he paralysed with anxiety at the prospect of asking her to dance? He had ruined everything with his very first decision of the night. Claude took Byleth’s hand and led her onto the dance floor with such ease. The pair moved into each other’s arms so easily. Their bodies were significantly closer than was necessary! Why did they act as if dancing with such intimacy was entirely natural to them? Searing envy seized his chest, and he bit down on his tongue to control his rage. He could not taste the blood, but the pain helped him regain some of his composure, so he would not crush the hand of his partner.

Byleth was the Blue Lions’ professor— _his_ professor! _He_ was her house leader, not Claude! Dimitri should have been the first to dance with her! Where had the notion even come from that he would not be allowed to dance with the Professor? Even if that was the case, Dimitri knew it would not have stopped Claude. He would still have danced with her and made her laugh as gloriously as she was right then. Dimitri wished desperately that he had been born someone like Claude.

As soon as one dance ended, the next began and Claude twirled her into Ferdinand’s arms. The handsome heir of the Adrestian prime minister gazed at Byleth with such adoration and reverence. His unexpected transfer into her class had certainly caused shockwaves. In spite of his infuriating overconfidence, Dimitri could not help but like the earnest young noble. Still, he bitterly resented the fondness his professor held for Ferdinand. Her blue eyes shimmered under the golden lights while she danced with him, and her face was more animated than Dimitri had ever seen before.

She was passed from the arms of one person to another’s all evening, which caused Dimitri’s distress to grow in tandem: from Ferdinand to Lorenz, Lorenz to Sylvain—who caused a minor upset by ‘hogging the professor’ for two dances—Sylvain to Caspar, then back to Ferdinand… Her brightness only grew more dazzling as he became gradually consumed by the ugly darkness. The agony grew unbearable. Dimitri eventually fled into the courtyard to hide the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Some time later, Byleth stepped outside too. In his relief, Dimitri wanted to take her in his arms, but he was too fearful of being seen. He wished desperately that they were alone. He wished he could keep her someplace where no one else could touch her. Why could Dimitri not be her whole world? Why was he so miserably inadequate? Suddenly, he resented her for the parts of herself that she gave to others without a second thought for his feelings. Why could she not see how he suffered while she whored herself on the dance floor?! After that, he could only remember flashes of what he told Byleth… about Edelgard teaching him to dance, how much fun that time with her had been… the dagger… He wondered childishly if he was making Byleth feel jealous?

‘It is not too late to reconnect.’

Dimitri looked at her in surprise. His professor was as serene as ever, listening to him with her boundless patience… trying to encourage and support him even now… He was truly despicable. With every passing day, Dimitri only continued to prove how unworthy and undeserving he was of her love. She smiled at him and… left him there… Where was she going? …the Goddess Tower… He should have followed her. He should have asked her to go with him… He had briefly entertained the thought of asking her to make a promise with him… to ask if she would go home with him when the year ended. He might have caught up with her if he ran… but he did not.

‘Ask her if she remembers our promise…’

Felix’s russet-brown eyes challenged him, waited for his question to be answered. Dimitri was disoriented by his vivid recollections, and sick with dread as Byleth began to speak. She was smiling, and Dimitri watched a tear grow and cling to the tip of an eyelash… trembling precariously… the anticipation of its pending fall mirrored the sensation in his chest…

‘We promised… all three of us… that we would meet here again one day. Even after we went our separate ways at the end of the year… we would come here together again. Linhardt made me promise to let him research my crest. And you… you pledged that someday you would surpass me; surpass my technique, my skill with the sword and my cunning as a warrior, then you would make me taste defeat!’

That was most definitely _not_ what Dimitri had expected. Sothis was hooting with laughter. He repeated Byleth’s words and watched incredulity form on Felix’s face to match his own. ‘What… the fuck…? Did she tell you that before…?’ Despite his words, Felix’s entire countenance had changed… Dimitri perceived keenly that brief transitory moment in which Felix believed… the sudden tip of the scale…

Byleth started to giggle helplessly too. ‘You… you also said…blades, blood, battle… always be more comfortable holding a sword than—AHAHHAHA—a woman’s hand!’

Dimitri snorted with unintentional laughter, but before he could manage to speak again, Felix made a sound caught somewhere between shock, distress and joy.

‘Byleth!’ Felix stared at Dimitri with wide, startled eyes. ‘Dimitri, I heard… when she laughed, then… I really— Byleth…’

Byleth’s breath hitched in her throat, then she flew to Felix, reaching out for him eagerly… but her arms passed through him. ‘I’m here, Fe… I’m really here,’ she began to weep. She wrung her hands miserably as she stood in front of him, the hope wilting from her expression. ‘I thought I would never see you again… I-I’m so glad you remember me, I was so scared… Felix…’

Felix listened to her like someone in a dream. He could not seem to speak but his expression was a picture of wonder. Then it crumpled and he began to sob into his hands, while Byleth stood close to him and cried with him. Their friendship had never been one that required many words.

After they left their childhood years behind them, Dimitri only saw Felix’s tears three times… when Byleth was ripped away from them into the darkness, when she did not return from the fall… and now. All three times Felix’s tears were for her.


	6. Borders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linhardt initiates Felix into the field of crestology. Dimitri begins to unravel.

_Felix_

Linhardt handed him some scribbled pages of notes. ‘What is this?’ Felix asked.

Linhardt glared at him in exasperation. ‘Maybe if you read it, you will find out! Why do you make everything so hard?!’

> M - Major
> 
> m - minor
> 
> **Holy Kingdom of Faerghus**
> 
> Blaiddyd - Dimitri (m)
> 
> Fraldarius - Felix (M), Rodrigue (m)
> 
> Gautier - Sylvain (m)
> 
> Charon - Catherine (M)
> 
> Dominic - Annette (m)
> 
> Lamine - Mercedes (m), House Martritz, adoptee Kingdom family??
> 
> Daphnel - Ingrid (m), House Galatea, Kingdom - offshoot of Daphnel, Alliance
> 
> **Leicester Alliance**
> 
> Riegan - Claude (m)
> 
> Goneril - Hilda (m), Holst (m?)
> 
> Gloucester - Lorenz (m)
> 
> **Adrestian Empire**
> 
> Seiros - Edelgard (m), House Hresvelg
> 
> Cichol - Ferdinand (m), House Aegir
> 
> Cethleann - me (m), House Hevring
> 
> Indech - Bernadetta (m), House Varley; Prof Hanneman (m), House Essar
> 
> Macuil (lost)
> 
> \- - - - - - -
> 
> **Four Apostles**
> 
> Noa - Constance (M), House Nuvelle, Empire
> 
> Timotheos - Hapi (M) ???
> 
> Chevalier - Balthus (M), House Albrecht, Alliance
> 
> Aubin - Yuri Leclerc (M), Kingdom
> 
> Byleth Eisner - Crest of Flames
> 
> Archbishop Rhea - Crest of Seiros
> 
> Jeralt Eisner (deceased) - Crest of Seiros
> 
> Seteth - Crest of Cichol
> 
> Flayn - Crest of Cethleann
> 
> Marianne - Crest of the Beast (m???), adoptee House Edmund, Alliance
> 
> Lysithea - Crest of Charon (m), implanted Crest of Gloucester (M)
> 
> Edelgard - Crest of Seiros (m), implanted Crest of Flames (M)

‘A catalog of our crests. Is Lysithea the mage from the Deer that everyone claimed was a mastermind? I can't recall what she looked like. I just remember her as a statistic from the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Hapi took her out without even shrugging.’

‘Yes. You _would_ remember a battle statistic from five years ago... I am almost impressed. Hapi and Constance are certainly more powerful. Being the Ashen Wolves prevented them receiving as much recognition. Constance, I believe, has a claim to the title of mastermind... I would like to converse with her at length someday, but her exhausting presence indoors _and_ outdoors...’

‘Right, whatever. Lucky we have those two on our side. What are you saying here about Lysithea and Edelgard having implanted crests? How is it even possible to "implant" a crest... do you mean your blood transfusion theory, based on all of two accounts of hearsay?’

‘…You are clearly not ready for such advanced study. Let us begin with a test of your observation skills. In this catalog, as you call it, there is an immediately visible point of interest. Oh! It also shows you why I was so keen to study your crest when we met. You are one of only two living bearers of Major Crests. From the most ancient lineage among the families of the Ten Elites. The main genetic line of the Elite Fraldarius himself. A Major Crest! The Kingdom is truly at the heart of my research... highest population of crest bearers... manifesting every generation! Part of the reason I joined the Blue Lions... perhaps the entire reason, besides liking Byleth. I hope we retake the Kingdom capital, if only so I can access the Royal Library...’ Felix listened disinterestedly as Linhardt continued to ramble, growing increasingly incoherent... or was it because Felix's attention kept drifting? Either way, he was an impatient student.

‘…Could you possibly summarise the main points for me?’

‘Ugh, fine.’

‘Does the geographical distribution of the crests not seem odd to you?’ Linhardt asked, looking at Felix intently.

‘…’ Felix made a show of pondering the question, although he intended to make Linhardt just give him the fucking answer. Much to his surprise, Felix realised he understood what Linhardt wanted him to see. ‘The crests of the Ten Elites originate from the Kingdom and Alliance. Only the Adrestian nobility possess the Saints' crests. I suppose that is odd. I doubt it was a simple coincidence where the Kingdom's borders were put in place. Perhaps some of the Elites' families migrated? It still means they left the Empire...’

Linhardt nodded, wearing an extremely pleased expression. ‘Precisely. As for your question regarding migration; the only house on historical record to have done so is House Galatea. They left the lands of their Elite ancestor following an internal division within House Daphnel in the Alliance. They were granted a title and feudal territory in the Kingdom, thus founding House Galatea. That is why Ingrid possesses the crest of Daphnel. Meanwhile, House Daphnel has not produced a crest-bearer for a few generations now...’

‘Well, Saint Seiros helped to found the Adrestian Empire, and Edelgard bears the crest of Seiros. Maybe the other Saints decided they should all hang out, or something...’ Felix was rather interested, in spite of himself. ‘So what does this all mean?’

‘I am not sure exactly.’

‘…What kind of useless researcher are you???’

Linhardt sighed heavily. 'Well, I cannot say if it has particular significance now; but it would seem the families of the Ten Elites were at the heart of the Kingdom’s secession from the Adrestian Empire. If nothing else, the reason why might be rather fascinating…’

* * *

_Dimitri_

_They managed to steal some time together one afternoon, taking their horses into the hills, laughing and yelling out to each other as they raced. Her long blue-black tresses whipped behind her, her cheeks were tinged with pink from the biting wind; Dimitri was spellbound watching her. It was still difficult to believe that such a beautiful, strong, intriguing woman could want someone like him…_

_He kept waiting for her to tire of him, become bored, discontented with his stupidity, lack of experience, lack of sophistication. She would discard him soon, the ghosts would whisper, how could he ever satisfy someone like her? Byleth would forget him as easily as some boy by the wayside…_

_Far enough away from the monastery, they found an out-of-the-way spot in a field of tall grass. He leapt from his horse almost before they had stopped moving, hurrying to help Byleth off her horse. Her eyes sparkled fondly at him as she slid down into his arms. She was irresistible. He tangled his hands in her hair, lowering his head to kiss her, trying to tell her all the things he struggled to find words for_ …

‘Dimitri.’

_They lay together, side by side, on a blanket spread out on the grass. He wanted to know all about her, her life before she met him, every story, every memory, every thought and feeling… He wanted all of her. She always seemed so happy, talking about her father, their life on the road, the mercenaries’ antics; sometimes she was sad, never having friends her own age, her lack of expressions disturbed them, she became the Ashen Demon, finding something empowering in being terrifying, difficult to understand, aloof from the world…_

_Dimitri lay on his stomach and moved to lay his head on her chest, tilting his head to kiss her neck, pressing kisses to the underside of her jaw, wrapping his arm around her waist, wanting to be even closer to her. She ran her fingers through his hair, kissed his forehead, told him how happy she was right then, just being there with him…_

‘Dimitri, why do you refuse to talk to me?’

‘What?!’ He was furious at being torn from his momentary reprieve. He reluctantly opened his eye, and a tear escaped down his cheek. It was the professor, her seafoam hair blinding in the light from the oculus. He jerked away and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

‘...Dimitri, are you crying?’ She placed her hand on his arm, and he recoiled from her angrily.

‘Do not touch me! Leave me alone!’

‘Why are you treating me like this? Ever since I came back...’

Dimitri rounded on the woman who wore the grotesque cast of his beloved's face. ‘Why is it _you_ here? What did you do to her?!’

Even when her face was devoid of expression, it was completely foreign. Why could he not see it five years ago?

_Dimitri was consumed by the urgency of his vengeance, to the exclusion of all other considerations. The blessed end of his tortured existence ... so close, such a small distance to cross... after that, rebirth. When the dead were appeased and his ghosts exorcised... when the fires died down, and he was no longer asphyxiated by smoke, the smell of burning flesh..._

_It was the moment his destiny would be realised, and then... finally Dimitri would be free. This was the task he was born to... to kill his sister... The harrowing, blood-soaked future that Edelgard's reign portended would end with her here. When the fiend lay dead at his feet... her red dress indistinguishable from her own blood... With her blood, Dimitri knew he would be washed clean. Then he would give all of himself to Byleth. She was the only future Dimitri ever wanted, and she was waiting for him on the other side..._

‘Who are you talking about?’

‘Byleth!!! My beloved... her body. You stole it from her! While she is lost...’

Finally, emotion. Fear… ‘I am Byleth, Dimitri. Is it your ghosts? You know they lie sometimes. Whatever they are saying about me, it is not true. You know me, don't you? Am I not the one you trust the most?’ She reached to touch his face, and he knocked her hand away in violent disgust.

‘I do not know you.’ Dimitri was so weary that even his rage abandoned him. ‘I know you are not her now. Your words no longer have power over me. Do not come near me again! I am sick of the sight of your face.’ He turned his back on her.

Dimitri realised in anguish that he could no longer return to that afternoon with Byleth.

She steals everything from me.


	7. Memories of Byleth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix finds himself caught up in lighter days at the academy.

// Felix //

The Professor told them she slept through the five years that passed. Byleth said she remained awake. Lucid, until lucidity dissolved into the empty landscapes without end. Sometimes, she crossed over and was tormented by hands reaching and grabbing for her body, begging her to stay, cursing, pleading, calling her the Goddess… Other times, there was only darkness… praying to see her father, praying Dimitri would come for her… anguished that Sothis was gone, and for the first time in her life, she was truly alone.

Sothis came for her. She had always come for her. Then she was safe. Finally, she could sleep. Sothis kept her from being lost again.

Dimitri was able to reach her twice for agonisingly brief moments of time. The moments of his death. Until Sothis rewound time and asked him to continue living… It would not be long now.

Guilt. That was what Felix felt more deeply than any other emotion. Guilt… and an even stronger self-hatred than he already possessed. Felix was sickened by the reality that Byleth never came back five years ago… and he had not noticed. It did not matter that she forgave him. _‘I know now what happened in the two months I was not with you. Then the passing of five years… None of you could have known, Felix.’_ That was not true. _He_ was supposed to be different!

‘…approached by such a beauty!’ Sylvain sounded like he had full control of his mind. Felix’s eyes snapped up immediately, narrowed with suspicion. Posture - loose-limbed but alert, legs - slender but well-defined… clearly a fighter. Interesting.

‘Felix!!! Are you _ogling_ her legs?! I expect this from Sylvain, but you…’ Ingrid hissed, fist raised to clout him.

‘Shut the fuck up, Ingrid— OW!!!’

The disruption caused the girl to turn in their direction and her eyes met his. That single look told him exactly what she was feeling: ‘I’m bored. Want to spar.’

…Alright, so perhaps that was a projection.

Felix decided to go ahead all the same and interrupt Sylvain, who was being more persistent than usual.

‘You. I’m bored. Let’s go spar.’

Felix had no doubt she would say yes. He caught a flash of mirth in her eyes, and her lips curved into the hint of a smile.

‘Sure.’

They passed through the courtyard exchanging the necessary personal information.

‘I’m Felix. Who are you? More importantly, what is your weapon?’

‘My name is Byleth. I prefer the sword. You?’

‘Excellent. I am the same. What else are you good at?’

‘Lance and grappling, I suppose. I can fight with most weapons.’

He was struck by a sudden realisation. ‘Are you the mercenary that Dimitri…’ Oh, great. As if summoned by his name, the Boar Prince ran up from the other side of the courtyard.

‘Byleth! I see you have already met Felix. Then you have visited the Blue Lions? I am their house leader this year. Have you decided which house you will choose…?’

‘I’ll be in the training grounds over there,’ Felix told Byleth irritably, and made to stalk off. Damn Boar! Hopefully he would not hold her up too long.

‘Felix, wait!’ Byleth laid a hand on his arm. ‘I still have to meet the Black Eagles, but I am definitely considering your house, Dimitri. Felix and I are going to spar right now, but can I speak to you again later?’

‘Oh, of course…’

As they continued on their way, Felix cast a backwards glance over his shoulder. The Boar was still staring after Byleth with a very odd expression. The emotions Dimitri exuded were so strong that Felix was momentarily taken aback. Felix realised he understood what they meant. He had only met her two nights ago, but Dimitri was infatuated with her.

Felix prided himself on being her best friend. The only other student she grew as close to was Linhardt, and to a lesser extent, Edelgard, Ferdinand and Bernadetta. Felix had scoffed at Mercedes and Marianne when they informed him in unnecessarily hushed tones about kindred spirits, astral influences and bonds that transcended lifetimes. Felix had no time for such things. Still, his angsty younger self believed them about Byleth… just a little bit.

Who was it that wore Byleth’s face now? Felix was not sure what he was looking for, but he was perpetually on edge. He kept waiting for her to reveal something. He could not understand how it came to be… What happened when Byleth was trapped inside Zahras five years ago?

‘You look like you have something unpleasant on your mind.’ It was her.

‘Tch, I am steeling myself to see my father again,’ Felix grumbled, which in actual fact he was. ‘I can’t stand that old man.’

‘But he is your father,’ she replied. Her tone was difficult to interpret. _More fodder for my endless deconstruction of our conversations._

‘That is just biological circumstance. We may have the same blood, but we have nothing else in common.’ Byleth understood the way Felix expressed his feelings about Rodrigue. The old man and Byleth had fast become friends during the handful of occasions they saw each other. She never tried to mediate on Rodrigue’s behalf. It had unexpectedly helped, and Felix’s interactions with Rodrigue had been very civil in Byleth’s presence… friendly even. She always seemed to understand the convoluted ways of thorny Fraldarius hearts.

A memory of a ‘double date’ during a Blue Lions’ study trip to Fhirdiad came to mind, making him cringe internally. Rodrigue had travelled to the capital when he heard of their arrival, and taken Felix, Hilda and Byleth out to dinner. Felix hated to admit it, but he remembered smiling often that night. He may even have enjoyed the old man’s company…

Hilda and Byleth went to ‘the powder room’, looking distinctly suspicious, and left a grumpy Felix alone with his father.

‘I feel I can understand now why you and Byleth became so close. Having someone who can understand you is a very heartening thing.’

Felix was slightly disarmed by his father’s tone and admitted, ‘She reminds me of Glenn… a little.’

‘Ahhh yes, I felt the same way…’ For once, the mention of Glenn did not suffocate them. ‘Seeing the way you are with your friends makes me feel reassured. They both seem like good-hearted young ladies. It is refreshing being in their company… I feel lighter at heart than I have in several years.’

‘I hope you’re not getting any ideas about By,’ Felix said in amusement. ‘The Boar would destroy half of Fhirdiad— the entire city even.’

Rodrigue laughed heartily. ‘Of course, I know of His Highness’s feelings. I am an avid reader of _Professor of My Heart_ after all.* Now, you and the charming Lady Hilda…’

‘There is nothing between the two of us,’ Felix cut off the foolish old man swiftly. ‘So don’t you and the whimsical old woman start imagining weddings and grandchildren, or anything stupid…’ Rodrigue’s crestfallen expression confirmed that those had been his exact thoughts. ‘Besides, I am not the one she wants.’ Felix took a sip of water to avoid making eye contact with his father.

‘Now, Felix. You should not underestimate the legendary Fraldarius charm.’ Rodrigue’s voice was on the edge of laughter. ‘I have it on good authority that House Fraldarius is famed in the Alliance for its “bad boys with crests”. It is a timeless fetish.’

Felix laughed so hard, he snorted the water painfully through his nose.

A vision of Hilda Valentine Goneril with the stupid pink twin-tails distracted Felix from his conversation with the Professor. They had exchanged a few letters over the course of the first three years. Then Felix had been caught up in the endless fighting, struggling to hold his family’s borders against Cornelia’s relentless incursions. In the end, Felix had left Hilda’s last two letters unanswered. Two years passed before he noticed, and by then he knew they would see each other soon. Felix hoped she would not be overly upset… Not a chance.

Passivity. That was the most marked difference. Once you began looking, one continuously found evidence to reinforce one’s suspicions. However, Byleth was never passive. It was an immutable fact! Felix realised he noticed that difference five years ago. At the Holy Tomb when Edelgard was unmasked and the beast engulfed Dimitri once again. Afterwards, the Professor asked if he was alright. A stupid question, frankly, because Dimitri was not fucking alright. The Boar switched its face back to the Prince’s and assured her lightheartedly that he was completely fine.

Felix could not know if anything further was said in private. From that day on, all he knew was that Dimitri fell deeper and deeper into the darkness… but it seemed like Byleth only enabled him… she protected him while he fought like a rabid creature. Felix should have seen that.

Byleth never gave up on Dimitri. Even if she had to fight him herself. If Byleth had been there, would everything have happened differently? It was a foolish thought, but one that manifested from his guilt. If he had noticed back then, if they had found a way to save her… could Byleth have saved Dimitri? In the midst of his gloom, a lighter memory drifted through his mind, making him exhale a quiet laugh.

At the academy, Byleth and Sylvain came up with a ‘foolproof’ strategy to keep Dimitri out of trouble. One day, over something or other, Dimitri went on a violent rampage of mass destruction. After he threw a desk through a window into the reception hall, nearly killing Dorothea, they agreed it was time for extreme measures. They would lock Dimitri up to reduce the area of effect of his damage.

As luck would have it, they saw Lady Rhea floating away in the direction of the cathedral. The Archbishop’s audience chamber was perfect! Minimal furniture, airy and spacious (they did not want Dimitri to feel claustrophobic), and sturdy doors.

Cyril was at hand and locked the doors for them. Then Linhardt made a heroic dash into range and warped Dimitri into the audience chamber. Now they could reason with the furious Prince with the safety barrier of nice solid doors between them. The plan worked smoothly… too smoothly.

Seteth was locked inside… with the Tempest Prince. Seteth mooched out of the inner chamber only to witness Prince Dimitri using a heavy marble pedestal as a battering ram…

‘Vandalism of church property! Narrowly evaded MANSLAUGHTER!!! Or so you claim! I remain unconvinced that it was not an ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE!!!’ Seteth screamed at the Blue Lions, who were lined up meekly to face Lady Rhea’s judgement. ‘Archbishop, I beg of you! Punish these miscreants!!! Look— Gautier is LAUGHING at me!!!’

Lady Rhea ignored her irate advisor and smiled affectionately at Byleth. ‘Byleth, I trust that you will discipline your students as necessary?’

Byleth nodded affirmatively while the rest of them stifled their snickers. Constance exploded into an ‘OHOH—’ before being smothered by Hapi.

Rhea smiled at them all fondly. ‘Off you go then, little ones.’

Seteth’s eyes shone with tears of frustration.

// Dimitri //

Byleth’s slender hand caressed his cheek and he leaned into it, and his eye closed with relief. Her other hand rested on his chest. Dimitri held it in his own and kissed her palm with trembling lips.

‘You have never been a cruel person. You and I both know that is not who you are. I was blessed to be a recipient of your profound care and compassion. It was from you that I learned to show my own to others. No matter how our years apart may have changed you, I know that to be true, beyond a doubt.’

When Byleth said it, he felt he could believe her.

She tilted his chin so that he would meet her eyes. When she smiled for him, he felt his heart unclench. Release flooded his chest as he exhaled deeply. Byleth looked at him tenderly and brushed his matted bangs away from his eye.

‘Please don’t hurt her, Dimitri. Hurt poisons and twists people’s hearts. I think you know that better than anyone.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference to Bernadetta's romance periodical in my other fic Cusp xxx


	8. Ceres

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate and cruelty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentioned abortion.

_Byleth and Sothis_

Sometimes, the response to cruelty takes years to manifest. Other times, its consequences are immediate and unpredictable. Byleth gripped Sothis’s small hand tightly. Her heart, finally able to feel after so many years, was being torn apart.

‘There must be a way we can stop this!’ Sothis was more agitated than Byleth had ever seen her. ‘I did not protect your baby only for him to be taken away from you like this! She is shutting us out. She is lashing out like a hurt child. If we could only reverse time…’

‘What would it change?’ Byleth asked, tears streaming down her face. ‘Dimitri is far away, so are Felix and Linhardt. Who could reach us here in time in the few seconds we could go back?’ She released a shuddering breath, preparing to face the inevitability with calm. ‘It is not my body anymore, Sothis. I would not force my will on her. Even if we could do it, it would be a cruel tyranny. I saw her, Sothis, and she _is_ still a child. Yours and mine.’

‘Dear one,’ Sothis held Byleth’s hand in both of her own, tears falling from her own eyes. ‘I cannot regret more that I created a world in which fate could be so cruel. I cannot fathom what form of myself I was to have made it so. Please forgive me.’

_Mercedes_

Her hands shook as she left the infirmary. It was the first time Mercedes had ever been a part of the procedure of abortion. Professor Manuela had performed it several times, but even she had cried when Professor Byleth confirmed her decision. Mercedes was a practical young woman, and she knew Byleth was right. Byleth could not fight a war with a child growing in her belly. Not when there was an army that depended on her to lead them on the field of battle. Not when she had to lead in place of a prince that had lost his mind.

To hear Byleth describe Dimitri in that way had felt like a blow to all their hopes. Byleth was the one person they believed would never give up on Dimitri. If Byleth had lost hope, what did that mean for the rest of them?

Despite Linhardt being her best friend and the most skilled healer among them, Byleth had insisted she did not want him there. She did not even want Dimitri or Felix there. Marianne had to assist them, her face pale and wan; but she would do anything for Byleth. All of them would do anything for their professor. The months they had spent at the academy, with her as their teacher, was a golden time in all the Blue Lions’ minds. She had become such a precious existence in all their hearts.

When Mercedes left the room, Byleth was lying in bed, her face turned away from them as Marianne stroked her hair and spoke gently to her.

Everyone had noticed how the relationship between Dimitri and Byleth seemed to have grown ugly and twisted. Their relationship, their bond, had felt like a constant from the first day Byleth walked into their class. It had only grown stronger through the time they had all spent together before the world grew dark. Each of them struggled to deal with it. It felt like yet another part of the foundation holding them together was crumbling beneath their feet.

Dimitri had grown cold and harsh, but surely even he could not be without emotion at such a time. Mercedes could not fathom what the conversation between Dimitri and Byleth must have been like before she made such a painful decision. The baby had been Dimitri's heir; the next heir to the Kingdom’s throne. It had been a miracle that he even survived the five years his mother was suspended in sleep.

Mercedes was one of the first people Byleth had told; Byleth came to her five years ago, to have her confirm if she was really pregnant. Byleth was worried by the confirmation, but Mercedes also saw a brief flash of happiness and hope in her eyes. She asked that Dimitri not be told just yet; she wanted to speak to her father first.

Mercedes wiped some tears off her face. She decided to visit the cathedral and say a prayer for the innocent child, another casualty of this meaningless war. War was truly an accursed thing if it affected lives in such a way. Especially lives that had already known so much suffering.

She had nothing to hold onto but her faith that the Goddess would reveal her plans and guide them when the time came.

_Felix_

When Professor Manuela came to inform Dimitri and Felix that the Professor was well and resting, they stared at her in confusion.

‘What are you talking about?’ Felix asked, his voice sharper than he intended. ‘Did something happen to her?’

Manuela’s expression registered surprise, then understanding, then sorrow. ‘I see,’ she said, her voice uncertain. ‘I should have known from Byleth’s behaviour that she had not told you.’

‘What are you talking about?!’ Dimitri exploded at her. ‘I demand that you tell me right now! Stop playing with me!’ Felix could only watch as Manuela spoke and Dimitri’s face changed, emotions flashing across his face faster than Felix could catch them. What remained at the end was intense distress and fury. He stalked past Manuela, headed out of the cathedral doors.

Felix had not known. This was the first time he had heard that Byleth had been pregnant before the war. His heart clenched with misery. How much more agony could two souls bear?

He wondered if Byleth or Sothis knew yet. _All I can do is be at Dimitri’s side. I know that is what she would ask of me_.

‘YOU HAD NO RIGHT!!!’ Dimitri was screaming. He looked like a feral beast again, his body shaking with barely restrained rage, pain and hatred for the green-haired woman sitting in front of them. Marianne was cowering in a corner of the room, paralysed with fear.

‘That child was mine and Byleth’s! How could you take him away from me too??? How much is there left to take?? What have I done to be punished so? Why do _you_ punish me?!’

‘You have treated me with nothing but cruelty and disdain since I came back,’ the Professor replied with an oddly calm expression. ‘You scorned me, rejected me; you won’t touch me. All you care about is _her_. All you think about is _her_. Well, she left you. I am the one who is here now. I owe you nothing. What obligation did I have to carry your child? I am already fighting your war, Your Highness.’

‘You are a monster,’ Dimitri began to sob wretchedly. ‘Will you take everything of my beloved’s away from me?’

‘There is nothing of hers left to take. Nothing but you. I thought for a time five years ago that I wanted you. Now I feel nothing but disgust. Would you have placed these same expectations on Byleth? Fight for you _and_ bear your heirs? How egotistical of you. _You_ are the monster, Your Highness. Perhaps that is why she left you.’

‘Byleth didn’t leave me!!! She wouldn’t… she promised… Please don’t take her away from me!’

Felix felt sick, watching Dimitri kneeling at her feet, huddled in on himself, and crying like a broken child. _What is happening? How did everything become such a nightmare?_

‘I am sorry, Dimitri, but… I don’t care anymore. I realised I was trying to live her life, to become her. Trying to be this woman that everyone admires, praises, holds above my head as this ideal of perfection and beauty. This woman that you lust for even after she is dead. Not even wearing her skin is enough to make you want me! You would rather be in love with her memory than touch me! All I do is fall short, and I can see it in everyone’s eyes. I am sick of it!!!’ She was coming apart. Her own pent up rage and resentment were ripping at her seams.

‘Byleth…’ Felix tried to speak, and she rounded on him.

‘Do _not_ treat me like a child! You pretend to be my friend, but I see the way you look at me too. Always trying to catch me out, always watching me with suspicion. Did you want to fuck her too, Felix? It wouldn’t surprise me. It feels like every single person here wanted to fuck her, even after she chose her pretty blue-eyed prince. It makes me SICK! I AM THE GODDESS, yet you all hold me to _her_ image and judge me inferior. As if she was a goddess even before me!’

Her green eyes were incandescent with a mixture of spite and disdain when she looked down at Dimitri’s distraught, tear-streaked face. ‘You have no claim to her body anymore. Her body is _mine_. I know Byleth would have made the same choices in my place. We are closer than you could ever be.’ She smiled. It was a smile Felix had never seen on Byleth’s face before. It wasn’t her face anymore.

‘Yes, even _she_ is mine now. You were selfish. All you brought her was pain. All you did was demand and take from her, because you were a poor, sad little prince. Perhaps with me she will finally be happy. Don’t you want Byleth to be happy, Dimitri?’

_Byleth_

The young girl laid her head in Byleth’s lap as she cried. Byleth cried with her, stroking her dark green hair gently. They were in Byleth’s old room, sitting on her bed. It was still full of mementoes of herself. There was nothing to show that someone else lived here now.

‘Please forgive me, Mother… please forgive me…’

‘Shhh, it is alright now. I forgive you.’ Byleth took a shaky breath, continuing to run her fingers soothingly through the girl’s hair. ‘I am sorry I could not come to you sooner.’

The girl wailed despairingly, wrapping her arms around Byleth’s waist, soaking her dress with her tears. ‘I am so sorryyyyy, I-I wanted to hurt h-him, not you, Mother. I hate him so much, I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM. He is a monster!! Please don’t love him anymore, Mother, _please_?? Will you keep on loving him and hate me??’

Byleth shut her eyes, her heart breaking. She wished desperately that Jeralt was with her. What would her father have done? What would he have said?

Byleth tried to speak truthfully. ‘I cannot lie and say you have not hurt me. It hurts a lot, and I think it will keep hurting for a while. But I don’t hate you. Just… please don’t make me choose between you and Dimitri. I love him too.’

‘But he is angry, he is going to hurt me— I know it! _Please_ , Mother!!!’

‘I won’t let him hurt you,’ Byleth said, her voice resolute. ‘He would not be so cruel.’

‘He has been so cruel to me,’ the girl continued sobbing. ‘Even when I tried my best to be like you… and… and now I k-killed _his_ child… yours. Please forgive me!!!’

‘No one can replace someone else. I am grateful that you stay and fight in my place,’ Byleth said quietly. ‘Dimitri is suffering, in a way that you can’t see yet. I can’t abandon him, anymore than I can abandon you.’ The girl's crying slowly quieted to hiccups as Byleth continued speaking, continued stroking her hair. ‘From now on, you can be yourself. Find things that make _you_ happy.’

‘What are your favourite flowers?’ Byleth asked eventually, seeing the empty vase on the chest of drawers.

‘I-I am not sure yet. I think I like… yellow carnations.’

Byleth smiled at a fond memory. ‘They were Edelgard’s favourite flowers. If you asked Ashe, I am sure he would be happy to give you some carnations from the greenhouse. That vase looks rather empty…’

‘What are your favourite flowers, Mother?’

‘I love red camellias. When I was here at the academy, I made a garland of them for Dimitri during the Garland Moon. I didn’t fully realise it at the time, but he was in love with me. When I gave it to him, he kissed me,’ Byleth found herself laughing as she remembered. ‘He told me it was his first kiss. After that, he remembered my favourite flowers and gave them to me on my birthday… I suppose he was a lot sweeter back then, for sure!’ The girl watched her, green eyes beginning to sparkle, a smile forming on her face too. She looked so much like Sothis… and Sitri.

‘You are so beautiful, Mother…’

Byleth blushed. ‘Little flatterer!’

‘It’s true,’ the girl sniffed and sat up, pointing towards the wall near the desk. They were yellowed, the paper brittled with age, but the images remained: the portrait that Ignatz had drawn of Byleth, and her favourite; the one he had drawn of her and Dimitri. A feeling of painful nostalgia settled in Byleth’s stomach. ‘I looked at those pictures of you all the time, wondering what you were like. I am glad you came back for me…’

Overcome by a sudden mixture of fondness and sorrow, Byleth kissed her on the forehead with trembling lips. ‘There will be times when I have to go away like before, but I promise I will come back to see you as often as I can.’ The girl nodded eagerly, tears welling in her eyes again at Byleth’s gesture of affection.

‘Mother… Will you tell me my name?’

Byleth looked at her, surprised. _Her name?_

‘Byleth is your name, after all. I think I would like one of my own… Will you give me a name?’

‘I always thought that if I had a daughter, I would name her Ceres.’

Ceres smiled and threw her arms around Byleth, resting her head on her chest. ‘Before you leave, will you tell me the story of those pictures?’

Byleth laughed again, flooded by memories of those happier times. ‘Ignatz drew them; he is a wonderful artist! He was in the Golden Deer class so he isn’t here at the monastery, which is a little bit sad. That picture of Dimitri and me— You see, Sylvain and Bernie published a romance serial called _Professor of My Heart_ and it became quite a hit in the Kingdom…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! It really motivates me to keep writing, knowing that you are all here reading and enjoying it with me! ♥


	9. In Her Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Linhardt continue to unravel a complicated history.

_Dimitri_

He waited and waited but Byleth still did not come. It was Sothis who finally came, letting him lay his head in her lap as he wept brokenly, stroking his hair with a mother’s comforting hand.

‘I am sorry, little one. Please forgive me,’ Sothis said finally. ‘I know now. She is my child.’

‘I do not understand,’ Dimitri managed to choke through his tears.

‘I believe that rather than disappear into Byleth, I created a being born of myself. Byleth and I remained, separate but still together. This child... she does not exist in the same space as us. She is the one who controls Byleth's body. We could not reach her before. I still cannot reach her. However, Byleth was able to…’

Dimitri’s mind tried to comprehend her meaning. ‘So… Byleth is with her right now?’ His heart twisted bitterly. ‘She chose to go to that… that woman, instead of to me?’

‘Please do not let that poison your mind, little one. Byleth feels responsible for the child…’

‘What about _our_ child?’ Dimitri sobbed furiously. ‘What about her child with me? Does she not care that— that fiend killed our baby? Byleth chose her instead of me…’ _It hurts so much. Why did Byleth not choose me? I need her too, but she is not here. She is with the one who killed our baby._

Fear flooded his entire being. It was just like the demon had said. She was already taking Byleth away, like she said she would. _She must be poisoning Byleth against me. Turning her heart away from me. Why is this happening?? Will Byleth really believe her words? Are they truly as close as that bitch said? Will she be turned against me by this demon, who pretends to be an innocent?_

Sothis gleaned the turn in his thoughts and breathed a heavy sigh. ‘Byleth loves you. Trust her as she trusts you. It is not possible for her heart to be so easily turned. Deep down, you know that, child.’

‘That woman should pay for what she did,’ Dimitri muttered, his heart full of venom. ‘If she was not in Byleth’s body, I would already have wrung her foul neck.’

A dark expression passed over Sothis’s face. ‘To think that you and I would share the same feeling! Punishment was the first thought to cross my own mind, while Byleth’s heart turned to forgiveness. I do not believe I am a kind goddess after all… But I believe in Byleth, and she believes healing the child’s soul will do more good. I must believe that she is right.’

_Felix_

Both of them being dysfunctional human beings when it came to dealing with their emotions, Felix and Linhardt threw themselves into their research instead.

‘I had failed to realise something very simple.’ Linhardt tripped, knocking over a stack of books, but managing to surf them and land on his feet. He continued on as if nothing had happened. From his desk, he carefully picked up an old document, the paper so worn from age that most of the text on it had faded away. ‘Read this, while I gather the other things I need… I found this in the Shadow Library. I will need your help with investigating the materials there. If there are more valuable sources of information like this, I can only begin to think…’

> **The Truth of the Heroes' Relics**
> 
> "I, a priest of _______ the findings of my investigation___ When a Crest Stone was removed while its Relic was being wielded by ______ all movement within the Relic ceased. When the Stone was returned, the Relic once again ____ It is beyond question that Crest Stones supply their associated Relic with power of some kind. And the impetus of said power is clearly related to the Crests that certain humans possess...
> 
> ...Based on the composition of ___ it can be summarised that _______ likely a massive creature akin to a wyvern. However ____ strength is beyond compare to that of wyvern bones. They are more durable than all materials other than crucible steel, making them ideal for crafting weaponry, and absolutely _______ inhabiting ____ difficult to conceive, but one theory____ Is it possible that______ the goddess's___ have potentially...
> 
> ... Heroes' Relics have been found that are not linked to the Ten Elites.______ the 10 Elites_______ Could it be that others were gifted this power by the goddess as well? Perhaps the disturbing____ that the Relics were not gifts from the goddess___ Additionally______ the same Crest Stones____ Many of my hypotheses_______ I am desperate to find the truth of it all.
> 
> The time has come. I must discard_____ I daresay the goddess would not wish for me to learn more than I already have.

‘So…’ Felix mused, ‘without its crest stone, a Relic will not work, even if it is being wielded by the crest bearer. We already knew as much. We also saw how the crest stone transformed Miklan five years ago. It makes sense that the crest stones are at the heart of it all…’

‘Exactly!’ Linhardt unearthed a sheaf of drawings, flicking through them in a frenzy. Felix marvelled at the sketches he glimpsed, wondering if Linhardt had been hiding an artistic talent even greater than Ignatz’s. ‘But we know one Relic that would appear to prove this theory false.’ Linhardt spread out a sketch of the Sword of the Creator, with the empty hole at its centre; and a second sketch of a crest stone bearing the Crest of Flames. ‘Only the Sword of the Creator was preserved. The location of its crest stone is still unknown. And yet, Byleth was able to wield the sword even before she became the vessel of the Goddess.’

‘But that was because Sothis was still inside her, regardless, right?’ Felix curiously traced the hypnotic interweaving lines of the Crest of Flames with his finger.

‘Right, but what if it is even simpler than that? Something that is so obvious…’

‘Can you stop with all this keeping me in suspense?! It is so unnecessary!’

‘Fine! My hypothesis is this: I think the Crest of Flames resides in Byleth’s body.’

‘…Well, of course we fucking know it resides in her body, what the fuck— WAIT! You mean… the crest stone itself???’ Felix was completely shaken. Linhardt was right. It was an incredibly simple solution.

‘Yes. That would mean Byleth received her crest’s power from the crest stone itself. I believe that must be what Rhea did; she implanted the crest stone in Byleth’s body. Before that, it must have been Sitri who was the carrier. When Rhea said Sitri gave her heart to her baby… that must be what she was referring to.’

‘But how would implanting a crest stone have saved a dying baby’s life?’ Felix was both fascinated and increasingly agitated by the possibilities they were unearthing.

‘That is the question I am stuck on right now, without the relevant experiments on the crest stones themselves… However, we know this much: the Empire used crest stones to create their Demonic Beasts. And the crest stone of Gautier powered the beast that Miklan became. The crest stones’ power must be a type of life force.’

‘That is why Rhea described it as a heart,’ Felix continued Linhardt’s thought, as they had started to do increasingly. ‘Perhaps it was the crest stone that gave Sitri life. Maybe she didn’t just carry it inside her. Lin, what if it _was_ her heart?? And she gave it to By…’

‘That is what I think, yes.’

Felix sat down on Linhardt’s bed with a heavy exhale. It was a lot to take in. ‘So that is why her heart doesn’t beat? You think her heart is the crest stone itself?’

‘That is the other part of the theory that doesn’t completely fit. Sitri wasn’t a real human, she was a construct. But Byleth is human, Jeralt was human. Byleth wasn’t Rhea’s construct; Sitri gave birth to her naturally, at least to Jeralt’s knowledge. His diary is our only corroboration of that fact. If we hold to the assumption that Byleth is human, her body’s biological function would require a heart. Unless the crest stone is not only a power source, but can fully replicate the functions of a human heart.

‘But if that is _not_ the case, By may still have her heart, just… supplemented by the crest stone?'

‘Yes. You know, Felix, you have it in you to be a Crest scholar. I could take you on as my disciple…’

‘Shut up, Hevring, don’t lose focus! Also Jeralt was not present at the birth itself. Only Rhea was. Even the story that Sitri was dying and By needed saving could be a hoax. What if Rhea just wanted a new host for the crest stone, and Sitri was damaged in childbirth or something?’

‘Felix, I would be inclined to say you are being melodramatic, but it is a possibility after all.’

‘So why did the crest stone need to be implanted in Sitri in the first place, and then later in By? Why not just leave it in the Sword of the Creator…?’ No sooner had Felix begun speaking than he realised what Linhardt had been leading him up to the entire time.

‘Sothis! Sothis was inside the crest stone…’

_Byleth_

‘So you finally decided to come to me.’

When Byleth arrived, he would not look at her. He kept his gaze trained on the floorboards. Byleth was always sensitive to his moods, and sensed the distance he was keeping between them. She sat down a few inches from him on the bed, clasping her hands in her lap, even though she wanted desperately to hold him, and have him hold her.

In moments like this, Byleth knew if she started to explain herself, Dimitri would only lash out and say hurtful things he would beg to take back later on.

So she waited for him to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter! I was honestly delighted that it got such positive feedback. I hope you keep enjoying reading! ♥


	10. Dreams of a Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri and Byleth try to face their grief together.

_Dimitri_

Silence fell between them for a long painful moment. Left to grapple with his own unformed accusations and hurtful words, with no target to cast them against, Dimitri felt his resentment begin to crumble. It felt like they had returned to the days when Byleth was his teacher, waiting silently, not saying a word, knowing that _he_ knew what his mistake was; waiting for _him_ to reach the answer himself.

Dimitri finally spoke, his voice shaking. ‘Why did you not come? I needed you so desperately. I love you so much, Byleth… I love you.’ He felt like a child, always always always pleading for her reassurance, her renewal of promises; begging to be told the words he needed to hear over and over again, begging for her body to accept him. I am so weak, so needy and pathetic. Do I disgust her too? ‘Beloved, please do not choose her over me! I am so afraid… so afraid that she will take you away from me!’

Byleth opened her arms and he fell into them. All his intentions of being resistant and blameful vanished in an instant. His tears drenched her skin. He felt the sensation of them bursting where they touched, as he kissed her mouth, her face, ran his lips and tongue over her throat. She let him pull her into his lap, kissing her and telling her over and over how much he loved her.

‘Dima,’ she said finally, capturing his face with her hands and forcing him to look at her. ‘I am sorry I didn’t come to you first. I know I hurt you, and I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive me for not telling you about our baby…’

He would forgive her anything, he thought. Anything, as long as she stayed with him. He held her chin, kissing her deeply, the words trapped on his tongue. Dimitri felt that she understood.

‘I just want you.’ He pressed his forehead against hers. ‘You are truly all that I have ever wanted for myself, my whole life. I am so terrified that I will lose you. She said she will take you away from me…’ More of his tears fell onto her face, mixing with her own. ‘Please, beloved, please say you will not leave me! I forgive you! I would always forgive you anything. I would do anything for you, so please…’ That woman was right. All I do is demand and beg. Byleth is always giving, all I do is take… but I don’t know what I should do…

‘I won’t leave you,’ Byleth wept, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. ‘I love you, Dimitri. I never want to leave you. I promised you, that year we spent together, that nothing would keep me away. I still mean that with all of my soul. For as long as I exist, I will always come back for you.’

Byleth’s words, her tears, her kisses, and the sensation of her touch were balm to his torn and bleeding heart. It wasn’t like being at the academy anymore, where he and Sylvain would use their injuries to bask in their gorgeous professor’s concern. Sylvain was theatrical, whereas Dimitri learned quickly that the more he pretended to be fine, the more Byleth would be concerned about him. So that quickly became the devious young prince’s strategy.

But now, his ability to pretend had deserted him, and he poured out all his hurts and fears to her as his shaking hands ripped at her clothes. His grotesque destructive hands moved reverently over her skin, as he sought comfort in every soft sigh and tremor of her body that his affection elicited from her.

Her tears continued to fall slowly, reminding him that he was not the only one suffering. She too felt the pain of losing their child, compounded by the pain of others, whom she put before herself. Only now, with him, was her intense sadness finally leaking out of her.

Communication between them had always been a confluence of words and bodies, and when there were no words, their bodies yearned for each other even more. Their mouths met desperately, tears mixing on their tongues. Dimitri moved in her with long, slow thrusts, his passion for her so poignant, her every tearful cry of pleasure cut him with the keen edge of their love and want for each other. ‘I love you,’ she cried against his neck as he brought her to climax. Cradling her body in his arms, holding her hips tightly to him, he followed close behind her; caressing her back, kissing her throat damp with tears; as his seed spilled deep into her womb.

‘I love you too. I know I will follow you in every lifetime, beloved. My love for you is without end. I will not stop until I can be with you again, I promise. I am not giving you up in this lifetime either. Linhardt and Felix... none of us will stop until you are with us again.’

Byleth cried and cried, muffling her wails against his chest as he held her, ran his hands through her long hair, kissing the crown of her head. Voice shaking, he whispered earnestly, ‘One day, when the war is over… Will you… will you stay with me? Will you be my family? And one day, if you are willing, I hope… I hope we can try again. I hope you will be willing to have a child with me again.’

She sobbed, nodding her head over and over, looking up at him with so much love that he felt his heart could burst. He kissed her deeply, enveloping her in his warmth and pulling the blankets over them both.

When he woke up later, Byleth was gone, but the hope she had given him remained. 

He would create a world where his and Byleth’s future would no longer just be a dream.


	11. The Valley of Torment, Part 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Ferdinand set Dimitri on a better course.

// Ceres //

‘Meeting in the Valley of Torment seems an astute decision by Duke Fraldarius. In that land of oppressive heat, it is unlikely that we will be disturbed. It also means we will need to contend with the same harsh conditions, however.’ As if sensing her ignorance, Seteth turned to her and explained, ‘Ailell is bordered by the Kingdom’s Fraldarius and Galatea territories, and Daphnel in the Alliance. The fighting is contained within Fraldarius lands for now, while the other two territories maintain their neutrality. It should be a safe enough place to meet the Duke’s reinforcements.’

‘I see your angle, but don’t let your guard down.’ Yuri was another one like Felix who seemed to be constantly dissecting her. ‘Any movement about their borders, and the lords of the Kingdom will react swiftly. You would be wise not to underestimate them… Professor.’

Ferdinand unexpectedly spoke, looking directly at Dimitri. ‘The majority of the Kingdom is now under the jurisdiction of the Empire. We must be realistic, Your Highness. House Fraldarius sheltered me the past five years; I saw firsthand the state of the war there. Houses Fraldarius and Gautier are all that is left of the old Kingdom that continue to resist. They refuse to bend the knee out of loyalty to you. But even they will soon be crushed. It is only a matter of time.’ The chill in the room was arctic. ‘The Duke is magnanimous but he cannot afford to give us reinforcements. He must also know that he is sacrificing his own lands on the hope that we take Enbarr. I humbly propose that the best course of action would be to join with the Fraldarius family, and retake the Kingdom capital before we march for the Empire.’

A jolt of surprise coursed through Ceres as she felt Byleth’s presence in the room. She forced herself to look at Dimitri for the first time. He was staring down at the map, his expression stony and unreadable. His hands were fists on the table. She watched as Byleth’s smaller hand rested on his larger gloved one. ‘You know Ferdie is right,’ Byleth said quietly. ‘I know how badly you want to take Enbarr and end this war. Still, I hope you remember what I worked so hard to teach you, Your Highness.’ The smallest grimace of acknowledgement passed over Dimitri’s features. ‘At the very least, speak to Rodrigue and listen to what he has to say. Felix, I am counting on you to keep your father’s enabling to a minimum.’

Ceres watched in surprise as the corner of Felix’s mouth twitched in a smile. ' _Felix can hear her too?'_

‘Ceres…’ Her attention snapped to her mother’s face. Byleth’s eyes met hers. ‘A good general does not lead their allies to certain death. A good general also knows when to retreat and live to fight another day. Your grandfather taught me that.’ Byleth smiled and a wonderful, warm sense of reassurance flooded Ceres’s body. ‘Chart a course to victory.’

Dimitri and Felix’s eyes had flown up to look at Ceres too. Felix’s were stunned, then became quizzical. Dimitri’s gaze was black with hatred and his whole body was shaking. Byleth’s grip on his hand became tighter. His face turned slightly towards her. He closed his hateful, vicious blue eye, and his expression grew softer as Byleth kissed his face before she left. However, all the softness had disappeared again when his face turned back.

Ceres tried to hide that she was trembling with fear, trying to meet his gaze with all the coldness she could muster. She was gripped by the terrifying intuition that a fearsome beast was just barely restrained from pouncing and ripping her to shreds.

‘Your Highness?’ Gilbert pressed with concern. It was common for Dimitri to have these moments of distraction, where he seemed to be seeing and talking to things that were not there. ' _All this time, was he seeing Byleth? Talking to her?'_ A sudden rush of bitterness and jealousy stabbed at her chest. Why had _he_ deserved to have her at his side, all this time?

Dimitri lowered his gaze back to the map and grunted. The release of tension was felt throughout the entire room. When he eventually responded to the nervous Adrestian noble, his voice was calm. ‘I understand your concern and... I value your advice, Ferdinand. When we meet with Rodrigue, I will speak to him about what you said.’ With that, Dimitri turned and strode out of the war chamber without another word, leaving only stunned silence behind him.

‘For a moment there, Ferdie, I feared for your life!’ Caspar let out an explosive laugh. ‘But you actually got through to good ol’ Dimitri! Seems like he’s slowly returning to his old self.’

Ferdinand gulped and nodded. Words seemed to have escaped him for the moment.

‘Please don’t jinx it, Caspar.’ Linhardt yawned. ‘Well, now that His Highness is no longer present, may I also be excused? I don’t have much of value to contribute in terms of strategy…’ Without waiting for permission, Linhardt made his escape in Dimitri’s wake.

Later, Ceres sat in the dining hall with the young women from the Kingdom: Annette, Mercedes and Ingrid, whom she remembered from Byleth’s memories.

‘Professor, it is absolutely imperative that we regroup with the Kingdom forces that continue to resist. If we can do that, we can reclaim our capital without a doubt. I truly think the best strategy would be to focus on reclaiming the Kingdom, rather than continue on to Enbarr.’ The serious blonde falcon knight sighed heavily. ‘I feel His Highness’s hatred and anger so keenly, as if it were my own. The Empire cannot be allowed to exist any longer. They must pay for their crimes, both in the past and the present. For this reason, I find it difficult to oppose his wishes…’

‘I don’t know about everyone else, but I think heading directly to Enbarr seems like a good idea,’ gentle Mercedes said. ‘Defeating the Empire would be the fastest way to win the war, right? Finding Lady Rhea would be so much easier if we didn’t have to worry about the Empire too.’

‘But if we take back the Kingdom, we will recover our armies,’ Annette countered immediately. ‘If we get His Highness back on the throne, he could gather more troops from the territories that joined the Dukedom.’

Ceres began to see the wisdom of Ferdinand’s proposition in the war room.

‘But most importantly, our people are waiting for our help,’ Annette said, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Ceres uncomfortably put her arm around the small girl when she clung to Ceres’s side. ‘Please, Professor, you must speak to His Highness. The people in the Kingdom are waiting for his return. I am sure His Highness understands that. I don’t understand how he could give up his responsibility to them, to say he does not want his throne… He wasn’t always like this. He loved his country. He cared so much for its people, even the people of Duscur. What happened to him?’

* * *

_The Prince was consumed by his need for revenge. Even with Byleth's love suffusing her memories of Dimitri, Ceres felt it was impossible to reach him; impossible to fathom the workings of his mind, which he concealed behind a blandly charming facade. To her, Dimitri's most vivid expression of his interior world was at the Holy Tomb. During his brutal massacre of Edelgard’s soldiers._

_What sort of woman was Byleth Eisner? What had caused her to love someone like Dimitri? A boy who crumbled when they retreated behind doors. Needy, weak... pathetic. He performed the role of the golden prince, but the veneer was so thin, it was ludicrous no one but Felix recognised what lay behind it. A feral, monstrous creature, biding its time. Soon it would tear its way out of that false, perfect skin._

_The realisation gripped her that Byleth was the missing part. He needed her. Byleth was the one his tearful pleas and demands continually, desperately tried to reach, but Ceres did not know the answers. If answers to his madness did exist, perhaps only Byleth knew them... or perhaps, she was simply what held the madness at bay. Dimitri's dependence and addiction to Byleth made Ceres feel powerful._

_Who was Byleth? This woman whose skin she now wore, and whose life was now hers?_

_A woman who had such a profound hold over another human being. Someone who commanded the love and loyalty of all the people who flocked to her side._

_Ceres stared at the drawings pinned above the desk, trying to piece together a living, moving figure of Byleth from those bare lines, the way others responded to her, and Byleth’s vague self-image that resided within her memories._

_Byleth became an obsession. Ceres was a blank slate. Perhaps, Ceres could fit into this skin and make it her own. If Dimitri had been worthy in Byleth’s eyes, perhaps she would stay at his side like Byleth had. Still, his pitiful being made her wonder if he was just something that had made Byleth weak._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fan art by Twitter user @nashimiya000 is what I imagine Ignatz's sketch of Dimitri and Byleth looks like. It is the same one referenced for Bernie and Sylvain's romance serial, 'Professor of My Heart', in my other fic ♥


	12. The Valley of Torment 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The changing course.

// Ceres //

The march back to the monastery was quiet. She watched Dimitri ride at the head of the vanguard with House Blaiddyd’s Relic, Areadbhar, slung across his back. Once wielded by his father, it was now his.

The first time he killed with it, Dimitri’s voice held a note of regret. ‘So… a man once praised as a lion was reduced to a traitor’s lowly underling.’

Gwendal had looked up from where he kneeled before Dimitri. ‘I am, and always have been, a knight of House Rowe.’ Gwendal smiled then, before lowering his head again. ‘So I have found a place to die… Young ones, I thank you.’ Then Areadbhar came down, and he crumpled, his head falling from his shoulders.

‘It is the way of knights to follow their liege’s orders without question. Lord Gwendal was a good knight,’ Gilbert said solemnly.

Ceres saw Felix’s knuckles whiten on the hilt of his sword, then a scoff of bitter derision followed. ‘And now he is just a corpse. Let’s go.’

_Today, it was her side that Byleth fought at. Their forces decimated the knights and archers on the large plateau across the way, preventing them from circling around to cut off Dimitri, Felix and Bernadetta._

_A scream of anguish. ‘DIMITRI!’ Like a rumble of thunder, before the sharp, piercing crack of lightning. Like an avalanche, screams began to fill the valley. ‘Sothis, Sothis!!!’ The Goddess did not answer. Then Byleth turned to her, eyes filled with a terrible desperation as she wept inconsolably. ‘Dimitri... Dimitri is dead... please please save him! Please don't let him die! Please bring him back to me! ’_

_...Dimitri on his knees... a swarm of horsemen rode over him, lance after lance piercing his breast. She thought she saw him whisper Byleth's name through the blood erupting from his mouth... before his life drained away with it. Byleth was too late..._

_Ceres rewound time._

Who were they?

Why did Byleth love Dimitri so much, she even returned from death to be at his side? What did it mean that Dimitri loved Byleth so much, she was his last thought before he died?

Ceres realised she was crying.

// Felix //

During the night march, Marianne rode up to walk beside him in the vanguard. Felix waited, mildly curious, while she seemed to summon the necessary courage to speak to him. ‘I remembered…’

Felix decided to help her out. ‘I assume you are talking about the legend you mentioned in the library?’

Marianne nodded and smiled at him in relief. Even her stutter died away. ‘Yes, the legend… it said that the valley was born from the wrath of the Goddess. A great forest once used to stand there… then a pillar of light descended from the heavens and it was all burned away.’

That was unexpected. Felix wondered if the impish Sothis of Byleth’s descriptions could really have been responsible for something like that. ‘Why did she do that?’

Gilbert overheard them and his deep rumbling voice intoned, ‘Many believe it was an act of her judgement, passed on humanity for its corruption. The legends spread the belief in a place of torment, which souls must pass through on the way to the next world. Purgatory… where one’s sins will be burned away in the flames of purification.’

‘P-P-Purgatory… There is nothing like that recorded in any of the scriptures,’ Marianne whispered to Felix.

‘Don’t worry, it sounds fake,’ Felix scoffed under his breath.

For an old man, Gilbert had uncannily sharp hearing. The weight of his sigh that followed was palpable in the night air. ‘And yet, those who struggle to face their own sins have no choice but to cling to the idea…’

_‘Dreaaaam team!’ Hilda sang as she flew overhead to join Rodrigue, which made a faint smile cross Felix's face. ‘RODRIGUE!!!’ her delighted shriek carried back to him, and Felix heard his father’s responding laugh and call of greeting. The frivolous pair got along far too well together. Frankly, it was irritating._

_A crow of delight sounded above them as Constance unleashed another lethal Bolting spell, killing the enemy’s lone healer. A barrage of cheers and praise filled the valley as she soared back to safety._

_All celebration was cut short when Hilda's scream echoed through the canyon. The ambushing force spilled from a hidden passage in the rocks, flanking the Fraldarius Knights. With a curse, Dimitri dove headfirst into the fray, racing to Rodrigue’s side. Felix followed, his heart suddenly full of fear._

‘Fe?’ Hilda turned her head on the pillow to face him.

‘Hm?’ Felix asked sleepily.

‘You’re going to think I sound totally crazy, but… In Ailell, when we routed the ambush that was waiting for Rodrigue, I saw something I just can’t explain. I was the first to reach that passage, I’m sure of it. But there were already dead soldiers everywhere. And… they were still being attacked, falling dead from their horses... but I couldn’t see anyone else there. Then some of the soldiers began fighting each other… I’ve just been thinking and thinking about it, but it totally doesn’t make sense.’

He should have realised that Hilda would notice from her vantage point. _What the hell do I say now?!_

‘I have something to tell you…’

‘I _totally_ knew something was odd about the Professor!!!’

‘You totally didn’t.’ Felix rolled his eyes at her. ‘Now, can you please go to sleep?’

// Ceres //

Dimitri was foul tempered, but at least he was there. Ceres invited everyone to sit, which Dimitri did after a momentary pause. Felix said he preferred to stand. Byleth stood behind Dimitri with her arms around his shoulders. His face was so different when she was there. Ceres nearly snorted with laughter when Byleth licked Dimitri’s ear, making him jump and blush. Seteth looked at the prince oddly. Byleth was just 'helping Dimitri relax'… if her teasing could really be called relaxing. All the same, it had made Dimitri appear less antagonistic by the time the strategy meeting began.

‘Thank you for coming,’ Ceres said, trying to swallow the hint of nervousness in her voice. Byleth was there, and Ceres fervently wished to impress her, so stood taller and attempted to speak with more self-assurance. ‘It is from this point that the war effort truly begins. I believe we must make some changes to the way things were done until now. I would like your help to establish better systems of communication and division of responsibilities. The few of you here are the ones I believe will work best together, and accomplish what needs to be done.’

‘Excellently put, Professor!’ Ferdinand said encouragingly.

Ceres felt rather fond of Byleth’s ‘noblest of nobles’. Ferdinand was always full of kind and supportive words, even if they were empty praise at times. Byleth had made the observation that Ferdinand was a much wiser young man than before.

‘Hilda, can I assign you a greater portion of the organisational duties? I believe that is a strength of yours, and it will be a crucial role in the months to come.’

‘Ugh Professorrrrrr, that’s sooo much work! But I’ll do it for you, I guess!’

‘Ferdinand and Felix, I hoped the two of you would accept the roles of my lead strategists and advisors.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders in silent acknowledgement.

‘Professor, I— it would be my honour,’ Ferdinand spluttered. Gilbert refused to involve the Adrestian noble in strategy meetings, and rarely allowed him the opportunity to speak in the war chamber.

‘If not for the respect owed to his seniority and experience, Gilbert and his narrow-mindedness would have no place at my war table. You should make sure he is not allowed such authority at the war table henceforth,’ Byleth had advised her. ‘I trust Ferdie implicitly. His mind will be extremely valuable to you. I counted on him, Felix and Linhardt during strategy sessions. The other two pretend to be generally useless, but they are my best advisors. Lin despises being organised though, so perhaps leave him to his own devices for the moment.’

Ceres exhaled slowly. ‘Your Highness, the rest depends on your decision. Where would you command us to march next?’

His burning blue gaze was fixed on the edge of Seteth’s desk. Byleth’s supportive hand lay on his shoulder.

‘Fhirdiad.’

// Dimitri //

The ghosts had changed since the arrival of Byleth and Sothis. The two of them protected his mind, just as they protected his body. Instead of their burnt, unrecognisable corpses, he became able to see his family’s faces again.

When Dimitri decided to return home, he felt certain he saw his father smile.


	13. Displacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sothis and the secret circle put their heads together. A memory of the past.

_Felix_

‘Byleth is growing attached to it. Why does she need to get so close?’ Dimitri paced the Shadow Library furiously. ‘That wretched _thing_ is worming its way into Byleth’s heart… just like Edelgard…’ Felix, Hilda and Marianne watched Dimitri uneasily as he paced back and forth, back and forth. Linhardt continued his reading. Sothis floated next to him, reading over his shoulder.

Marianne had instantly become part of the secret circle when she realised she could hear Byleth and Sothis. The experience of being answered by the Goddess, whom Marianne had spent her whole life praying to, stunned her into complete silence for a few days. However, she returned with a firm resolve: Marianne would do anything to save Byleth, just as her dear professor had saved her so many times.

‘Sothis, why can’t you do something??’ They had lost count of the times Dimitri has asked this question.

‘Well, we know what happened the last time she tried to do something. Oh, I’m not blaming you, Sothis,’ Linhardt said, putting down his book and pulling some paper and a quill towards him on the desk. Sothis was extremely affronted, then subdued by Linhardt’s words.

‘Now I would like to ask you about the conditions of your coexistence with Byleth and Ceres… Marianne, could you please act as our medium?’

‘When Ceres was asleep, Byleth and I still had access to my power. Now it is _her_ consciousness that controls it. I have only the occasional fragment of it allowed to me. Byleth and I never got to finish creating our new species of toad, which is another source of displeasure entirely! We can no longer travel as far… hmm, traverse space and time might be a better description. We are now mostly rooted in the proximity of Ceres’s physical location… We are shackled to this mundane world!!!’

‘That is fascinating. Could it be that while Ceres’s consciousness was dormant, your power was untethered to the physical body? After all, you believed you relinquished your power entirely, so you should not have been able to access it anymore. So your power must only be conditionally linked to Ceres’s consciousness… Does your power exist as a separate entity on its own?? And there is still the question of how _you_ ended up in the crest stone, Sothis…’

‘…Are you expecting me to answer you, O curious one?’

‘Ah, I guess not.’

‘Simply put, Byleth and I used to be free to do as we pleased! Well, _I_ was… mostly… as long as I didn’t alter anything too much. Byleth was lost for a time. She had to rest and heal her mind from the trauma…’

‘Trauma?’ Dimitri interrupted, halting his restless pacing. Linhardt looked up from his writing as well.

Sothis sighed. ‘During our merging, my power was not transferred to Byleth. I think I detached _myself_ from it in my effort to join our souls. But that did not make the power Byleth’s. Perhaps because she was human, she could not use it after all… and Ceres was created to take my place…?’

Felix jumped in. ‘If our crest stone theory is correct, your power probably remained in the stone, while you managed to leave its confines. If the crest stone remained intact, then in order to control your power, Byleth would have needed to enter it instead. But she couldn’t… Rhea believed that Sothis would displace Byleth’s consciousness and take control of her body.’ Felix gritted his teeth. ‘Ceres had Byleth’s memories and took on her persona, so Rhea didn’t realise that Byleth _had_ been displaced. Rhea was right all along.’

Everyone was silent, distinctly unsettled by the implications resurfacing from the past.

‘Crest stones change crestless humans into demonic beasts. However, Byleth’s blood held the same crest as the crest stone. Either she already inherited it from Sitri, or it was a result of what Rhea did when she implanted the stone. Either way, Byleth’s body satisfied the conditions needed to change into a form that could wield Sothis’s power,’ Linhardt muttered almost to himself. ‘Ceres must have manifested inside the crest stone. Sothis’s actions caused the crest stone to supersede Byleth’s consciousness and take control of her body; so that Ceres could wield the power to cut her way out of Zahras.’

‘So the Professor’s body might not even be human anymore?’ Hilda asked, wide-eyed.

‘We won’t know without a physical exam. But it would be boring if all the transformation did was change the colour of her hair and eyes…’ Linhardt said with a yawn. It was definitely time for a nap.

‘I totally agree! To tell the truth, I thought it looked pretty bad…’ Hilda made a face. ‘It is _not_ a good colour. If anyone could pull it off, it was the Professor. But I _really_ missed her old hair and eyes!’

‘Surely her body underwent other physiological changes. I am not sure how I could ask to perform an exam without arousing Ceres’s suspicion. Especially since it is obvious His Highness is constantly plotting to murder her…’ Linhardt trailed off with a glance at Dimitri.

Marianne spoke up unexpectedly. ‘P-P-Professor Hanneman and Professor Manuela performed a physical exam on Professor Byleth, after His Highness carried her back from the S-Sealed Forest. Oh, um, I-I guess she was Ceres then. I know because Professor Manuela mentioned it… um, recently…’

Felix saw Dimitri’s jaw clench in anger as they all simultaneously realised when Manuela would have had occasion to mention something like that.

‘I will speak to Professor Hanneman,’ Linhardt said, furiously scribbling notes. ‘If we are lucky, the exam records may have survived in his office. This is excellent news! Thank you, Marianne!’

‘We know who else has hair and eyes like Professor Byleth,’ Hilda piped up brightly. ‘Lady Rhea. And though it is a different shade, Seteth and Flayn have similar appearances. Do you remember how excited Flayn was when the Professor changed? And then how odd Flayn acted the day we went to the Holy Mausoleum? Now that I think about it again, that was totally weird!’

Linhardt nodded. ’Flayn and Seteth’s evasiveness about their past is curious. I had some suspicions since Flayn was kidnapped by the Death Knight, and her blood was stolen. Byleth told me Seteth said it was because her blood was very rare. I thought he was referring to her crest, at first. She has a Major Crest of Cethleann, but what makes it rarer than any other Major Crest? It doesn’t explain everything.’

‘I guess that means more people we need to get answers from,’ Felix sighed.

_Dimitri_

‘What did you mean when you said Byleth suffered from trauma?’ Dimitri asked Sothis, the agitation sitting in the pit of his stomach was so intense, it made him want to vomit.

‘The clever ones put into words what was in my thoughts. When Ceres took over Byleth’s body, I believe Byleth’s consciousness was forced out of the space it occupied. She and I remained tethered to her body somehow, long enough for us to leave that place together… thankfully, I did not accidentally detach us completely, or…’ Sothis’s face turned grey. ‘If that had happened, she and I might have been left behind in the darkness.’

She continued, her face painted with guilt and grief. ‘I could not communicate with Byleth anymore. I thought it was simply the result of merging with her soul. I thought I would lose my separate sense of self. To my surprise, I did not. I simply could not speak with her anymore. Because we were disconnected, I did not realise that she was no longer Byleth. Most of that time, I slept and I dreamed…’

‘I regained my full consciousness once Ceres went into the healing sleep. Then I became able to travel through space as before. That was when I started to sense and hear Byleth again. I followed that thread of connection and I found her. She had been… floating, unable to control where she went. I was older and had existed in this way for a long time, so I was able to do so instinctually. But she entered this place without knowing how to… be. I used my power to create a safe space and placed her within it, so she would not be lost again.’ She met Dimitri’s eyes. ‘That is where I sent you when you visited her.’

‘The act of being… torn from her mind, and the experience of being lost and unable to ground herself… It was traumatic and affected Byleth deeply. Her distress over abandoning you was immense too. She rested all those years to heal her mind. At least, now we are in the same place again and we can be together.’ Sothis smiled.

Dimitri cried so often lately. He felt impossibly fragile, unable to control when his tears needed release. Byleth had suffered so much pain that she had not even told him about. The thought of her so close to being trapped in the darkness of Zahras made him sob harder. The cruel fate that Solon had so gleefully described had nearly come true.

In spite of Sothis’s mistake, he remained grateful to her for recovering Byleth and keeping her safe. Dimitri was grateful that she made it possible for him to be reunited with Byleth, and finally learn the truth. The more they uncovered, the stronger the reality of Byleth’s resurrection became.

But the insidious creature that had ripped Byleth out, invaded her body and mind, caused Byleth so much suffering, and taken away their baby… His hatred for it only grew more intense. He loved Byleth, but she was wrong about this. She was wrong to pity the creature and believe in its innocence… to treat it as if it was a soul that could be redeemed.

It was happening all over again. His heart twisted with miserable jealousy inside his chest. Dimitri knew that Byleth still held on to her closeness and attachment to Edelgard. Byleth continued to believe there was a way to save her.

As soon as they figured out how to do so, he would destroy the parasite without a shred of mercy. He was already a monster. Even if this creature had a soul, what was one more soul to the pyre of his dead? He was a monster, and he did not deserve her love, but he would do anything for his beloved Byleth to return to him. Dimitri would cast anyone in his way into the eternal flames without remorse.

*:·ﾟ✧

_‘Teacher… When I leave here one day, will you come with me? I spoke once before of recruiting you for the Empire. I take that back. Now I just wish for your help… and for you to stay at my side.’_

_Edelgard’s hair was luminescent in the moonlight. They sat side by side on the end of the pier, the edges of their hands gently overlapping on the worn, splintering boards._

_‘I… don’t think I can. I could not bear to leave my father alone. I will follow him where he goes. And…’_

_‘I understand. Dimitri is also asking you to make a choice. I know he is the one you will choose… but I still keep hoping you will choose me, my teacher. I keep wishing… I want to be the one who walks with you.’_

_There was a deep, indescribably sad ache inside Byleth that night. Their fingers intertwined and their foreheads leaned against each other’s as tears fell one by one, and then in rivers, from Edelgard’s desolate violet eyes._

_‘I am so sorry, I wish… Perhaps, in another lifetime… El.’_


	14. Interlude ~ The Lone Wolf and the Magical☆Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda and Felix's reunion.

Naturally, when Hilda arrived from the Alliance, she was very upset with Felix about his years of silence. More upset than Felix had expected.

When the monastery fell, they had been separated. By the time Felix and Dimitri reunited with the Lions returning to the Kingdom, Hilda had already left for the Alliance. She had sent him a lettera few months later, and they had exchanged a handful of letters over the next three years. Then, caught up in the fighting in Fraldarius territory, searching for Dimitri, and preparing to return to Garreg Mach for the Blue Lions’ reunion, Felix had neglected to write for two years. Even though Hilda sent him two letters in that time… expressing worry for his safety… But he knew he was probably going to see her soon. He could just talk to her then.

Felix had never told her his feelings. There had been nothing romantic about their friendship, unless Hilda’s constant teasing and flirtation counted… but Felix was quite certain it was how she spoke to everyone. She had kissed him once, when he won a prize fight during his and Byleth’s foray into the underground fist fighting scene… but Felix was sure that meant nothing to her.

Not to mention, Felix had known Ingrid had feelings for Hilda. ‘Bros before hoes,’ Sylvain had intoned, when the three of them made their childhood pact to never steal the objects of each other’s affections. Felix did not break pacts of friendship.

So he continued to push down his feelings, the thrill of watching her fight, his secret enjoyment of her playful company and exuberant affection, his admiration for how strong and skilled and tough she was, in spite of her pretences.

He was certain she would never be interested in him, anyway. He was not exactly charming like Sylvain or Ferdinand, and refused to satisfy her whims more often than he gave in.

It was impossible that Hilda would have returned his feelings.

Unsure how to interpret Hilda’s emotions, and being in the habit of deflecting his own, Felix reverted to the sarcastic banter of their academy days. ‘Stop crying, Goneril,’ he said, rolling his eyes. ‘It’s not like we were engaged or something.’

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Hilda started crying even harder, leapt on him with a shriek and nearly throttled him to death. Then she ran crying to the dormitories, and Felix followed, complaining about his sore neck, but also completely confused and wanting to apologise.

Before he knew what was happening, he was pulled into her room.

‘I really am sorry…’ Felix managed to say, before he was pushed back onto her bed. And then the pink-haired, axe-wielding magical girl of his dreams was straddling his hips and he stared up at her breathlessly.

‘You _should_ be sorry, Fe!!! You clearly don’t realise how worried and miserable I was when you didn’t write back for TWO YEARS. I knew you wouldn’t be killed that easily, but it was totally the worst!’

‘I was _busy_ , Goneril. Do you know what that word means?’

‘So busy you couldn’t scribble a line that said “I am safe”???’

‘…’ She was right. He could probably have managed that.

‘All you Kingdom boys are jerks… except Rodrigue! He’s a total sweetie!’

‘If you wanted my father, why didn’t you write to HIM?!’ Felix snapped, oddly jealous of his useless whimsical father. No wonder Rodrigue and Hilda got along so well; they were both ridiculous.

‘Because I want _you_ , Felix Fraldarius!!!’

‘Oh…’ Felix froze. _Oh_ … ‘Wait, WHAT??!!’

‘…Why exactly do you think I’m sitting on your crotch right now?’

‘…My brain hadn’t caught up to that part yet! You were strangling me a few minutes ago! What the fuck, Goneril?!’

‘Stop being so dramatic!’

‘I thought I was going to die!!!’

Hilda giggled and bent down to kiss his cheek. ‘Has your brain caught up yet?’

‘Not yet,’ Felix admitted, though without realising it, his hands had moved up to caress her thighs. ‘Can I ask… since when?’ He was still not sure how it had turned out like this.

‘Hmmm.’ Hilda settled herself comfortably on his hips. He was definitely starting to notice the warmth and weight of her on his groin now, which was starting to respond… ‘Ever since I joined the Blue Lions! You were just soooo cute, Fe!!! So grumpy and sexy and sweet and adorable~ I wanted you alllll over me! But you were wayyy too busy training, and you were always pushing me away!’

‘…I’m sorry.’

‘Good! I was totally disappointed my charms didn’t work on you. I really cared about you too. I was so glad we became friends. I thought about you a lot the past five years, Fe. But I guess I’m not really your type, huh?’ Hilda looked sad, and Felix’s heart clenched painfully.

‘I didn’t say that.’

It was Hilda’s turn to look surprised. Her face was still streaked with tears. Felix sighed and reached up to cup her face with his hands, his thumbs wiping the tears from her cheeks.

‘I thought about you too,’ he said finally. ‘And I cared about you. I might have been in love with you… a little… maybe. Even though you drive me up the wall, Goneril! Why the fuck am I saying all these things??’

‘You were in love with me?’

‘Ugh, yes. If you tease me, I swear I’m tossing you on your head!’

‘Why didn’t you tell meeeeee???’

‘…Would it have changed anything? I didn’t think you felt anything for me, anyway. What was the point?’

Hilda just looked at him, mulling his words over in her head. ‘I guess with everything that happened, you’re right… It probably wouldn’t have changed anything.’ But it was Hilda, and one of the things he liked best about her was how she always bounced back from anything. ‘But we’re together again now… Would you like things to change?’

Felix’s breath caught in his throat. His heart felt strangely stripped bare underneath her gaze and all that he was left with were his most honest feelings. ‘Yes.’

Her smile was glorious. ‘So can I kiss you now?’

Felix nodded eagerly, and then her lips were on his. He was being kissed by Hilda Valentine Goneril… just like his younger self had dreamed. It felt wonderful. So wonderful that he got impatient, as usual. He twisted his hands into her hair, holding her face to his, and kissed her hard, pulling at her bottom lip with his teeth. Her mouth parted for him with a gasp and their tongues touched, gently at first, and then his need to consume her overwhelmed him again.

When she finally pulled away, gasping for air, her eyes were slightly glazed over and her lips completely bare of her lipstick, deep pink and swollen from the force of his kisses.

‘That was a much nicer welcome,’ she said, sitting up and tossing her hair over her shoulders. ‘So nice that I feel like rewarding you. Be sweet and undress for me, pleaaaase!’

And then he was naked, pushed back against the pillows on her bed, watching breathlessly as a very naked magical girl ran her pretty pink tongue up his cock.

‘ _Fuck_ , Goneril!’

‘Mmm, did you like that, Fe?’

‘…Yes.’

‘Hm, I didn’t really hear you.’ With a mischievous expression, she started sucking on his testicles.

‘ _Holy fuck_! Yes, yes I liked it. You’re amazing, so wonderful, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen… was that enough??’

‘For now, I guess! Let me blow your mind now, baby.’

She proceeded to do just that. Felix struggled to keep his moans quiet as her head started bobbing up and down on his cock. Her tongue was doing something maddening; the sensations were overwhelming. He gathered her hair and held it off her face, watching her start to take him deeper into her throat. It felt amazing. He started pushing her head down onto him, moaning unrestrainedly, fucking her mouth. Her fingernails were digging into his thighs, her gorgeous lips were spread around his cock.

Hilda raised her wide, bright eyes to look at him as he thrust deep into her throat, and it was too much. Head thrown back against the pillows, holding her face to his hips, he spilled his hot seed deep inside her throat. She gasped and swallowed, letting him ride out his orgasm in her mouth, then pulled away. She was slightly dizzy from lack of air.

‘I’m so sorry, Hilda,’ he pulled her up onto his chest, stroking her back, and caressing her face. He kissed the crown of her head. ‘I’m so sorry, I should have stopped, I got carried away…’ He was upset, raising her head to look at her face.

She giggled breathily at his concern. ‘You are really sweet. I’m fine! I would have bitten you if I wanted you to stop!’

She definitely would have, Felix knew. He smothered her face with kisses, full of affection for her.

‘I really want you inside me now though. Pleaaaase fuck me, Fe! Have your way with my body! Toss me around! Have me any way you want! Call me nasty names! I want you so fucking bad!!! I want you to fuck me so hard, the entire monastery will hear my screams, ‘kay? I’ll be screaming your name, of course!’

Felix burst into helpless laughter. ‘You’re ridiculous!’ He pushed her up and lifted her onto his cock. She was so slick and wet. Their moans mingled together as she slid slowly down onto him. She was so beautiful. He drank in her small, lithe body; her slender waist and the curve of her hips, the pink folds of her pussy stretching around his cock. He grabbed her breasts and squeezed hard, digging his nails into the soft flesh. Feeling her nipples harden against his palms was extremely satisfying. Then he started fucking up into her, rocking her against his cock.

She certainly wasn’t joking about screaming. But he absolutely loved it. He leaned up, massaging her breasts, sucking on one of her sensitive nipples, and then pulled at it with his teeth. That made her screech so loudly, it made his ears ring.

‘Fucking hell! That wasn’t a scream, that was a death knell!’

Her peals of laughter made her clench rhythmically on his cock and Felix moaned delightedly, watching her pleasure play out across her face. He managed to flip her onto her back, still keeping them joined, and she gasped from surprise and excitement as she hit the pillows.

Pulling her legs up onto his shoulders, he started fucking her hard and fast. She kept screaming and whimpering the whole time, then she came hard, squirting on his cock, digging her toes into his back as her orgasm made her body arch into his. ‘Oh my gosh, Fe, oh my gosh oh my gosh, please don’t stop!’

Felix bit his tongue to stop himself from coming, and tasted blood his mouth. He was a master of his body. He would not allow himself pleasure until Hilda was a blissed out mess in his arms. Yes, he could totally do it.

‘Gosh, baby, you feel sooooo good! Mmm I love your cock, Fe, it’s sooo perfect inside me. I love it so muchhh! FUCK ME HARDER BABY, I CAN TAKE IT!!!! I LOVE YOUR BIG HARD COCK!!!’

‘Shut the fuck up, Goneril!!! Why are you so embarrassing???’

‘Mmm, you love it! Don’t you, baby? Oh, FELIX!!!’

He pulled her into his arms, and pushed her up against the wall, holding her thighs in a hard grip. He fucked her roughly. Her breasts bounced madly. Grinning, he managed to capture a nipple in his mouth, twirling his tongue around it. She orgasmed with a long, drawn-out scream, nearly weeping with pleasure when he continued fucking her.

Felix was so close. He buried his face in her breasts, kissing and sucking on the soft flesh. ‘You are so beautiful. I’ve wanted you for so long…’

‘I’m all yours, Fe. Stay inside me foreverrr, mmm _ohhhh Goddess that feels amazing_ , fuck me fuck me fuck me fill me with cute angry Fraldarius babies mmmm yeah _fuck_ I love you, Fe! Please please please come inside me, I want to feel your hot cum inside meeee! I want to have your babiessss mmmm you are sososososo perfect, Fe! I love you so much!!! Make me yours, baby! Take me back to the Kingdom so we can have sex in the snow! Oooohhhh, Rodrigue will be _such_ a cute grandfatherrrrr. I LOVE YOU!!!’

His orgasm was like an explosion. Felix slammed into Hilda so hard as he came that she banged her head against the wall. He was choking with laughter, even as he moaned from pleasure, filling her with hot squirts of his seed. He stayed inside her, kissing her breasts while he pushed his fingers into her mouth then used her saliva to lubricate her clitoris. He moved back slightly so he could watch her face.

She was such a breathtaking sight. Her face was flushed and painted with an expression of adoration and lust. Her long-lashed eyes were half-lidded with pleasure. Her perfect breasts heaved as she moaned and writhed against the wall. He watched his seed dripping out of her with a mixture of satisfaction and possessiveness.

He managed to bring her to climax twice more with his fingers, before both their bodies turned to jelly. They collapsed together, sharing sweet long kisses, and caressing each other’s faces.

‘I’m… not completely sure how to respond to all the things you said,’ Felix whispered, kissing her forehead and pulling her to his chest.

‘That’s totally ok, Fe! You don’t have to say anything right now, if you don’t want to.’

‘You are really wonderful. I’m sorry I made you cry. I’m sorry I didn’t write. I really am sorry for not treating you better. I am a fool…’

‘Well, I expect to be worshipped and treated as the goddess I am from now on!!!’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…Um, by the way… I love you too.’

‘AWWWW, FE!!!’


	15. Corruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea party conversation topics: Dissent, the Western Church, the Insurrection of the Seven, creepy mages / Ferdinand and Hilda throw a tea party for Rodrigue.

_Felix_

Ferdinand and Hilda held a tea party for Rodrigue before he returned to the Kingdom. Hilda tracked down and bodily dragged Felix along. Ingrid, Sylvain and Linhardt were the others in attendance. Dimitri seemed to be in a bad mood, so they had left him alone.

For a while, topics of conversation were light and nostalgic. Before long, they ended up talking about violence, battle and war again. Rodrigue explained that the Kingdom armies lacked a significant contingent of mages, compared to the Adrestian Empire where magic use in battle was far more prevalent. The School of Sorcery in Fhirdiad was comprised mostly of scholars and researchers; their purpose was ‘innovation and education’, not training mages for battle. Now, the armies Cornelia deployed to engage the Fraldarius and Gautier forces consisted of several battalions of Imperial mages, which left the resistance at a significant disadvantage.

‘And it is not just the Imperial mages,’ Rodrigue told them. ‘They have a number of powerful dark mages in their midst. According to our spies in the capital, they do not belong to the Imperial army. We believe they are linked to a strange faction that surfaced in the Empire over 20 years ago, and later appeared in the western Kingdom.’

‘Our class was deployed to several incidents in the western Kingdom five years ago,’ Ingrid said. ‘There were dark mages present every time. So this faction infiltrated the Western Church… but to what end? The Bishop and Vice-Bishop were both revealed to be practicing dark magic when the Knights of Seiros investigated their headquarters. To think that the corruption had even reached the highest ranking Church officials in the Kingdom…’

‘The Western Church attempted to steal the Sword of the Creator too,’ Felix added. It somehow seemed important to remind everyone that the theft of a LEGENDARY sword was connected.

‘You’re right, Fe! I don’t know, it all feels sooo disconnected…’ Hilda said. Felix sighed heavily. Linhardt promptly fell asleep.

‘The Western Church instigated the Gaspard uprising five years ago. They manipulated Lord Lonato’s personal grievance to turn him against the Crown and the Archbishop,’ Sylvain said. ‘The Western Church was the perfect medium for propaganda, really. They held special authority and rights in the Kingdom. They were essentially an independent legal entity. And the reach of their influence was long.’

‘If I remember my studies on Kingdom history, this was a result of King Loog’s agreement with the Church, in return for its support in the Kingdom’s bid for independence from the Empire. Is that correct?’ Ferdinand asked. Rodrigue nodded approvingly.

‘Yeah, that’s it. With their influence, and ability to function largely outside the jurisdiction of Kingdom laws, the Western Church was able to sow dissension and promote Imperialist sympathies through their diocese. When the time came, the subverted western nobles joined Cornelia’s coup, then allowed Edelgard to invade from the west,’ Sylvain sighed. ‘This plan must go back years…’

‘Luckily, their indoctrination failed to reach the eastern Kingdom. Geographical distance would have been a factor. But they would also have needed to contend with the eastern nobility’s closer ties and longer histories of loyalty to House Blaiddyd. The east chose to rebel against the rule of a tyrant, even without a Blaiddyd heir to rally behind at the time. That is true nobility!’ Ferdinand was extremely touched and inspired.

‘I bet they were all just scared of Rodrigue!!! THE SHIEEEELD OF FAERGHUS!!!’ Hilda shrieked.

Felix snorted, and Rodrigue chuckled good-humouredly. Ferdinand nodded in fervent agreement with Hilda. They were Rodrigue’s greatest fans.

‘I just remembered something Claude told me about Lysithea von Ordelia! Rodrigue, she was one of the girls in the Golden Deer class,’ Hilda explained. ‘After House Hrym’s rebellion was crushed, Emperor Ionius IX had all the leading members of the Ordelia family executed for helping Hrym. Claude said the Alliance decided to let it happen, which is _totally_ crazy! Imperial officials arrived and took control of Ordelia. Lysithea said they brought creepy mages with them…’

Ferdinand nodded regretfully. ‘Ordelia is only separated from the Empire by the Airmid River. The Leicester Roundtable chose to sacrifice a minor house with a border territory, rather than enter a hostile situation that involved the Imperial Army. The Emperor showed no mercy to House Hrym. The entire family was executed and their main bloodline was completely eradicated. They only spared an adopted heir who was installed as a puppet ruler. My father, the former Prime Minister, was granted true governance over Hrym. These events ultimately led to the Insurrection of the Seven in 1171.’

‘I know I was the one who brought it up, but why did House Hrym start a rebellion?’ Hilda asked, trying unsuccessfully to feed Felix a bite of shortbread. Felix kept his mouth tightly shut. ‘And what happened during the Insurrection of the Seven? Sometimes the Alliance seems sooo far away from everything. I wonder why nothing ever happens around there…’

‘Probably because the Alliance nobles can never agree on anything, so nothing actually gets done at the Roundtable,’ Felix said sarcastically. ‘Actually, that strategy sounds better the more I think about it…’

‘Ionius IX was about to institute a political reform that would centralise power in the Imperial Throne,’ Ferdinand continued speaking. ‘The majority of the Imperial nobility were in opposition. House Hrym revolted and tried to defect to the Alliance with House Ordelia’s aid.’

‘Um, what exactly does centralising power mean?’ Hilda sighed. ‘This is so totally complicated!’

‘In simple terms, power centralisation indicates a government’s shift towards autocracy,’ Ferdinand explained helpfully. ‘In a republic like the Alliance, decisions that affect the nation can only be made with majority support at the Roundtable. With centralisation of power, a single party’s monopoly of authority and resources occurs, thus the number of bureaucratic steps required in political decision-making are dramatically reduced…’

‘…Ferdie, that is not a simple explanation at all!!!’

Felix decided to interrupt Ferdinand’s lengthy treatise on government. ‘Basically, Ionius IX wanted a law that said he and future Emperors could do what they wanted when they wanted. And they wouldn’t have to listen to anyone if they didn’t feel like it. Case in point: Edelgard.’

Linhardt had woken up briefly to partake of some shortbread. ‘Three of us who hail from the Empire belong to the seven “great” noble families. Bernadetta’s father, Count Varley, Ferdinand’s father, Duke Aegir, and my father, Count Hevring, were among the seven nobles who led the Insurrection. They stripped the Emperor of most of his power, and divided it amongst themselves.’

‘Ionius IX was a tyrant,’ Ferdinand said firmly. ‘His brutal subjugation of House Hrym revealed the dangers of such a ruler gaining total control over the Empire. He eliminated the entire bloodline of a house that opposed him. I grant that my father and his ministers may not have been entirely selfless… But they had cause to act, and their methods at least were more noble. No blood was shed during the Insurrection.’

‘In other words, the Imperial nobility maintained their general corruption, but it was probably better than a mad, self-righteous mass murderer making all the decisions,’ Felix said irritably. ‘Again, case in point: Edelgard. Except she isn’t satisfied with just making decisions for the Empire. She wants to make decisions for all of Fódlan, because she has one massive fucking ego! I read her manifesto, and it is full of shit. Alright, I’m done.’

‘Wow, that was super intense, Fe! But that totally makes sense!!!’ Hilda pinched his cheeks.

‘STOP DOING THAT!!!!’

‘I would very much like to converse with you on Edelgard’s manifesto one day, my dear Felix!’ Ferdinand exclaimed eagerly.

‘…Alright.’

‘Fe, you always indulge Ferdinand. Why don’t you do the same for me???’ Sylvain asked huffily.

Felix ignored him.

*:·ﾟ✧

The next day, Rodrigue and Ingrid departed for Fraldarius with half of the Lions in tow. Mercedes and Annette wanted to lend their aid to the resistance efforts, and took along their battalions of healers and fire mages. Sylvain and the Lance of Ruin would join with the Gautier forces, and put his counter-propaganda strategies into action. Bernie had to be brave and go along; she might have to help in the fighting occasionally, but the rest of the time, she would be working on a Top Secret Project. A cosy room was being prepared for her in the Fraldarius family manor.

Ashe and Caspar decided to join too. There would be more fighting in the Kingdom, and Caspar was getting bored at the monastery.

The monastery was suddenly very quiet. Everyone was astounded by the difference Caspar and Annette’s absence made… This left only Felix, Linhardt, Dimitri, Hilda, Marianne and Ferdinand… Hilda, Felix and Ferdinand’s new positions of authority required them to stay behind with Ceres. They others had successfully contrived for the circle of scholars to remain together at the monastery, so they could continue their research. They would all accompany Dimitri to the Kingdom at the end of the month, after the final strategies and preparations were made.

It had been a truth well known at the Officers Academy that the Blue Lions were horrendous at keeping secrets. That had absolutely not changed in five years. Noticing changes in Marianne’s behaviour, ever-chivalrous and kindly Ferdinand became concerned and pressed her for answers. Marianne crumbled beneath his insistence on helping, and tearfully revealed that Byleth’s soul was 'adrift in the ether’, and that Dimitri, Felix and Linhardt were trying to return her to her body.

Ferdinand immediately sought out Felix and Linhardt and insisted that he be allowed to lend his aid. ‘I will devote myself— mind, body and soul— to the safe return of our dear professor!’ Ferdinand declared in an impassioned whisper, tears shining in his eyes. Felix was exasperated, but Linhardt was just resigned. They were lucky it had been the stalwart noble and no one else.

They trusted Ferdinand, so he was accepted into the circle of scholars. However, they could not afford another leak. Felix declared membership officially closed. Something had to be done to make sure it stayed that way.

And so, they all swore a mandatory oath of secrecy over the Book of Seiros, just to be safe. ‘This totally feels like a real cult now!’ Hilda said excitedly after Linhardt led them through the whispered intonation, which had been composed by Ferdinand.

Felix zealously reiterated that if anyone failed to keep their oath, they would feel his ULTIMATE wrath. There was NO ONE they should dare to fear more than Felix Hugo Fraldarius.

If only they had thought of this sooner, because it completely dealt with the problem of Marianne. Now she was too terrified of Felix to be terrified of anyone else.

Dimitri remained ignorant of the dramatic proceedings, because the circle unanimously decided telling him was a terrible idea.

*:·ﾟ✧

_Dimitri_

Even though Sothis was displeased that she and Byleth could no longer go on their mysterious adventures, Dimitri was selfishly happy. It meant that Byleth was around much more often, appearing in various places around the monastery. When he was a student, Dimitri’s eyes would restlessly scan his surroundings for a glimpse of his professor. Even if he didn’t get to talk to her, or she didn’t see him, it was both exhilarating and reassuring when he managed to see her. Everyone teased him for his crush on his professor, his hyperawareness of her presence, and his obvious reactions when he managed to spot her.

Before they became lovers, his yearning, mixed with the thrill of seeing her, was excruciating. The jealousy and bitterness he felt when he saw her eating, sparring, sitting, talking, walking, smiling with others sickened him. He resented her closeness and familiarity with anyone but him. Every smile she gave anyone else fuelled his paranoia. Every single gaze she drew fanned the flames of his violent possessiveness. Every touch she gave anyone else was torture.

In those early months, it was worse because he could not have her. Dimitri fed on Byleth’s attention, words of praise, the meeting of their eyes, her touches during training, her growing familiarity with him, and the precious moments of her private time she gave him. His spirit would soar sky high; consoled, replenished, full of renewed confidence and hope. Then the spiralling descent would begin all over again…

When Byleth finally returned his feelings, Dimitri began to understand himself better. Dimitri was not a sweet, generous lover like Ferdinand, who believed he could be happy as long as Byleth was happy. No… She would be happy, but Dimitri alone would be the one to make her so. Dimitri was a lover who was incapable of accepting any other possibility. But that meant he would travel greater distances for Byleth, and cross lines that would make others falter. His capacity for self-sacrifice just took different forms.

He was a paradoxical lover. Dimitri was selfish… but he could be selfless too. He was impatient, but had unending patience for her. He was greedy for her, but gladly gave her everything he possessed. He found it difficult to trust, but his loyalty to her was undying.

The green-haired demon was wrong. It was trying to corrupt his own mind, make him think his love was warped, harmful and self-serving. It was doing what his ghosts used to do: cruelly twisting and turning his own mind against him. If there was anything good and true about him, it was his love for Byleth. Dimitri truly believed that.

He did not demand things and expect them to be given to him; his life had never been that lucky or easy. There were times he became complacent, when he was lulled by his beloved’s sweetness and indulgence. But he was always prepared to work harder for Byleth, to give her all the love and pleasure she wanted, to become anything she required of him, to fight anyone or anything for her; and if she ever needed it, Dimitri would die for her without hesitation.

That was what his love for Byleth was like. Like himself, it manifested in extremes. His love was dramatic, desperate, tumultuous, violent, jealous, relentless, grasping, monopolising, obsessive… but at the same time, it was pure, sincere, instinctive, unconditional and eternal.

Dimitri offered himself to her earnestly, unquestioningly, entirely; he had no ulterior motives, reasoning, purpose, or direction in devoting himself to Byleth. Dimitri did not just want what she could give him. There was no role for her to fulfil. He had no ambition or plan he wanted to use her for. Dimitri just loved _her_.

And so, he could not fully separate the light and shadow that existed within himself.

Dimitri opened his bedroom door, hoping that she would be there… Byleth was seated beneath the windowsill reading a book… She had been waiting for him! She looked up and saw him, and her beautiful face lit up. When she laughed and said ‘Welcome home!’, he felt that his heart might burst.

Dimitri took her in his arms and kissed her contentedly. He was so grateful he was able to see her and be close to her like this. Today she seemed carefree and languid. She stretched languorously, and her sultry expression and the promise of her body left his mouth dry. Byleth smiled and said she felt like she had an extra capacity to feel pleasure today.

Dimitri would make sure her bliss was nothing less than transcendental.


	16. Interlude ~ The Mystic and the Lone Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda, Felix and Marianne explore the monastery. Hilda asks for a favour. Felix learns more about Marianne and her past.  
> Felix Hugo Fraldarius x Marianne von Edmund

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... this chapter is 75% sex and expanding on Felix and Marianne's dynamic. I really love my rare pairings. I realise Felix is in most of them...

Hilda had been on sky watch that morning. The aerial views of Garreg Mach reawakened her old curiosity about the towers and areas they could never explore as students. Hilda persuaded Felix into going along to protect her and Marianne, the ‘fragile maidens’.

‘…it was a beautiful terrace, with a mosaic floor and…’

‘Why couldn’t you just land your pegasus there and save us all this trouble?’ Felix gave a long-suffering sigh.

‘Because it’s much more fun exploring like this!! Right, Marianne?’

Marianne made a non-committal sound that could have meant absolutely anything, but it seemed to satisfy Hilda. Felix chuckled, amused by their exchange.

‘Did you find out anything when you went to visit Professor Hanneman?’ Hilda asked, dancing ahead to inspect a painting.

Felix shrugged. ‘Lin said the physical exam results weren’t enough for a useful line of research. Just some stuff like all of Byleth’s old scars being erased, weight loss, a slight tapering of the helixes…’

‘Hmm, what does that last one mean?’

‘Don’t you know anything, Goneril? It means her ears became pointy.’ Felix casually neglected to mention that he hadn’t known either until Linhardt explained it to him.

‘Wow!!! You’re sooo smart, Fe!!!’

Out of the corner of his eye, Felix noticed Marianne hiding a smile behind her hand. He was reminded of how people always harped on that they only realised her beauty when she smiled. It pissed him off. Felix and Byleth were constantly told to smile more, or that they looked nicer when they smiled. They agreed it was frankly just insensitive and rude.

Felix had always been vaguely aware that Marianne was very beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that. Why did any of them need to smile? What if they had actual fucking reasons not to be smiling?!

‘WOOOOWWWW!!!’

Hilda had already flown out to the terrace of her airborne observations, vanishing into the glare of the sun like a sprite of the skies. Felix was much more impressed by the room. It was very bare and unadorned, with the sparsest of furnishing: a majestic circular bed in the very centre of the floor, and a slim velvet lounge with a side table near the fireplace. The wall furthest from the door held a vast window seat, which looked out towards the distant cathedral. The confluence of airy openness and quiet seclusion gave Felix a sense of being suspended from reality; a place to seek refuge from the demands of the living.

‘This must be Lady Rhea’s room. No wonder it is so clean. No one comes up here anymore, but Cyril still takes care of it every day,’ Marianne said quietly, drifting towards the window seat. She tried to slide the window up to no avail, so Felix went over to help.

This was a novel occasion. He didn't remember the last time he ‘assisted’ a lady with mundane tasks like opening a window. The only women he spent time with were Hilda, Byleth, Ingrid and Bernadetta. The former two were stronger than he was, and Ingrid _was_ the chivalrous knight for any potential ladies in need. Bernadetta just didn’t like windows being opened at all.

He leaned past Marianne and forced the window open, promptly cursing in pain, having forgotten his injured shoulder in his chivalrous efforts.

‘Oh no, I am so sorry! Please let me…’

‘I'm fine,’ Felix resisted out of reflex, trying to wave off the distressed Marianne. ‘It’s nothing. Calm down, Edmund.’

‘B-But it’s your sword arm… are you sure…’

Felix obediently presented his shoulder.

It was generally irritating when people tried to take care of him. It made him feel like they thought he couldn't take care of himself. He wasn't a child like Linhardt or the Boar... But Felix found himself allowing Marianne to unbuckle his overcoat and help him take it off. When she worked, Marianne was practical and focussed, so it was Felix who felt oddly self-conscious when she unbuttoned his shirt and inspected his bandages. The wound had reopened slightly, and blood seeped through the dressing. (The blade had been poisoned, so Linhardt suggested natural healing for the final stage: ‘I left enough of the poison so you will begin to develop an immunity to it. I thought you would like that, since it will make you stronger.’ Felix was sold.) He explained what Linhardt said and Marianne nodded. ‘In that case, I will only relieve the pain.’

Felix hadn’t realised healers could control the sensation of their magic to bring comfort. Marianne’s healing magic was almost tender, soothing not only his shoulder, but searching out and finding the other places in his body that needed her. He supposed this kind of healing was more for indulgence than practical use. Her hand slipped around to the back of his neck. Felix’s eyes closed when her fingertips settled at the base of his skull, and her white magic suffused his entire body. He sighed with pleasure and unthinkingly drew Marianne between his legs. He rested his head against her stomach, feeling the need to anchor himself to his source of comfort.

The last few years had been hard, and he soaked in her easily given compassion. His fingers wrapped around her thighs through her dress, holding her there, stroking circles with his thumbs as her magic continued to ease his body and mind. ‘This feels wonderful, thank you.’

Hilda’s bright laughter sounded from behind them. ‘You two are soooo cute!!! This has totally turned out to be the perfect opportunity!’ She came bounding over to them. ‘You see, Marianne and I had a question…’

‘Hilda!’ Marianne stared at Hilda wide-eyed, and Hilda fell silent for a moment. Felix looked from one to the other, wondering if Marianne was communicating with Hilda via telepathy, which it was rumoured she was capable of.

‘Trust me!!! Felix will totally understand!’

‘Understand what?’ Felix demanded. ‘Were you two actually communicating telepathically??’

‘Marianne has a crush on you!’ Hilda shrieked and burst into laughter. Marianne looked like she was about to faint.

‘Grow up, Goneril,’ Felix rolled his eyes at the pink haired imp. ‘Did your brain fall asleep for five years too… OW!!!’

Empress Hilda reclined on her throne: the suitably pink velvet lounge. ‘Now then, it seems I will have to do alllll the hard work as usual. Marianne wants to lose her virginity, and I thought we should ask you, Fe! You are handsome and thoughtful and kind and totally sexy! Most importantly, I know you will take care of her, and make her feel really good.’

Felix opened his mouth in complete confusion but no words came out, so he shut it again.

‘You're the only one I would trust to take care of my best friend.’ Hilda rose and walked over to Felix, pulling him down and kissing him sweetly. ‘Marianne likes you a lot, so I know she would be happy if it’s you. This room just happens to be so beautiful too... so it seemed like a good time to tell you~ I don’t want to pressure you though. Can you do this for me, baby?’

Felix’s eyes narrowed. ‘You look pretty fucking suspicious, Goneril! Did you plan this before you brought us here? Marianne hasn’t said anything. Does she actually want to…?’

‘I do.’

The assertiveness of Marianne’s answer surprised him. He studied her face curiously. Fine, he was convinced easily enough… but he still had no idea why this was happening.

‘Is this okay with you, Fe?’ Hilda asked.

He hadn’t taken his eyes away from Marianne’s, and he felt she understood his answer before he said it. Was Marianne really telepathic?

‘If Marianne really wants it to be me… But what about you?’ Felix asked Hilda hesitantly.

Hilda giggled mischievously. ‘I would totally love to watch you two, but I might ruin the mood. So I’m gonna go! I’ll see you babies later! Maybe I’ll join you next time, ‘kay?’

The mood between them was natural and familiar after their earlier closeness. He reached his hand out to her and she walked over to take it with a sweet smile. The moment their bodies were close again, it became much easier. Honestly, having sex was easier than talking about it... Marianne agreed with him, telepathically. They could have sex first and talk later. Felix tilted her chin and lowered his lips gently to meet hers. For once he wasn’t in a rush. Whatever her reason was, Marianne wanted him to be her first, which touched him somehow. He realised he wanted to make her feel cherished. When did he start turning into Ferdinand?

She always wore her hair bound up, and Felix wondered what she would look like with it loose. His deft fingers worked her hair pins out impatiently, and sent them clattering onto the floor. A waterfall of pastel blue hair came tumbling over his hands, her shoulders, and all the way to her waist. He wasn’t disappointed with the sight before him at all. He wound some strands of her fragrant hair around his fingers and kissed them. It looked like he was making her happy…

‘I want to see you,’ Felix said, trying to temper his demanding tone. ‘…May I undress you?’

Marianne nodded, somewhat self-consciously. No matter how hard Felix tried, it was difficult for him to go slow, unclasping her shawl and flinging it to the floor, then tugging off her necktie… Realising his lapse, he tried to be gentle again. He moved behind her and kissed her neck while he unlaced her dress and slipped it off her shoulders… to reveal another infernal layer… then a layer of fucking petticoats… Felix accidentally tore her bodice in a fit of irritation. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he groaned against the back of her neck. ‘I am terrible at being gentle.’

To his surprise, Marianne laughed and turned around to face him, her cheeks tinged pink. ‘I don’t mind if you tear my clothes. Please don’t act different for me… I want to feel what it is like with _you_ , Felix.’

Felix stared at her incredulously for a moment. The only warning she had was a wicked glint in his sharp eyes before he ripped her bodice violently off her. Now she was only wearing a flimsy chemise that stuck to her skin in a way that made his breath stick in his throat in response. Arousal stirred powerfully in his loins when he realised she was naked underneath.

The thought that Marianne didn’t wear panties made Felix’s brain freeze completely. _That is so fucking sexy._ He would never be able to look at Marianne again without thinking of her with no panties on…

There was something about Marianne’s angular, willowy body, her long limbs, her almost translucent skin, that stretched taut over her stomach, her slender hipbones and shoulders, her prominent collarbones, the hint of her ribs… When his fingers wrapped around her arms, Felix legitimately worried that he might break her bones. Hilda’s mix of firm muscle and voluptuous curves allowed him to be rough with less compunction. Felix and Hilda bore scars from battle, but Marianne’s milky skin was as smooth and unblemished as porcelain. She had an almost fey appearance… mysterious, enticing, hiding a powerful spirit within. Why was he waxing lyrical like the stupid Boar did about Byleth?

Her hands explored the planes of his bare, scarred chest and back, traced the hard lines of his abdomen. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, Felix lifted Marianne into his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down on the white silk sheets.

‘Do you think this is alright?’ Marianne asked, and he knew she was talking about Rhea’s bed.

Felix laughed and slid his body on top of hers to kiss her. ‘Definitely. I want to wreck you on this bed. I want to make a mess of you on these fucking sheets. Then Cyril would actually have something to clean. What do you think?’

Marianne gasped then giggled, ‘Poor Cyril!’

Felix gave Marianne a long kiss before moving down her body, kissing and sucking on her nipples on his way. Marianne gasped, arching her spine and pressing her thighs together, but he pushed them apart again. ‘Tell me what you like,’ Felix said, tracing his hands over her delectable hip bones before lifting her legs onto his shoulders. ‘Tell me if you want me to stop. Or if you want me to do more of something. I’ll make you feel as good as I can…’ She smiled at him, then reached and caressed his face in a way that felt profoundly intimate.

He held her gaze while he licked a slow wet stripe along her folds. Marianne shrieked and quickly clapped a hand to her mouth in dismay. Felix reached up and pulled her hand away, interlocking their fingers on the mattress. ‘No one can hear us up here. You can be as loud as you like. Let me hear you.’

Marianne’s needy whining while he ate her out was so arousing. Wetness gushed from between her thighs and Felix buried his face into her gorgeous pussy. ‘You taste so fucking good.’ She whined even louder, her fingers twisting in his hair. The more he praised her, the more aroused she became, but she was nowhere near as free as he wanted her to feel.

‘I like doing this for you, so don’t hold back. You know I wouldn’t lie… I love your pussy, I fucking love the sounds you are making… I’m _dying_ to fuck you.’ He massaged her clit roughly with his calloused thumb, his other hand bent her thigh back towards her chest, and he fucked her with his tongue, keeping her just on the edge of her orgasm, until Marianne was writhing and sobbing from pleasure and overstimulation. Then he moved her legs off his shoulders and pushed himself up, laughing when she keened in disappointment.

Her blue hair was a vibrant splash of colour against her pale skin and the white bedsheets. Her skin stretched over her ribs with each heaving breath. Her thighs were shiny and wet from his saliva and her own slick. She was irresistible.

‘What do you want from me? Tell me what you want.’

Marianne’s eyes dropped to his stiff cock then back to his face. She smiled up at him with a delightfully dazed expression. ‘I want you to teach me, Felix. Please show me how I can have you. My body is yours… I trust you.’ The words of this enigmatic creature were both confusing and exhilarating. ‘Will you make love to me?’

Felix smiled at her. ‘Come here.’ He was unaware of how his smiles made Marianne’s heart flutter. He sat back and guided her onto his lap. Leaning forward, Marianne initiated a kiss for the first time. It made him surprisingly happy that he made her feel comfortable enough to be so forward. Her hands began to explore his chest and back again, before coming to rest on his hard pectorals, fingers tracing patterns on his skin. Marianne’s lips moved to his neck, where Felix was particularly sensitive. The sensation of her kisses drew out his own moans of pleasure.

Felix positioned his cock underneath her, rubbing it tantalisingly along her dripping pussy. 'You're so wet for me...' His cock parted her slick folds and Marianne gasped, her expression an adorable mixture of anxiety and enthusiasm. 'Is this what you want? Do you want me?' Marianne blushed beautifully, winding her arms around his neck again. She unknotted his dark hair, combing her fingers through it and pulling it loose around his shoulders. Felix was desperate to fuck her, eager to give her anything she wanted, but suddenly telepathy was not enough to satisfy him. Felix pushed the head of his cock inside her and she cried out in delight. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back sharply, attacking the delicate skin of her neck with his lips and teeth. His reserves of sweetness were finally depleted. 'Do you want me?? I want to fucking hear you!' He lifted her back off his cock, ignoring her protest of dismay. 'If you don't tell me out loud, I'm not giving you what you want. Not until you fucking beg for it! So you better fucking scream for me! Do you want me or not??'

'I WANT YOU!!!' Marianne wailed at the top of her voice, boiling over with frustration, nearly in tears. The burning need in her core was unbearable. Her sudden realisation of his strength and the harshness of his words had shocked her... but the fierce russet eyes glaring at her, demanding her answers... It was Felix. Felix wasn't cruel... She realised he wasn't terrifying to her anymore. His eyes told her... _he wanted her too_. Now she was feverish from the vehemence of her arousal. 'I want you! I want you, only you... I want you to FUCK ME, FELIX!'

Felix burst into surprised laughter. 'I'm impressed, Edmund. I wasn't expecting you to actually scream!' Marianne groaned and tried to cover her red face with her hands, but he trapped her wrists with one strong hand and pulled her into an impassioned kiss. ‘Keep your eyes on me. I want to watch your face. Are you ready for me?’ He gave her one of those famous heartbreaking Fraldarius smirks. Marianne gave him a kiss so tender that it made his heart ache.

The last thread of his restraint snapped. Felix thrust up into her hard and Marianne screamed, overwhelmed by the heady mixture of pleasure and pain. Felix moaned ecstatically at how tight and wet and perfect she was. He wasn't able to push in the whole way. His strong arms lifted and moved her along his hard length as he thrust slow and deep, until she was taking him all the way to the hilt. The most deliciously wanton moans spilled from Marianne's lips, red and swollen from his demanding kisses. She had never imagined anything like this. Felix's lust for her crackled between their skin. The feeling of being desired, having what she wanted, having the man she wanted, and feeling like this... _This is heaven_.

This position felt so intense and intimate. Marianne's fluid, sensuous undulations on his cock made Felix feel like he was losing his mind. ‘You feel fucking unbelievable… _Holy fuck,_ Edmund! Don't tell me your pussy is magical too...’

Marianne laughed joyfully, watching the intense play of pleasure on his handsome face. Suddenly, Felix gripped her hips hard and held her down tightly in his lap, his large cock fully sheathed inside her, and startedrocking her body hard and fast against him. Felix prided himself on his coordination, so almost immediately, the movements of Marianne's body hit the perfect rhythm with his rough thrusts, and the world shattered around them, plunging Marianne into oblivion.

‘Ohhh my gosh, Felix! You feel so wonderful… oh Goddess… please don’t stop please please please…’

‘Marianne, you are so beautiful. I'm sorry if I forgot to tell you that before... Oh fuck, I am so close… where do you want me to…?’

His words sent a frisson of delighted anticipation through her and prolonged her orgasm even further. ‘I want to feel you come inside me. Please come inside me, Felix.’ She was suddenly inspired by one of his previous comments. Still shuddering with delirious pleasure on his cock, which he continued to slam relentlessly into her, Marianne channeled her tingling, effervescent white magic into her pussy. Felix was shocked into the throes of a piercing orgasm, and he buried his cock inside Marianne with a desperate moan. The intensity of this unknown euphoria was almost frightening. The vision of a completely wrecked Felix, and the explosion of his hot seed inside her womb, elevated Marianne to the exquisite peak of the climax Felix had built up so high for her. Marianne's vision turned blinding white and she squirted delightfully on Felix's cock, screaming his name over and over. The waves of Felix's own unending orgasm continued to wash over him, and he watched in wonder and blissful lethargy as the beautiful mystic soared heavenward.

They stayed like that for a long moment afterwards. Felix held Marianne’s trembling body in his lap, running his fingers through her hair. She lay her head on his shoulder, and felt so content and cared for that she was on the verge of tears.

When they lay down together, luxuriating in the feeling of cool silk on their skin, Felix continued to hold Marianne in his arms. Eventually, they started to speak in fragments, between comfortable silences and long, slow kisses, each of them feeling intensely comforted by the other’s nearness.

‘Can I ask why you wanted this? Why me?’

Marianne gazed at Felix, tracing his lips and the line of his jaw with her fingers. ‘Perhaps it is the war, or my being foolish… but I have always felt as if I had no future. That feeling has been gripping me more and more lately. I know that if I do have a future, it will be to marry a nobleman of my adoptive father’s choosing. That would be my only use to him…’

‘I hadn't realised Margrave Edmund was your adoptive father.’

‘Yes. He adopted me after my mother died... and my father disappeared.’

‘I am sorry. I want to ask about your father, but I feel that it is not the right time.’ Felix tenderly kissed the crown of her head. ‘Is the Margrave… cruel to you?’ There was sudden anger in his voice. ‘Would he force you into a marriage against your will?’

‘I-I don’t think he would go so far, but it is inevitable that I would have to marry. and likely not to someone of my choice.’

Felix had the luxury of not having to worry about things like that anymore. His parents adored Hilda. They had entertained notions of betrothing them ever since they met at the academy, so they would rejoice if he asked to marry her. He had nearly forgotten what it was like for everyone else, and how it might have been for him. He suddenly remembered something Linhardt had told him.

‘You have a crest, don’t you?’

Marianne stiffened against him, then sighed. ‘Yes. It is something I kept hidden at the academy. It is a rare… and unlucky crest. I have to keep it secret.’

‘Like Constance and the other Ashen Wolves then?’

‘Something like that… In the end, it is still a crest, and it makes me valuable to my adoptive father for now. But to answer the last part of your question…’ Marianne smiled and gently kissed Felix’s cheek. ‘Before I become trapped in a future I don’t want, or die in this war… I wanted to know how it would feel to be with someone I really like.’

‘I tend to feel you and Goneril are just melodramatic, but I think I understand,’ Felix sighed. ‘…So you really like me then? I made you feel the way you wanted?’

Marianne blushed deeply, and Felix grinned before rolling on top of her and kissing her. ‘You’re not too bad, Edmund. I wouldn’t mind helping you feel that way more than once…’

Marianne stared at him with adorably wide eyes. Her delectable swollen lips parted in surprise but no words came out. Felix wondered if he had finally broken her?

‘Well, don’t look so terrified. If you don’t want me…’

‘No!’ Marianne gasped. ‘I really… I really want you, Felix. I want you so much...’

‘Good.’

Marianne moaned happily when Felix’s thick hard cock pushed into her again.

‘This bed is fucking amazing,’ Felix groaned deliriously as he filled gorgeous Marianne with his cum again. ‘I want this bed…’


	17. Unfulfilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories obscure the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: references to pre-timeskip underage sex/relationship

Dimitri wearily laid his head on Byleth’s stomach, kissing her bare skin tenderly. His eye closed when she combed her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp in the way he loved her doing. He laughed at her chiding when she kept having to detangle his hair. ‘Honestly, Dima! If _Felix_ finds time to comb his hair… then again, he is much vainer than you are…’

Then her fingers travelled down to rub soothing circles on his temples. Tension made his skin feel stretched too tightly across his skull. At the touch of her fingers, the tightness dissipated with a surge of release. Dimitri sighed blissfully. ‘Thank you, beloved.’

‘You have been working hard. I am so proud of you, Dimitri.’

Her tone flung him back in time; to an awkward lanky student, blushing in embarrassment and delight at praise from his beautiful professor. Dimitri wondered if this feeling would ever change.

Their long separation had affected them in ways that neither fully understood about the other. Suffering and the passage of five years had ravaged Dimitri’s face, his body and his mind until he was nearly unrecognisable. But Byleth remained the same. She had not changed at all from his memories, she had not aged a single day… She still looked the same as she had through the eyes of his younger self, who revered her, obsessed over her, and decided she was the one thing he would do anything to have for his own…

Dimitri’s mind flooded with visions of her that he had lovingly committed to memory in their time together. Watching the rising sun slowly illuminate her lovely face when he woke up blissfully entangled with her. The exhilaration on her face when they sparred; animated eyes, pink-tinged cheeks, tendrils of hair sticking damply to her face, distracting beads of sweat trickling down her neck, then between her breasts… Instantly, he would find himself on his back staring up at blue sky, before she appeared in his vision again, smiling and reaching out her hand.

How intensely erotic he found her reddened panting mouth after his fierce, hungry kisses… or when he fucked her, delirious from the all-consuming experience of _her;_ the delicious writhing of her body while he moved inside her, the way their eyes always met—heated, aroused, self-satisfied— when they felt their power over each other’s pleasure.

She was still the woman he had known, idealised, pined after, wanted from the first moment he laid eyes on her. The object of his monumental love and longing.

When Dimitri’s mind was kind to him, it cocooned him in golden visions to alleviate the pain of her absence. He would be submerged in moments where he believed he had known heaven. But as ever, his darkness and ugliness circled the hallowed space of his memory, continually lingering at the edges.

Dimitri’s love for Byleth encompassed six long years. He was allowed nine precious months at her side when he was seventeen years old, before she was lost in Zahras and did not come back... until now. He spent only six of those months finally able to touch her, kiss her, make love to her as he had craved… He finally had her in his arms, she agreed to become _his_ … Paradise.

But even then, Dimitri struggled to escape the curse driving him to destroy everything along his path, even what he held closest.

Every day that he made Byleth happy might be followed by one where he lashed out at her. Later he broke down, desperately trying to take back words intended to cause hurt and guilt. He begged her forgiveness for his aggression, toxic jealousy, deluded suspicions… his crippling insecurity and anxiety, his fear of losing her…

All the while, his chaotic emotions coalesced into an acute need for reassurance, which was then subsumed by the tempest of his love and lust. He swung from abject misery to feverish want for her, and when she inevitably refused to give him what he wanted, the cycle began all over again.

Eventually, Dimitri was exhausted, able to cry out his frustration, then sink into a deep depression over his unworthiness, and his cursed existence that made him hurt his beloved over and over.

However, these thoughts became formless and indistinct in the state of joyful unreality in which they now lived. Byleth’s present state of being was a subconscious fulfilment of his desire to keep her entirely to himself; unattainable and unknowable to anyone else. His beloved was safe and protected. He no longer needed to fear the endless unpredictable and destabilising forces of the living. This guarantee of security stabilised him, and his relationship with Byleth was the most idyllic and harmonious it had ever been. The pain of their traumatic separation, and the current transience of their days together, allowed them to occupy an insular world where only they existed, and all that concerned them was each other.

Byleth still loved him and never abandoned him, not even when she discovered the troubled and violent being that existed within the sweet prince who adored her, promised her his eternal loyalty, and tried so hard to make her happy. The bond that grew between them during their fleeting, impassioned and volatile love affair endured. Protected by the Goddess herself. Against all impossible odds, she returned to him.

They were lovers bound by fate. They were suspended in a reverie of contentment, deep connection and the most wonderful parts of their intense, passionate and unending love for each other. All they wanted was to be together and finally make up for all the time they had been alone, waiting to meet again.

The years had passed. Dimitri had grown older. Byleth transcended time and space. But in some way, their hearts remained stuck in that time five years ago, where the love between Dimitri and his professor remained unfulfilled.


	18. Right Time

The meeting Linhardt called in the Shadow Library was to be attended only by himself, Felix, Hilda and Dimitri. While they waited for the prince, Felix watched Hilda fondly as she excitedly regaled him with the details of her investigative exploits. ‘I think I’m totally close to cracking this whole case!!! Welllll, it’s mostly just ideas and not a lot of evidence…’

Felix usually reviled public displays of affection (though only Linhardt was present), but suddenly overcome with adoration for her, he impulsively bent down and kissed Hilda’s laughing mouth. When he moved away, she was a little surprised by the unexpected gesture. Then she noticed his uncharacteristically soft expression, and knew it was not a time to tease him, as they usually did with each other. Hilda felt a sharp pang in her chest and reached up to touch Felix’s cheek lovingly. When he lowered his face and kissed the inside of her wrist, she thought she saw the glistening of tears in his eyes, but when he looked up again, they were gone.

‘The conclusion I have reached is this: the Sealed Forest is a site that connects our dimension to the dimension of Zahras. I am certain now that it is the only place where the sealing spell could be used,’ Linhardt said in a low voice, after they had all huddled in a far corner. ‘Hilda found a sigil of the Crest of Flames embedded in the cliff near the ruins, which leads me to an interesting hypothesis…’ Sothis hovered near Linhardt, observing his face with interest. Byleth stood beside Dimitri, their hands lightly brushing against each other.

‘It is not a mere gateway to Zahras. I think that site was built _for_ sealing away… and not just sealing anyone away. I think its purpose was specifically to seal away bearers of the Crest of Flames. The original bearer, in fact. The Goddess herself.’

Everyone was silent, uncertain how to react to the implication of his words.

‘The clever one must be right,’ Sothis sighed deeply. ‘After all, it is when we were sent to that place that I remembered who I am. With that came my realisation that I could not be trapped in that place, I should have been able to leave… but I was no longer in my own body.’

‘Sothis, so you were in Zahras before…’ Byleth said with a heavy heart. ‘The only being who could survive the darkness, it must have been you after all.’

‘This doesn’t really make sense,’ sighed Hilda. ‘If Solon already knew the Goddess couldn’t be trapped in Zahras, why was he so surprised when he said…um… the Fell Star consumes the darkness itself?’

‘We assumed the Fell Star was Sothis, but perhaps it was just a name they gave Byleth after all,’ mused Linhardt. ‘I wonder what it means.’

‘Deadly… Star… That is a plausible enough nickname for her,’ Felix said with a roll of his eyes. ‘I mean, she was also called the Ashen Demon, and that makes even less sense.’

Byleth laughed at that. ’Perhaps Solon didn’t even know Sothis lived inside me. I bore the Crest of Flames, which should have become extinct after Nemesis. Solon might not have known how I got it.’

Linhardt listened intently as Dimitri repeated what Byleth and Sothis said earlier, then muttered away to himself. ‘Certainly, it is hard to think Solon knew precisely what Rhea did to Byleth. And yet, he also knew a forbidden spell that was potentially capable of sealing the Goddess away……… We still don’t know who he was, or how many people were working with him. Solon and Kronya’s appearances were curious too. As if they magically altered their genetics in some way… what an incredible discovery!’

‘I talked with Rhea and Seteth after Remire,’ Byleth continued. ‘Seteth believed in a conspiracy that had taken root in more than one territory. Tomas came here on recommendation from House Ordelia. Jeritza was from a noble house in the Empire…’

‘House Hrym. His full name was Jeritza von Hrym… Isn’t that just TOTALLY SUSPICIOUS?!! That’s what we talked about with Rodrigue. The Insurrection of the Seven!’ Hilda nearly bounced straight off the bed in her excitement. ‘It must all be connected. I knew I was onto something right from the start!’

‘Sure you did, Goneril.’

‘Just listen to my brilliant theory, Fe!!! This all fits together. Hrym and Ordelia are right next to each other. I remember chatting with Seteth one day, when I was trying to get out of cleaning the library… anywayyyy, he mentioned that Tomas retired and left for Ordelia ten years before. But then he turned up again the year before we arrived at the academy. Lysithea said she never saw Tomas during that time. Solon probably stole Tomas’s appearance during those ten years, like Kronya did to Monica. But my clever deductions don’t end there!’ Hilda paused to catch her breath. ‘Tomas returned to Ordelia right around the time of the Insurrection. We know who else turned up there! The creepy mages came to Ordelia after the Hrym rebellion. And who is the worst and creepiest mage we know???’

The meeting was relocated to Linhardt’s room, both to avoid lingering in one place too long, and because Linhardt needed to lie down. He collapsed onto his bed with a sigh of relief. Eventually, he sadly propped himself up against the headboard to avoid falling asleep. Hilda settled herself down at the end of the bed, leaning her back against the wall. As usual, Felix preferred to stand, leaning against the door to keep an ear out in case anyone moved around outside. Byleth lifted herself up to sit on the desk, and Dimitri stood next to her. Sothis occupied Linhardt’s chair with a pleased expression.

The room next-door was empty, at least. That consideration stirred a vague sense of sorrow in Linhardt as he remembered Petra. She had chosen to remain at Edelgard’s side. Well, there was no use in reminiscing now. He fell quiet while he listened to the others continue trying to make connections further and further back into the past. If Solon and his agenda were linked to the mage faction that helped destabilise the Kingdom, then their present goals were even harder to fathom. It was not as simple as Fódlan’s unification, that much was certain. Solon possessed knowledge from the time when Sothis walked the land. Her foes in the past used the Forbidden Spell of Zahras at least once, which meant the ruins in the Sealed Forest would be from that time period too.

‘The locations where everything is built just feels odd. The Sealed Forest being so close to the Holy Tomb is so weird. The monastery was totally built here to protect the Holy Tomb though. Lady Rhea said the Tomb is where the Goddess and her children were laid to rest. Isn’t that where the Goddess’s body should still be then?’ Hilda’s eyes widened. ‘But that means the Goddess _died_ … The Book of Seiros just says she returned to the Blue Sea Star. So Lady Rhea knew this other truth all along, that the Goddess had died in her real body. That knowledge was kept hidden by the Church. She accidentally revealed it to us during the Revelation.’

Sothis’s expression was inscrutable, but she reached over instinctively and Byleth squeezed her small hand in her own.

‘Hilda, you forgot that Rhea mentioned it months before then. Saint Seiros and the Four Apostles attempted to resurrect Sothis, but the Rite of Rising failed because they didn’t have her body. The first Rite was performed in 185, if Rhea’s information is accurate. It was also the year the monastery’s construction was completed. That means Sothis’s body had disappeared by 185.’ Linhardt continued scratching away at his notes.

‘It was stolen,’ interjected Felix. ‘There is no way Sothis’s body just _disappeared_. I am obviously right. That is the great mystery we have stumbled upon. Someone fucking stole the Goddess’s body.’

‘But the timeline feels wrong,’ Byleth said. ‘Several things feel wrong. The crest stones belong in the Heroes’ Relics. The Sword of the Creator was with Nemesis until Saint Seiros killed him at the Tailtean Plains… when?’

‘Imperial Year 91,’ Dimitri answered promptly. His history lessons had seemingly managed to stick.

‘Thank you, Dimitri. So the crest stone remained with the sword until 91. They were separated at some time between 91 and 1159, when I was born. If your theory about Rhea trying to create vessels to resurrect Sothis is correct, the crest stone held Sothis long before 1139, the year of Sitri’s birth. Rhea said Sitri was the twelfth of her creations…’ Byleth paused so that Dimitri could repeat her words to Linhardt and Hilda.

Felix’s mouth was set in a grim line, clearly turning something unpleasant over in his mind. ‘Either Sothis was placed in the stone after 91. Or she was in there while Nemesis still wielded the Sword of the Creator.’

‘The Goddess must have died sometime after she created the Relics for the Elites, but before Saint Seiros defeated Nemesis,’ Hilda said. ‘If we assume that she was put in the crest stone _right after_ her death…’ An expression of confusion and unease settled on Hilda’s face. ‘Then Nemesis must have been there when the Goddess died. But was it before he turned evil or… ughhhh, this feels so terrifying now.’

Linhardt was listening, rapt with attention, and nearly stopped breathing. ‘So, either the King of Liberation witnessed Sothis’s death and managed to preserve her in the crest stone of his sword…’

‘Or the King of Liberation killed the Goddess. I wonder how that conspiracy theory would be received.’ Felix’s tone was bitter, but Byleth saw that his eyes were very sad. Dimitri and Byleth turned hesitantly to look at the little green-haired goddess, who had not spoken a word.

Sothis was curled up peacefully in Linhardt’s chair, fast asleep.

People seemed to feel entitled to gossip about Felix and Hilda’s relationship. They did not expect Felix to fall for someone as flighty and frivolous as Hilda. They never thought Hilda would choose someone as aggressive and aloof as Felix. Half of the time, they could hardly tell that he cared anything for her at all. The particularly insensitive ones whispered amongst themselves whether Hilda would really marry someone from the Kingdom? Would she really choose to live in isolated snow country, instead of among fashionable society in Derdriu or Enbarr?

 _‘If Enbarr is still standing when the war is over,’_ Felix thought, almost viciously.

Felix had not expected the hurt that those words inflicted. Beneath the cold, cynical persona through which he found it easier to interact with the world, he hid his fears of abandonment and losing the people he eventually allowed into his heart. As much as he told himself he believed Hilda cared about him, he could not suppress the awful insecurity that began to suffocate him.

Hilda’s room was too messy, so Felix followed in amusement as she skipped ahead of him, leading him to his room for some ‘alone time’.

Their lovemaking was different today. Usually, it was fast and frenzied. Right then Felix really wanted to express, in some way, another side of his feelings for her. It was the most intense their sex had ever been. His lips and tongue worshipped every inch of Hilda’s smooth, silky skin. He watched her beautiful face in wonderment, drinking in every sound and expression of pleasure he drew from her. He fucked her slow and deep, savouring the divine sensation of being inside her, sinking his cock as deep inside her as he could. Hilda was weeping from pleasure, covering his neck and chest with kisses, and moving her hips with him at a sublime pace that had them both struggling to remain conscious. Felix drew out her orgasms until she was so weak and blissed out, she couldn’t move anymore. Then he came deep inside her, wracked with such profound pleasure and satisfaction that it left his entire body trembling. He collapsed on top of her, nuzzling his face against her neck, impossibly content but also feeling some poignant emotion he couldn’t put into words. Hilda wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, stroking his hair.

They lay quietly for some time, their bodies comfortably tangled together. Eventually Hilda spoke in a gentle voice, ‘Felix, what are you feeling? I feel like you’ve been holding something in the past two days. Will you not talk to me about it?’

Felix sighed heavily and kissed her throat. ‘I… can try. I find it hard to put my feelings into words, so will you be patient with me and try not to laugh?’

‘Of course I will be patient,’ Hilda said, feeling tearful. ‘I won’t laugh either. I want you to know you can tell me anything.’

Felix was silent a little longer, pressing more kisses to her throat. Then he linked his hand with hers on her stomach before speaking. ‘After that day, when you asked me to… with Marianne… I have felt really unsettled. Don’t worry, you didn’t force me. I chose to do what you asked. But I realised later that I was upset. I am not as open-minded as you are. It hurt that you seemed to feel nothing… about sharing me with someone else. I don’t know if I could ever do that with you. I would be furiously jealous… and miserable. Marianne is kind and beautiful, I didn't mind at the time that I took care of her, if it was that important to her.’ Felix felt his voice grow unsteady, and stopped to take a breath. Hilda waited patiently for him to continue, which he was glad for. He wanted to say it all first, before she responded. ‘Afterwards, I regretted it so much. I felt so guilty. I _feel_ so guilty that it felt good. I just want to be with you, Hilda. There is no one else I see the way I see you. I feel like I have been unfaithful to you, and it makes me feel sick.’

‘Oh, Fe… I’m so sorry, I really regret asking you now and making you feel like this. Marianne is a really special friend to me, and that’s the only reason I wasn’t hurt. It was stupid of me, I’m always doing things without even thinking, and I need to stop. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Fe. I really love you so much.’ Hilda buried her face against his chest, and he felt the wetness of tears seeping through her eyelashes. ‘What is wrong with me?? I feel like I just proved I don’t understand you at all, and I don’t even deserve so much love from you! You should totally just toss me away into the gutter and forget all about me!’

‘It might be too late for me, Goneril.’ Felix managed to flash her a smirk when she pulled away to look at him. He brushed a tear off her nose. ‘It would be hard to forget about you now, let alone force myself to stop loving you… I feel like this may not be the best time, but I think if I don’t do it now, I might never tell you… and then I’ll probably die foolishly on the battlefield, never having told you.’

‘What is it?’ Hilda sniffed miserably, wondering how much worse it could get.

Felix reached across and rummaged in his bedside table, then turned back taking something out of a small black velvet bag. ‘Here. Take this.’

Hilda’s eyes grew wide as she stared at the ring Felix placed on her palm. The ring was an intricate silver band, and placed in its centre was a deep blue-green jewel she could not identify. The Crest of Fraldarius was engraved on the inside of the ring.

‘This is soooo beautiful!’

Felix was covering his mouth with the back of his hand, averting his gaze slightly. His cheeks were tinged pink with embarrassment. ‘You can thank my father. It’s a family heirloom. He gave it to me before he left. Anyway, it looked like the kind of thing you would like.’

‘I really do!!! It’s the most perfect ring I could even imagine! I’ve never seen a gemstone like this one before. Do you know what it is?’

‘It’s alexandrite. Apparently it is very rare. It’s only found in a mine in the Sacred Gwenhmyvar, a mountain range in the Kingdom. I guess that’s why you haven’t seen it before. It is this colour in daylight, but at night under candlelight, it turns red. My mother showed it to Glenn and me once…’ Felix trailed off.

Hilda placed her hand on his cheek and gently turned his face back towards her. ‘Felix, why are you giving me this? I don’t want to misunderstand…’

‘…Is it really possible to misunderstand?’ Felix groaned.

‘Yeeessss, it is!!!’

‘Ugh, fine! But I refuse to say anything like this ever in my life again…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘Hilda Valentine Goneril, I promise you my heart with this ring. I am asking you to be my wife. Please say yes. After we win the war, let’s get married and stay together until we die. I would even marry you today if you wanted me. I love you.’ Felix blushed even harder. ‘That’s all.’

Hilda threw herself on to his chest and started to cry.

‘…What are you crying about now, Goneril? Is the thought of marrying me really that awful?’

‘Noooooo!!! I love you too, Felix Hugo Fraldarius! I love you so much!!! YESYESYES I will marry you! I want to marry you today, but I think my father and brother would be upset if they couldn’t be there…’

‘Yeah, so would my mother… and you know what the old man is like.’

Hilda propped her chin up on his chest, and gave him a cheeky grin. She held up the ring and looked at Felix pointedly. With an exaggerated sigh, Felix took it and slipped it onto her finger when she excitedly presented her hand to him. She laid her hand on his chest and admired the ring, feeling extremely giddy and light at heart. Then she slid up to his face and captured his lips with hers in a long, tender kiss. ‘Thank you for loving me. We’ll totally win this war! And I won’t let you die! I’ll protect you, Fe!!! Then let’s go home together, ‘kay?’


	19. The King's Triumphant Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle to reclaim Fhirdiad.

Even with the prospect of battle ahead, Hilda’s spirits remained irrepressible. ‘RODRIGUE!!!’ The axe-wielding magical girl took off towards the Fraldarius camp, where Felix’s father waited for them. Hilda leapt off her pegasus and hurtled at the dark-haired figure dressed in Fraldarius teal, throwing her arms around his waist with a loud shriek. Felix watched his infuriatingly frivolous father and equally frivolous fiancée with fond exasperation. Hilda theatrically revealed the ring Felix gave her, which she wore on a silver chain around her neck, and Rodrigue’s delighted laughter carried to them on the wind.

Ingrid bolted through her report. The way into the city was clear. The majority of the resistance army were at Tailtean, where they intercepted the joint forces of Kleiman, Mateus and Gideon. The head of House Gideon had been killed by none other than Caspar. The Gideon heir immediately called a surrender and renewed his oath of allegiance to House Blaiddyd. The head of House Mateus and Viscount Kleiman surrendered shortly after, and were placed under arrest, awaiting Dimitri’s judgement. Mercedes was also at the front. House Charon had mobilised for the resistance and cut off the Gaspard reinforcements marching for Fhirdiad. Count Rowe had retreated to Arianrhod, and Ashe was at Castle Gaspard, where he secured his inherited lands for the crown.

Rodrigue frowned slightly. ‘The city has been rife with insurrection for four days. Cornelia’s armies remain within the city, but no move has been made to suppress the revolts.’

‘Little Bern has been writing up a storm this month,’ Sylvain grinned, patting the blushing girl on the head. ‘The revival of _Professor of My Heart*_ caused quite the surge in public morale… The Prince returning to liberate his people, the Professor’s resurrection at the Goddess’s hand, or in Bernie’s words, the second coming of Saint Seiros.’

‘Then Bernadetta has been working hard. Caspar too struck a decisive blow on the historic Plains of Tailtean. I am pleased to hear my Empire-born comrades are making their contribution,’ Ferdinand said proudly.

‘I imagine you will say the rest is up to you and me now, Ferdinand,’ sighed Linhardt.

‘Can we please remain focussed?’ Ingrid interjected before Ferdinand could open his mouth to make a grand response. ‘My pegasus knights have neutralised the ballistas on the battlements. The city guard and soldiers in the outer districts have surrendered and are assisting with evacuation. We will be ready to advance shortly. There is a magical ballista to the west. My scouts were not able to get close, but they spotted a company of fliers in the east.’ Ingrid paused before continuing. ‘They also report the presence of strange mechanical monoliths deep in the inner city. They may be magical weapons of some kind.’

Ceres turned and conferred respectfully with Rodrigue. ‘Then I propose we clear paths through the east and west, while Dimitri and I cut straight through to the palace. I assume that is where Cornelia will be waiting.’

When he stepped into Fhirdiad, Dimitri felt his stomach plummet as he warped in and out of his younger self… returning home five years ago… to the terror of betrayal and torture…

The dream team were reunited. Bernie, Felix and Hilda disappeared into the west with their battalions and a contingent of resistance soldiers. A short time later, the streets began to ring with Bernie’s terrified shrieks as she and Felix decimated the soldiers protecting the ballista. A thunderous Bolting strike left nothing but a scorch mark where the mage at the ballista had stood. Hilda’s dark pegasus soared high above in a loop of victory.

Hapi, Ingrid and Annette led the eastern charge. The gusts of wind from Annette’s Excalibur spells set window shutters rattling in accompaniment to her merciless rout of the falcon knights waiting for them. One of Ingrid’s scouts shouted to Ceres as they flew overhead; the mages and falcon knights in the east appeared to be protecting a building…

Dimitri and Areadbhar were a tempest of blood as they massacred their way through to the central square that stretched between them and the Royal Palace. Blood dripped from their armour and weapons, staining the white stone steps red. Dimitri looked around the eerily silent square. Three of the gigantic mechanical constructs Ingrid mentioned towered up ahead.

‘How should we proceed, Your Highness?’ Ferdinand came to his side, followed by Sylvain, Constance, Linhardt and Ceres. He was answered by the ominous sounds of metallic whirring, as each mechanical colossus came to life, one by one throughout the city. ‘Titanus! Give my old master a welcome to remember!’

Ceres’s vision began to blur with exhaustion as she used the Divine Pulse over and over again. It was not only the Titanus. Magical attacks, unpredictable and seemingly without a source, began to erupt around them.

 _Felix lay open-eyed and lifeless in Hilda’s arms, while she screamed in despair, her dauntless tenacity finally drained from her. Bernadetta was sobbing in fear, trying to protect Hilda from the advancing Titanus… she was flung from her horse with terrifying force, her body bursting against the wall from the impact…_ AGAIN. _This time it was Hilda. Felix watched in horror as her pegasus was torn out of the sky and dashed against the ground, Hilda’s skin ripping apart on the rough stone paving as her body skidded to a stop at Felix’s feet…_ AGAIN. _The air filled with the sickening screams of Ingrid’s dying pegasus, Minerva, as arrows from the upper level sent them plummeting towards the ground_ … AGAIN…

‘Stop.’ Byleth moved through a world frozen in place. ‘Your power over time is not infinite. When it runs out, what is left behind will be final.’

‘I am doing this all wrong… I-I don’t know what to do! Please help me!!!’

Byleth smiled at Ceres. The smile that would always reassure her students; everything would be alright now that their professor was here.

‘…in the east… protecting a building…’

‘Tell Ingrid she needs to get inside! The controls for the magic weapons, they are inside,’ Ceres yelled up to the pegasus rider. She turned to Constance next. ‘Three archers on the upper level. Kill the one in the east first.’

‘OHOHOHO, leave it to me, Professor!’

‘The machines… the Titanus, they will come alive,’ Ceres explained quickly to the others. ‘We will bypass them. Our target is Cornelia. She is on the upper level with the archers.’ Taking a deep breath, she relayed Byleth’s final instructions. ‘Linhardt, warp me to Felix. When Constance has killed the archers, Sylvain and Ferdinand, go straight for Cornelia. Take your wyverns up high, keep away from the Titanus. Dimitri, Linhardt will warp you to Cornelia… Do you concur?’

Dimitri’s lip curled viciously. ‘Just get me to the monster.’

_‘There is nothing left for you now… Nothing but despair.’_

Byleth was standing on top of a stone wall, gazing out at the streets of Fhirdiad spread out below her. Even in the aftermath of a battle, the city at dawn felt still and peaceful… suspended between sleep and wakefulness. It was a sight that inked itself into Dimitri’s memory… dark hair floating about her shoulders, her cloak gusting around her body… it almost felt as if she teetered on the edge of being lifted off and carried away by the wind. Byleth was finally here, in the city that he always dreamed of bringing her back to.

She stood beside him, her face alight with love and joyful laughter, as the sea of people filling the square welcomed him home…

‘Even though I turned my back on them, and fled the Kingdom in disgrace…’ Dimitri’s voice grew hoarse with tears.

Gilbert’s penitent expression had fallen away on this day he waited so long for. ‘The spectacle before you does not lie, Your Highness. We are a kingdom in need of a king. A hero to save the people from their long oppression. Your Highness… it is truly a blessing that you have returned.’

Byleth wiped a tear from his cheek and whispered, ‘Don’t cry, Dima! This is a happy time.’ He sniffed and blushed slightly.

‘I’m fine… these are happy tears, beloved.’ He exhaled deeply and a heavy weight seemed to dissipate from his chest, instantly dispersed by the wind. ‘I am finally home again… how nostalgic…’

‘I must say, this is quite exciting!’ Linhardt appeared at Dimitri’s elbow, leaning over the balcony and enthusiastically watching the rejoicing crowd.

‘Linhardt, come back here!!!’ Ferdinand hissed, utterly horrified. ‘You can’t be out there!’ Dimitri laughed and exchanged grins with Linhardt, while Ferdinand flapped his arms in panic, trying uselessly to summon him back inside. Linhardt ignored him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Throwback to Bernadetta's serial romance in [Cusp](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24963841) ~


	20. Kingdom Revels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The victory celebrations begin. Linhardt and Dimitri decide to read instead.

The people’s revels continued in the city below, the streets coming alight with paper lanterns and old decorations joyfully dug out of dusty attics. The partying downstairs was twice as rowdy, since it doubled as a celebration of Hilda and Felix’s engagement. Uproarious laughter carried on the night air. Rodrigue, Hilda and Sylvain were predictably inebriated and regaling their audience with the Tales of Felix Hugo Fraldarius, much to Felix’s chagrin. To an outbreak of cheers and merciless ribbing, Hilda climbed into Felix’s lap and smothered him with exuberant kisses. When he resurfaced, Felix was flushed pink with embarrassment, and thoroughly dazed from lack of air. However, the official record would attribute it to the breathtaking beauty of his Goneril bride-to-be: the belle of the Leicester Alliance.

Eventually, the noise and press of bodies began to suffocate Dimitri. Making a surreptitious escape, the prince found himself wandering into the palace interior. The high-ceilinged rooms and hallways were darkened by looming shadows. The pale light of the moon illuminated the outlines of objects in silver. His vision warped for an instant, overlaying the faint silhouettes with a mirage-like veneer. A child’s memory of a resplendent golden world shifted to a vignette of splendour in decay; the last impression of his seventeen-year-old self before he departed for the academy. Lost in such musings, Dimitri continued to drift through the shadow world of what used to be his home.

Light spilled across the ground from a doorway, where a tall wooden door had been left ajar. More curious than cautious, Dimitri ventured inside. It was the library. Unlike the rest of the floor, all the lamps in the library were lit. Dimitri guessed the identity of his fellow explorer before he spied Linhardt sitting cross-legged in a circle of lamplight, already having accumulated a sizeable stack of reading material. ‘Hello, Your Highness,’ Linhardt said without looking up. ‘I hope you will forgive my presumption that you would not mind me using the library. I was bored of the festivities and could not pass up the opportunity to explore the royal library. Would you allow me to borrow some of these?’

Dimitri bestowed the green-haired mage with supreme library privileges. ‘Have you found anything of particular interest?’

‘Oh, yes! You know of my research into the crest of Blaiddyd during our academy year, of course. I would have told you that the Empire had next to no information on the Kingdom Elites, Blaiddyd in particular. This library is a treasure trove, Your Highness. I don’t suppose you would let me stay here rather than return to the monastery…? Ah, you needn’t answer. Anyway, I learned something fascinating! Do you ask because you want to know, Your Highness?’

Curiosity piqued, Dimitri nodded.

Linhardt folded his arms behind his head and lounged against a shelf. ‘In light of the physical boon the Blaiddyd crest grants, and widespread popularisation of the “King Loog” archetype, the Blaiddyd kings tend to be associated with physical prowess and the military arts. You are a case in point, Your Highness, as was your father before you. After all, to capitalise on your crest’s power, mastery of the relevant offence and your hereditary strength must be privileged. However, I have already found multiple suggestions that your house’s progenitor was not one of the main offensive Elites like we might expect… As a side note, Fraldarius most definitely was. Entirely as expected.’

‘Then what was Blaiddyd’s role in Saint Seiros’ army?’

‘It appears Blaiddyd was a Dark Knight,’ Linhardt explained. ‘A caster as well as the wielder of Areadbhar. Now, here is where it gets most interesting, Your Highness. Some of these sources lead me to believe that Blaiddyd was something of an occultist.’

‘…What is that?’

‘…A practitioner of the… occult?’ Linhardt sighed. ‘Hmm, ritual black magic? In Blaiddyd’s case, his specialty appears to have been divination… by means of necromancy.’

That, Dimitri had not expected. ‘My ancestor practiced necromancy? Well, that... is certainly strange,’ was all he managed to say in response.

‘I assume you have guessed my angle by now, Your Highness.’

‘…I am afraid I haven’t,’ Dimitri admitted with a slight blush.

Linhardt was endlessly patient with his new disciple. ‘I am saying that we may have struck upon another aptitude the crest of Blaiddyd bestows… an innate capacity to see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. At least, to an extent. Does this sound familiar?’

Dimitri stared at him, his eye wide as Linhardt’s meaning sank in. ‘My ability to see my family’s ghosts… Byleth, Sothis… you think it is because of my crest?’

‘Hypothetically… but it certainly feels like a revelation, doesn’t it?’ Linhardt grinned enthusiastically. 'You may find some of these volumes useful to peruse. Hmm, since you are much stronger than I am, would you carry the heavier ones? You are very useful to have around, Your Highness. Thank you.’

They departed the library, carrying their literary bounty. With a small jerk of Linhardt’s chin, all the lamps in the library were extinguished, besides the one he took to light their way back. Dimitri had grown to enjoy Linhardt’s company, and listened to the suddenly sleepy noble’s sarcastic grumblings with amusement.

‘It is a good thing we decided to head back. Lest someone imagines something dreadful has befallen you. I predict it would be Ferdinand or Felix… ugh, even the thought of how dramatic they would be…’

Later, Dimitri inspected the recommended reading list that Linhardt assigned for his self-education and ‘research…probably’. The nightly revels still showed no sign of ending. Dimitri suspected that Byleth’s absence meant she and Sothis had successfully concocted a devious plan to inebriate themselves. He decided to retire to his room for some light reading, just to make sure he still remembered how to read...

_Medium Aevum; The rise of post-independence spiritualism in the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus_

_Aeternitas-Aevum-Tempus; The philosophical debates of pre-Imperial existentialism_

_Necromantia Adrestia_

_Nekyia; a history of necromantic practices in the Northern Kingdom_

_The Deeds of the Elites; A history in verse_

_‘The Deeds of the Elites’_ it was.


	21. Lonely Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loneliness and longing...

There was a distinct time during parties when the unholy combination of sleep deprivation, a body saturated with alcohol, and continued semi-consciousness made Sylvain’s stomach churn. Annette was drunk from calling too many toasts ‘to our shhweet lovebirdshhh’, and threw up on the dance floor during a frenzied jig with Caspar. Caspar inevitably got into a ‘minor scrap’ with a random bystander, which fast became a terrific free-for-all. People stopped trying to intervene, lest they get dragged into the fray like the poor fools before them. Sylvain’s tired eyes searched the room for someone even remotely useful.

Dimitri had retired for the night long ago. Linhardt and Marianne had done the same much earlier. Bernadetta was never there to begin with. Ashe was spotted in a heated tryst in the herb garden. Ingrid was one of the peacemakers who ended up furiously joining in the melee. Mercedes was spotted in a heated tryst in the herb garden… Sylvain could not place his intense feeling of déjà vu… Rodrigue was shaking with uproarious laughter, no one was sure at what. Felix was yelling and goading Caspar and Ingrid on: he was unable to take part in the violence himself, because Hilda was either fast asleep or passed out drunk in his lap, and Ferdinand was sobbing on his shoulder… Professor Byleth was missing.

Well, there was nothing more a guest could reasonably be expected to do. Sylvain made his exit with a clear conscience, deciding that he would look for their professor.

Eventually, someone ran to wake Gilbert. The old knight brought down the draconian fist of sober authority on the drunk and disorderly, who filed out laughing and chatting amicably. Caspar made several new chums.

//Ceres//

Byleth was the only brightness in her life. It was difficult to stop smiling at Byleth’s side, even when Ceres teetered constantly on the edge of tears. Ceres was intensely, desperately lonely. At first, she clung to the illusion that Byleth was her mother. Fearful of being abandoned by her, Ceres began to manipulate constantly, visualised responses to every possible situation and learned the power of suggestion. She discovered instantly that using the tears and pleas of a child moved Byleth’s heart to sympathy and belief. It made her feel obligated to return, to keep her promises, and influenced her to accept Ceres’s words as ingenuous and guileless. Ceres believed that this harmed no one. All she wanted was to keep Byleth. She had to ensure that Byleth felt bound to her in a way she would not easily detach herself from.

Byleth was too youthful to truly play mother. Their relationship gradually changed into something more formless, though still founded on feelings of acute dependence and fixation. Ceres felt so isolated and dissociated from the people around her. They all saw through her, as if she was not even there at all. She was a non-entity animating the body of the woman they projected their memories, desires and beliefs onto.

In her mind, Dimitri was her most dangerous rival; the one she had to outmatch. Dimitri’s possessiveness was violent and undisguised. He did not conceal his petulance and selfishness. Unhinged and exacting though he was, Byleth continued to love and want him. Ceres fiercely resented how entitled Dimitri acted towards Byleth’s entire being. His methods were overt, so she had to be subtle and indirect to achieve what she wanted. Otherwise, she knew he would win.

Sothis was different. Her creator… her true mother… was no mere rival for attention. Sothis was her most formidable and terrifying adversary. In spite of her childlike appearance, Ceres felt like Sothis’s eyes were uncannily discerning… imperious, cynical and pitiless… impossible to sway or deceive. Worst of all, Byleth trusted and paid heed to Sothis. Even more so than the prince, Sothis held the power to turn Byleth against Ceres. This only intensified the paranoia that Byleth would abandon her… and she would be alone again.

Ceres turned to look at Byleth’s face, and her heart wrenched with the force of her adoration. Byleth’s laughter was uplifting and glorious, and her eyes sparkled with mischief, as the pair of them peeked over the ramparts to spy. They were talking and stargazing earlier when a disturbance in the herb garden below caught their attention. That was how Byleth and Ceres became the unintentional audience of the passionate love scene taking place in the parsley plot.

‘It’s Mercedes… and Ashe!!’ Byleth gasped. ‘Oh my! You probably do _not_ want to be eating anything with parsley in it for the foreseeable future…’

‘Professor! There you are!’

They both flailed in shock when Sylvain appeared almost out of nowhere.

‘Shhhhh!!!’ Ceres hissed at him and pulled him down with them in panic. Luckily, the lovers seemed not to have heard anything over Mercedes’s wanton moaning. Sylvain curiously peered to see what was happening and his face broke into a wide grin. He made humorous eye contact with Ceres and they stifled their simultaneous chortles.

‘I am shocked at you, Professor,’ Sylvain whispered, smirking at her. ‘I never took you for the voyeuristic type!’

Byleth burst into laughter and made her departure. Ceres groaned in frustration.

‘Don’t worry! I’m not judging you at all.’ Sylvain gave her an exaggerated wink, then leaned back against the wall with a sigh. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, and Ceres decided that his company was not unpleasant. His easy, relaxed attitude put her at ease.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.

‘Why, looking for you, of course! Did you think I would not notice the absence of the most beautiful woman in the room?’ It was casually said, but her face grew warm, because she secretly thought the Gautier heir was extremely attractive. ‘Are you actually blushing, Professor?!’ Sylvain laughed brightly. ‘I knew you would fall for my charms one day!’ Then he ran his hand through his hair and his face grew serious. ‘You know, I have been worried about you. Everything with Dimitri… it even affected _me_ , so I can’t imagine what you have been feeling. It’s strange watching the two of you. I guess I never expected a day would come when you stopped being in love with each other. I honestly didn’t think Dimitri would survive if you weren’t his anymore! Seeing him look… fine… It’s hard to wrap my head around…’

‘Things are different now,’ Ceres said, leaning her head back against the cool stone. ‘He stopped loving me long ago.’

‘Professor, I can’t believe…’

‘It’s true. It happened long before now. Ever since the day I changed. I was just…no longer the person he loved.’

Sylvain stared at her. He seemed to be trying to read her expression without much success. ‘I’m sorry, Professor, I’m not sure what to say… I’m sorry if I brought up something painful.’

‘It’s fine.’ Ceres smiled at him. It gave her a sense of release to even say that much; to have a conversation with someone, and be able to say things that were mostly true. ‘It never hurt in the way you seem to imagine.’ She was saying too much, but it was hard to stop the words spilling out of her. ‘All I feel lately is… loneliness. Ever since I came back, it feels so hard to… reach out, or feel close to anyone.’

‘Darn, Professor! If you were lonely, all you had to do was come to me. You know I would happily take care of you!’

Ceres looked at him, uncertain of his meaning. ‘Really?’

Sylvain’s expression was incredulous, scrutinising her face as if he thought she was teasing him. ‘You’re really throwing me for a loop here, Professor. I’m not sure if you really are that oblivious, or if I was better at hiding it than I realised…’

_‘Ahh, of course,’_ Ceres thought. It was so predictable by now that she should not be surprised anymore… or disappointed.

Sylvain’s fingers gently caressed her jaw, then tilted her chin so that she would look at his face. His warm brown eyes were headily sincere. She had never seen his eyes without their sarcastic veneer until now. She vaguely recalled Byleth talking to her about Sylvain once… the side of himself he hid away… fearful of being hurt, too disillusioned to expect to be loved? She could not entirely remember. The vulnerability and tentative hopefulness on his face was almost pathetic, and Ceres felt a stab of bitter malice. What would happen if she spurned him right now, while he offered his unguarded heart to Byleth? What would it look like when that earnest, hopeful expression crumbled? Would it be Byleth’s rejection that finally broke him? Or should she be kind and give him the validation and joy she would never receive herself?

Once again, she felt the immense power that Byleth’s existence had given her over all these people.

Sylvain kissed her painfully tenderly, as if she would bolt away if he was not careful. _‘It is better than being lonely.’_ She closed her eyes and returned his kiss. It was almost a physical sensation when the dam broke inside him, and the uncontrolled release of affirmation and gratitude wracked his body. Why did this affect him so strongly? Ceres could not understand, and she was even more bewildered when Sylvain’s tears fell onto her face, and mingled on their lips… salty, wet and intensely sad.

‘I loved you for so long… I have loved you all this time… Byleth.’


	22. The Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they begin to unravel the events of King Lambert’s reign and the Tragedy of Duscur.

//Ferdinand//

The previous night had not been one of his finest. The state of inebriation was entirely unfamiliar, and the gaps in his memory were truly disconcerting. Felix told him scathingly that he was an ‘emotional drunk’. Upon seeing Ferdinand’s anxious expression, Felix spoke more kindly and reassured him somewhat. ‘Relax, Aegir. You did nothing… ignoble, or whatever you are imagining right now. You literally spent the entire night crying on my shoulder… which was inconvenient, but ultimately harmless.’ Well, that was some comfort.

Shortly afterwards, they were joined by Rodrigue, Linhardt and lastly Hilda. Despite having imbibed more alcohol than the rest of them, Hilda looked immaculate and in excellent spirits.

‘Hilda, I envy your grace and poise this morning. Alas I can claim no such dignity, I am but an intemperate wretch…’

‘Aww Ferdie! It comes with experience! Don’t be too hard on yourself, ‘kay?’

Felix and Rodrigue seemed to find Hilda’s response amusing. Perhaps it was a brand of Kingdom and Alliance humour that he was not versed in.

In any case, breakfast time was when Ferdinand tended to be struck by a thirst for knowledge.

‘Lord Rodrigue, I apologise for broaching this sensitive topic. Would you be willing to answer some questions pertaining to the events that led to the Tragedy of Duscur?’

Felix grimaced slightly, but Rodrigue gestured for Ferdinand to continue. Linhardt and Hilda wore expressions of interest.

‘I have been mulling over the idea since I studied the Kingdom’s history in my youth. King Lambert’s assassination took place in 1176, only five years after the Insurrection of the Seven. Do you know if any connections were established between these events?’

‘Indeed, that was part of my own investigation at the time. However, with the nightmarish events that followed; the razing of Duscur, the riots across Faerghus; I had to put my investigation aside. The magnitude of chaos following Lambert’s death was beyond anything I imagined.’ Rodrigue’s sigh was tinged with sadness. ‘I still cannot understand _why_ it happened. I am one of the few who think Lambert’s assassination was part of an agenda greater than the isolated actions of some Duscurian rebels.’

‘Then you did not find any political motivations? Had King Lambert made any unpopular decisions, or introduced policies that received considerable pushback?’ Ferdinand asked.

‘Lambert was well-loved by the common people. His assassination formed the entire basis for the propaganda that stoked existing prejudice within the populace, thereby justifying the pogroms in Duscur.’

‘A plan like that would need a lot of men and resources though,’ Hilda said. ‘My father and brother talked about it when the Tragedy happened. Holst was convinced that normal militia could never have defeated the King’s elite guard, and the trained knights and soldiers with them. Each of the nobles travelling with the King would have their own personal troops too. That means _a lot_ of enemies too… and many of them would have been well-trained.’ Felix had been quiet and stony-faced the whole time, but he nodded slightly at Hilda’s words.

Linhardt smiled at Hilda approvingly. ‘Hilda just saved me the effort of a preamble. Being loved by the common folk is all well and good, but was King Lambert equally as loved by the Kingdom’s nobility? Did any of them benefit from the King’s death or the genocide in Duscur?’

Rodrigue’s brow furrowed. ‘In seeking to address the problem of poverty, certainly Lambert was looking into redistribution of funds and resources among the territories. Surely those were insufficient grounds for the massacre that occurred. In the matter of the genocide in Duscur, I see no wide-reaching gain. Merely the elevated status of House Kleiman. They were awarded a noble title for their subjugation efforts in Duscur. They were also granted the Duscur region as their feudal estate. Prior to that, they possessed only a small holding in the west.’

‘I guess if all that came out of it was a minor noble title, everything that happened seems totally excessive…’ Hilda sighed.

Ferdinand shook his head vehemently. ‘For House Kleiman to be granted a place among the crest-bearing nobility was no minor boon. If I remember correctly, House Rowe is the only other house with a similar status. They received their title for defecting from the Empire, and gifting the Kingdom with the Silver Maiden. House Kleiman’s gain was monumental!’

Felix’s voice was cold-blooded when he spoke for the first time. ‘How fortunate that Viscount Kleiman just served himself to us on a platter at Tailtean.’

‘I’ve been thinking… Cornelia’s actions are realllly confusing,’ Hilda mused, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger. ‘Was she really planning for the Imperial invasion all that time? One of the travelling merchants at Garreg Mach mentioned that Cornelia imposed awfully harsh taxes in this region. It totally doesn’t make sense to drain her region like that, right? Wouldn’t it just become useless to her?’

‘An astute observation, Hilda!’ Ferdinand exclaimed. ‘Why, the very same occurred in Hrym. In fact, it continues at present. It is the cause of the terrible riots there as we speak. Edelgard can no longer spare the soldiers to defuse the situation there.’

‘Was Hrym not previously under Duke Aegir’s jurisdiction?’ Rodrigue turned to Ferdinand.

‘Yes…’ Ferdinand faltered slightly. ‘I know little of Hrym, to be honest. My father insisted that I have nothing to do with that territory. However, I cannot imagine him being so short-sighted as to force one of his regions into utter ruin…’

‘So who rules Hrym now?’ Hilda asked curiously.

‘At the time I left the Empire, it had passed to the jurisdiction of the Regent,’ Linhardt answered. ‘Edelgard’s uncle, Lord Arundel.’ A flash of recognition passed over Rodrigue’s face. ‘Was he known to you, Lord Rodrigue?’

‘Yes, Arundel territory borders the Kingdom in the west. He fled to Fhirdiad during the Insurrection of the Seven.’ Rodrigue was visibly perturbed. ‘He lived here in exile for a few years, then returned to the Empire. That would have been around 1174…’

‘Two years before the Tragedy of Duscur,’ said Linhardt. ‘There is our potential connection, perhaps. After all, Lord Arundel was one of the Seven and headed the Insurrection along with Duke Aegir. His presence here in the time between the two events is suspicious, at the very least.’

‘Why would Edelgard’s uncle turn against her father though? They were family…’ said Hilda.

‘They were not family by blood.’ Ferdinand ran his fingers through his hair as he thought. ‘He was the older brother of Edelgard’s mother, one of Emperor Ionius IX’s consorts.’

‘Ummm, as in he had more than one?’ Hilda wanted to know, of course.

‘Well, yes. I believe Edelgard had several siblings, though none from her own mother. I know nothing of her siblings. Perhaps, they did not live in the palace since they did not bear crests.’

‘That seems totally cruel!!!’

‘Well, Edelgard must have been the only one to bear the crest of Seiros. It is much the same in most families of the Ten Elites, after all. The Emperor took several consorts until he was given a crest-bearing heir. Though I am the legitimate heir of House Aegir, I am not the oldest of my father’s children.’

‘Unfortunately, my parents were lucky with their very first attempt,’ Linhardt sighed. ‘Namely, myself. I would like to have siblings… If only so one of them could take my inheritance off my hands…ugh.’ That made each of them smile, and instantly lightened the mood at the table.

Ferdinand supposed he had chosen heavy topics for breakfast table conversation… but it was war time, after all.

‘I guess my parents were lucky with Holst and me too,’ said Hilda, and her expression grew glum again. ‘It must be pretty awful for the children born without crests, like Sylvain’s brother Miklan. While we’re talking about family… Cornelia said Dimitri’s stepmother, Lady Patricia, was involved in causing the Tragedy. That she did it to be reunited with her real family. What did she mean, Rodrigue?’

Rodrigue suddenly appeared uncomfortable.

‘That’s right, old man! I didn’t even realise that woman was Dimitri’s stepmother. You clearly knew about her… and you’re not hiding it very well,’ Felix said, looking exasperated.

‘I would prefer to have this conversation with His Highness present,’ Rodrigue said firmly.

‘That is understandable,’ Linhardt interjected, seeing Felix open his mouth to argue. ‘I have some further questions, Lord Rodrigue, if you would. Thank you. Cornelia was a researcher from the Adrestian Empire before she travelled to the Kingdom and ended a plague here. When precisely did that occur?’

‘Ahh, yes. It would have been after 1162, when His Highness was born. Unfortunately, the Queen was one of those infected. She passed away not long after giving birth to His Highness.’

‘That’s so sad…’ Hilda’s eyes filled with tears.

‘Then His Highness never knew his real mother,’ Ferdinand said mournfully. ‘It is no wonder he was so deeply affected by Cornelia’s wicked words. His stepmother was the only mother he knew…’ Tears welled in his own eyes.

‘Please stop bringing up mothers,’ Linhardt groaned. ‘I assume then that Cornelia earned her high position in court for curing the plague?’

‘You are correct. In wake of the plague’s outbreak, Lambert turned his focus to public policy and social welfare. Lambert hired Cornelia to prioritise improving public health and sanitation in Fhirdiad. It led to an overhaul of the city’s infrastructure; its water supply, as well as sewage and waste systems to prevent the people disposing of their wastewater in the canals, which they would also use for drinking and washing. Cornelia’s efforts ended the plague as well as several common infections and diseases. Fhirdiad became almost completely free of disease. It was like a miracle.’ Rodrigue frowned. ‘Then one day, she changed completely… her personality, even her manner of speech. There was no rhyme or reason to it. Lambert still trusted her and appointed her court mage, in recognition of her service to the Kingdom.’

‘That _totally_ gives me creepy mage vibes!’ Hilda gasped. ‘Don’t you think, Fe?! Lin?! That has to be it!!!’

//Dimitri//

Waking up in his old room, he was momentarily disoriented… as if he never left for Garreg Mach at all, and the passing of six years was nothing but a long, exhausting dream. It was still dark; he never managed to sleep through the night. His gaze was drawn towards the window seat. The faint light of the moon illuminated her fey nakedness… A waterfall of long dark tresses cascaded over the edge. Byleth was curled up there, fast asleep.

The immense love Dimitri felt for her overwhelmed him every time she appeared to him. He moved to kneel at her side and lightly caressed her cheek. Her expression was so soft and unguarded. Silently, he swore again to ensure she would always be safe and protected from harm like this…

‘Dima…’ she said in her sleep, and her voice was so forlorn that it tore at his heart. Grief-stricken, he wondered what she saw when she dreamed, and prayed fervently that he was not the cause of her sadness. The thought was unbearable.

‘Beloved, please wake up… please don’t leave without waking up…’

Her heavy-lidded eyes began to open. Dimitri kissed her over and over in joyful relief, and felt her smile against his mouth. ‘You seem happy to see me…’ She drowsily wrapped her arms around his neck and Dimitri carried her to his bed. Warmth suffused his chest, watching as she snuggled under the blankets with a pleased expression. His dreams at the academy had been of a future like this. Moments like this with his professor, in a future where she became his queen…his wife…

_When Dimitri was of age to claim his birthright, he intended to ask Sir Jeralt’s permission to court his daughter properly. Then he could take his mother’s ring from the vault… but he really wanted to give her a ring that was hers alone… He would ask his beloved professor to marry him. Dimitri desperately hoped she would accept. Byleth could go home with him at year’s end. They could be together right away! The thought of waiting any longer was agony…_

Byleth was lying on her side, already asleep again. Her chin rested against his shoulder, one arm folded beneath her head. The other draped across his chest and neck, so her palm rested lightly on the side of his face. Dimitri turned over to face her. The flame in the reading lamp still burned, so he could drink in the vision of her… the dark cherry hue of her lips, the liquid sheen of her hair as it spread across the pillows, flowed over her shoulders… His fingers moved instinctively to lift the hair away from her breasts. He felt sulky at their concealment from him, and imagined Byleth’s amusement if he ever admitted to such a thought.

Dimitri lowered his head to kiss her shoulder, brush kisses along her collarbone… she stirred and he moved back up to capture her lips. She drifted into wakefulness again, a blissful sigh escaping her as she melted sleepily into his kiss. Her fingers traced up the back of his neck, then into his hair, tangling in the long strands. Almost imperceptibly, her body stiffened. Dimitri moved away to look at her face and realised… in that instant, there was no recognition in her eyes. If Dimitri had not learned patiently to read her eyes, he may never have seen it. A pang of hurt pierced through him, which changed rapidly into anger and paranoia.

‘Who were you thinking of?’

‘I…’ He could tell she knew what he meant.

‘You thought I was someone else. Who was it?!’

‘Dimitri, that is not…’ Why did she look so distressed if it was not true?

‘TELL ME!!!’

Byleth began to cry, her entire body shuddering from her sobs. Her voice was full of anguish. ‘I still see his face… you… begged and _begged_ me not to leave him, I can’t let him go…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I am aware of what happened to Edelgard's siblings but the gang don't know that!


	23. Sacred Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linhardt dreams of dragons.

// Linhardt //

Being in the company of disillusioned Kingdom nobility was extremely conducive to his research. Catherine never even allowed him to hold Thunderbrand. Linhardt still held a minor grudge over that. Meanwhile, Felix, Sylvain and Ingrid simply handed over the Aegis Shield, Lance of Ruin and Lúin for Linhardt to research to his heart’s content! They even consented to being test subjects. O, frabjous day!

Merely having the crest stone in proximity to its Relic and crest-bearer did nothing. Neither did having the crest-bearer hold the weapon and crest stone separately in their hands. The only logical conclusion, then, was that the Relics’ activation mechanism occurred at a physiological level. If the crest stone was fused into Byleth’s anatomical structure as Linhardt theorised, that was what eliminated the need for stone and Relic to be physically attached. To what extent did the crest stone need to be integrated into human anatomy? He assumed, in light of Byleth’s ‘heart condition’, that the crest stone was appended to her heart. Linhardt was curious to know if _swallowing_ one would work, but digesting the crest stone was probably not a desirable outcome. An experiment for a later date, perhaps. In any case, unless there was some obscure reason for the stone masking Byleth’s heartbeat (both by sound and physical sensation), logic dictated that her heart simply did not beat.

a) the heart organ was never functional, as Rhea claimed.

b) the crest stone superseded the heart, replacing all its physiological functions.

If (b) was true, Byleth’s heart was either permanently terminated, or in a state of living stasis. Their hopes rested on the latter. It suggested that Byleth’s body may be self-sustaining, and the crest stone could be safely excised. However, none of this guaranteed that a detached consciousness would simply reattach itself. Prince Dimitri would see it as progress, though. No doubt he would say the probability of her returning would be infinitely higher once the ‘parasite’ was gone.

It was always evident that the Relics were crafted from bone, which never seemed that important. However, examining the Relics’s material properties was turning out to be extremely fruitful. He had changed his focus upon making an illuminating discovery in the Shadow Library. He had it in his possession for some time, but once again neglected reading the sections that appeared to be unrelated to crests. As a researcher, Linhardt clearly had a ways to go yet…

> **The Truth of the Heroes’ Relics**
> 
> ...Based on the composition of ___ it can be summarised that _______ likely a massive creature akin to a wyvern. However ____ strength is beyond compare to that of wyvern bones. They are more durable than all materials other than crucible steel, making them ideal for crafting weaponry, and absolutely _______ inhabiting ____ difficult to conceive, but one theory____ Is it possible that______ the goddess's___ have potentially...

An unforgettable memory. The phenomenal sight of the white dragon soaring over Garreg Mach. The Immaculate One. Linhardt prided himself on always being given to belief over disbelief. The people around him had questioned if their eyes deceived them. However, Linhardt did not employ metaphysics for every flimsy deviation from normalcy. Linhardt saw the Imperial Army’s demonic beasts overwhelm the creature and bring it to the ground. And he saw Byleth… no, Ceres race to its aid. The dragon was real, and it came to protect the monastery five years ago.

‘…likely a massive creature akin to a wyvern… strength beyond compare to that of wyvern bones,’ Linhardt muttered to himself. The Heroes’ Relics had been crafted from the bones of an ancient draconic species: brethren of the Immaculate One. Linhardt would bet his inheritance on it (he was very sly). ‘Crest blood’, dragon bone, and crest stone were individual parts of a complex biological whole.

When the crest stone was _inside the wielder’s body_ , dragon bone was still capable of drawing from its power. That suggested interconnecting interactions between crest stone, blood and bone.A closed pathway. If that was true, when the crest stone was _in the Relic_ , dragon bone acted as a conduit between the wielder’s body (i.e. blood) and the crest stone. Dragon bone could not only conduct and harness crest power, it was a viable medium of transmission.

His most recent discovery was that each Relic worked only with its own crest stone. He theorised that the composition of dragon bone used varied between the Relics. A level of specificity existed between each crest, crest stone and type of dragon bone.

‘So… that is what happened…’

The mechanism of Relics functioned like a physiological network because it was one. If each Relic was crafted from a different dragon, and its associated crest and crest stone were from the same source… If his theory was sound, it solidified in Linhardt’s mind that it was never Sothis who created the Relics. Somehow, Nemesis and the Elites had managed to slaughter the dragons and craft weapons from their corpses. They did not stop there. They discovered a way to imbue their own blood with the crests the dragons possessed.

The annals of history were always written by the victors of war. It was an inescapable truth. When their own war reached its conclusion, regardless of which side prevailed, what followed would be no different. It was naïve to believe otherwise. Linhardt placed some trust in Dimitri though! Dimitri could probably be persuaded not to burn Linhardt’s books, especially if Byleth asked him not to…The Adrestian Empire and Church of Seiros were embroiled in an erasure of history that implied a far more convoluted motive… several motives, even.

With the Empire’s founding, time itself was reset to zero. An entire era became untraceable, and eventually was lost. The Church and Empire expunged the records of a time when dragons were not figments of legend, but earthly inhabitants of Fódlan. A species of beings aligned with Sothis, if the Immaculate One’s behaviour was any reflection. A protector species? The dragons vanished from the land, and proceeded to vanish from historical memory.

Afterwards, the ex cathedra version of history painted Nemesis as the King of Liberation, and the Ten Elites as saviours of the people. Linhardt recalled particularly phrasing in the Book of Seiros, which he read very recently… when their circle of scholars swore the oath of secrecy.

> _The Book of Seiros, Part II_
> 
> The Creation
> 
> In the beginning, amid the great cloudless ocean, Fódlan came to be.  
>  **At the end of a long journey, the goddess glimpsed that land and there  
>  alighted.** Upon that sacred ground, she breathed life into the world and  
> created all of the creatures upon it.
> 
> By the goddess's hand, plants took root, birds took to the sky,  
> and animals roamed the land. Last of all, she created humanity.  
> When the humans wished for power, she granted it. She gifted them  
> the blessings of the heavens and of the earth. **By way of the magical arts,  
>  humanity attained great power, yet unaware that great power portends  
> great evil.**
> 
> By the grace of the goddess's divine protection, humanity thrived.  
> Through her blessings, they grew prosperous and their numbers rose.  
> Before long they became the most powerful creatures in all of Fódlan.  
>  **All was well until darkness descended from the north...a darkness that  
>  devoured the earth, desecrated the heavens, and threw the world and  
> its inhabitants into a state of chaos.**
> 
> To face this evil force, the goddess created a new well of power.  
>  **She gifted certain chosen individuals with sacred blood,** allowing them  
> to wield mystical weapons, that they may prevail against the darkness. **  
> These souls, buoyed by their divine gifts, conquered the evil ones and  
>  drove them back to the north. They came to be known as Heroes.  
> **The Heroes experienced unnaturally long lives, persisting for hundreds  
> of years. Even after they breathed their last, the power coursing through  
> their blood remained, leaving an indelible mark upon this world.  
> This power, passed through bloodlines, came to be known as the Crests.  
> The mystical weapons they once wielded are now called Heroes' Relics.  
> And so the legend of a new age was born.
> 
> The descendants of the Heroes sought their ancestor's power, and thusly  
> their blood. In time, they amassed Crests, Relics, land, and wealth,  
> using all to set the land aflame with war. The goddess's power, intended  
> to stem the flow of evil, became a tool of destruction, all because of the  
> greed of humanity. The goddess grieved and, heartbroken, hid herself  
> in the heavens from whence she came...

‘… darkness descended from the north…’ Linhardt mused out loud.

As he knew already, the Saints’ bloodlines resided in the Adrestian Empire, while the Elites’ descendants occupied the continent’s north: the Kingdom and Leicester Alliance. If their geographical separation reflected historical allegiances… Nemesis and the Elites had never protected Fódlan from the darkness. They _were_ the darkness. From the perspective of the Church and Empire, of course… but if the Elites gained their power by the brutal methods Linhardt theorised, it was hard to argue against.

‘…sacred blood… conquered the evil ones and drove them back to the north.’

The Saints. The Heroes who conquered the evil ones. He always wondered why the Goddess did not give Relics to the Five Saints as well. They possessed crests, so why not Relics? There was no convincing rationale for it, besides that the Elites were simply the designated muscle. However, Linhardt was not supposed to question the Goddess’s divine logic, so he had been forced to shelve that thought.

Did ‘sacred blood’ then refer to an alternate method by which the Saints received their crests? Like his blood transfusion theory?!

Wait… This was a tangent. What was he thinking about earlier…? Linhardt rarely felt the impulse to curse, but his mind invoked a vision of Felix furiously shouting ‘FUCKING HELL!!!’

The Crest of Flames.

Nemesis had the Crest of Flames.

The Crest of the Progenitor.

// Dimitri //

‘I must say, I am surprised you are not more pleased about this. I would have expected you to rejoice at the knowledge that your rival in love is yourself!’ Sothis was entirely unsympathetic. ‘Well, I suppose you were prettier back then. Is that the cause of your jealousy?’

Dimitri scowled at the cackling goddess. ‘Did you come just to amuse yourself at my expense?’

Sothis’s expression sobered a little. ‘I think you could be more patient. Your reunion was a very different experience for Byleth than for you. She remained much the same as your memories of her. But she did not return and find you as you were. She returned to someone much altered from the boy you used to be. It cannot be so simple for her to reconcile you with the one who remained unchanged in her heart all these years.’

‘I am not in the mood to talk about it,’ Dimitri grumbled petulantly.

‘Hohohoh! You are unchanged in one way, at least. You still sulk like a big blond baby…’

Dimitri groaned in annoyance, but before he could retort Byleth appeared, sitting on the edge of his desk where he was working. ‘Beloved!!’ As always, seeing Byleth momentarily dispelled all negative thoughts from his mind. She laughed and ruffled his hair fondly, then turned curiously to Sothis.

‘Why have you summoned me, O Divine Sothis?’

‘Hmph! I am the Goddess. I owe no explanations for my whims! However, this one was about to say something disagreeable to me, Byleth! I need your help to deal with him.’


	24. The Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half a memory of the Goddess Tower. Between dreaming and waking - POV Sylvain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dubious consent issues as a result of hidden identity. Short segment of sexual content - Sylvain x 'Byleth' (Ceres)

_Felix and Linhardt disappeared into the cathedral, bickering about something or other. Byleth stifled a laugh behind her hand as she recalled Felix’s promise. There was a long queue of lovers awaiting their turns on the top floor, so the trio had settled for a lower floor for their sworn promises of solidarity._

_Byleth lingered a while after Felix and Linhardt had left. It was shameful to truly admit it to herself, but she hoped Dimitri would come. It hurt to feel so unfulfilled. The reasons were not ones she was ready to dissect just yet. In that moment, she imagined herself standing on a precipice…pierced by a sudden terror that all that awaited her was a darkness without end…_

_‘Here you are, Teacher. Are you waiting for someone?’_

_Edelgard came to her side on the balcony, mirroring Byleth and leaning her folded arms on the parapet. Her presence was soothing, as it always was. Byleth exhaled deeply, trying to dispel the strange emotions that plagued her tonight._

_‘No, I am not waiting for anyone.’_

_‘Ah, that is a relief. I would not wish to interrupt anything.’ The implicit questions about Dimitri went unasked, for which Byleth was grateful. Edelgard was silent for a moment, then she began to speak in a softened tone._

_‘This place… It was where my parents met for the first time. My father had been a student at the Officers Academy some years before. He was crowned Emperor not long after he graduated. One year, on a visit to the monastery, he came in here on the night of the ball… a nostalgic whim, perhaps. And there she was… my mother.’_

_Instinctually, Byleth knew it would be a story with a tragic end, yet it arrested her all the same. Every time Edelgard revealed some part of herself, which she otherwise kept carefully hidden, it affected Byleth keenly._

_‘My mother had enrolled in the academy that year. They were drawn to each other instantly… Love at first sight, as the story goes. It was the first time either of them had truly been in love.’ Edelgard’s expression appeared torn between cynicism and childlike belief._

_‘Then they married their first loves?’_

_‘Not quite. My father had been Emperor for a few years by that time, so he already had an Empress from a political marriage. However, for the sake of producing many children, my father had a harem. In the end, my mother became a concubine of the harem too. But… I believe love did exist between them.’_

_Edelgard’s hollow laugh echoed against the stone walls. ‘In the end, it is a silly old story.’_

_A profound melancholia hung between them, feeding off each of their bodies._

_‘It can be a lovely story too, if you choose…’ Byleth’s optimism was no less hollow than Edelgard’s laughter._

_‘It seems so, does it not? Unfortunately, it is a story from before I was born. When I was old enough to understand things, my mother was already banished from the capital, so…’ Then she smiled a little more brightly. ‘What about you, my teacher? Now you owe me a secret in return! You could tell me about your first true love.’_

_‘…Mmm, perhaps if you tell me yours.’ Byleth tried hopelessly to worm her way out of answering that particular question._

_‘If that is what it takes to learn more about you, Teacher. I cannot help but be intrigued by you and the mysteries of your past. Very well. I cannot remember his name, but it was a noble I met in the Kingdom… a lifetime ago.’_

// Sylvain //

Sylvain’s eyes looked for her the moment they drifted open. When he saw that the space beside him on the bed was empty, it did not come as a surprise. His mind was resigned to him waking up in empty reality, just as he had every day of his life. Still, his heart clenched in anguish. The barriers of caution, cynicism and self-denial that he spent twenty-five years assembling… How easily a dream had caused them to fall away. Sylvain reached for their sanctuary and found nothing there. Panic seized his chest and he tore through his insides in search… Nothing. Why was this happening???

The tears spilled down the sides of his face and pooled beside his ears on the pillow. Then a muffled whispering sound caught his ears, like the rustling of fabric. Sylvain sat up in surprise, and his breath caught painfully in his chest as a glimpse of pale green entered his vision. He climbed out of bed, warmth flooding his entire being.

Byleth was curled up asleep in front of the fire, cocooned tightly in the spare blanket. Sylvain kneeled at her side. ‘Byleth?’

Her eyelids fluttered imperceptibly, then she curled into a tighter ball with a shiver. Sylvain felt her forehead with a faintly unsteady hand. Even this close to the fire, her skin was strangely cool to the touch. Concerned, he stoked the flames before trying to wake her again.

‘Are you feeling ill? Should I take you to the infirmary?’

‘No… just cold… all the time,’ Byleth mumbled, her mouth partially covered by the blanket. Sylvain pulled the edge of the blanket from her face and tucked it beneath her chin. She looked so adorable, he could not help smiling.

‘You know, Professor, you would have been warmer in bed if you stayed close to me.’

Her eyes opened slowly now, still heavy with sleep. ‘…didn’t know if you would mind. I became so sleepy… couldn’t make it back to my room… I’m sorry.’

Sylvain stared at her in bewilderment. ‘You didn’t have to leave. I wanted you to stay. I… I thought you would know that.’

Her eyes studied his face, her expression impenetrable. Then her lips curved into a small smile. ‘Thank you.’

Her smile was so sad, he felt tears prickling at his eyes again. ‘Will you come back to bed?’ he asked.

Byleth’s lips parted as if to say something, then they shut again and she nodded. She made as if to move, then grinned sheepishly. ‘I have to unroll myself… Ugh, how did I trap my arms?!’

Sylvain burst out laughing and scooped her up into his arms. He carried her back to the bed, and proceeded to unroll her rapidly. She tumbled ungracefully out of the blanket with the air knocked out of her. She was only wearing her panties and immediately started shivering again. He lifted the quilts and she burrowed inside. He tossed the spare blanket on top for good measure. He would most likely drown in a puddle of his own sweat, but he did not mind right then.

Climbing in beside Byleth, he pulled her close and wrapped her legs around one of his. Full of love for her, Sylvain kissed the icy tip of her nose, then tilted her chin and kissed her on the lips. Her nipples felt frozen against his bare chest. She whimpered in pain when he brushed over one with his thumb.

‘Hurtssss!’

He flashed her a cheeky grin, kissed her one more time, then ducked his head beneath the sheets. She jerked in surprise when he took one of her nipples in his mouth, warming it with his tongue. Gradually, her body relaxed and her fingers moved to run through his tousled hair.

‘Does this feel good?’

‘It does, surprisingly. Thank you,’ Byleth’s muffled voice said through the sheets.

‘I told you I would take care of you.’ He transferred his attention to her other breast. She stiffened again when he gently sucked on her nipple, rolling it with his tongue. Her fingers gripped a little tighter in his hair, and her chest rose and fell as a deep sigh travelled through her body.

Sylvain resurfaced to see her with her eyes squeezed shut, and a pale tinge of pink blossoming on her cheeks. She was so beautiful… He captured her mouth with his, kissing her hungrily, and the urgency of his want escalated at a terrifying speed.

‘Will you please let me have you again?’ Their first time was still a half-remembered dream.

Byleth’s eyes softened and she traced his jaw with her fingertips. ‘Yes.’

She laughed helplessly when he covered her face and neck with joyful kisses. Her laughter was swiftly cut off by a whine when Sylvain’s hand made its way into her panties. He wasted no time in stimulating her clitoris and stroked his fingers along her folds, immensely satisfied by how wet she grew for him.

Kicking his pants off impatiently, he lifted Byleth’s knees to her chest and slipped her panties over her feet. They vanished into a distant corner of the room. At this stage, the sheets had mostly fallen away from their bodies. Sylvain kissed her knees before spreading her thighs and moving between them.

He fell forward onto his forearms, trapping her wrists on either side of her head. In the same motion, he pushed into her slowly. She was so gloriously tight, he groaned desperately against her panting lips. It took a few tries before his cock was fully sheathed inside her. Kissing her tenderly, he stayed like that a moment while she grew accustomed to his size. Every tiny vibration of her body was driving him insane.

Sylvain forced himself to regulate his heart rate. He did not want their lovemaking to end too quickly. He fucked her with long, deep thrusts, savouring every sight, sound and sensation. Her bright hair fanned across the pillow; her eyes grew unfocussed as her body shuddered delightfully with every thrust; and her cries of pleasure became steadily more delirious.

Pushing himself up onto his hands, he watched the joining of their bodies with greedy fascination. The pink ruffles of her folds stretched tightly around his cock, which glistened wetly with her slick. He raised his head to see that she was watching him with a mixture of curiosity and scrutiny.

‘I can see your pretty head working on something, Professor…’

Instant regret followed those words. It was as if he finally made her conscious of her openness. A strong pulse of emotions escaped her. They struck him intuitively as shame… and guilt. Emotions that Sylvain was more familiar with than most.

The old mask of her impassivity was sliding back into place. All the warmth began to seep out of her body. The intimacy in her attentions to him receded into a sanctuary much like his own.

All else forgotten, he collapsed forward, nearly crushing her in his distress. ‘Byleth, please forgive me! I truly didn’t intend to hurt you. I’m sorry my words hurt you. Please tell me what to do to fix it…’ He kissed her desperately, whispered apologies over and over; trying to coax her back to him. But he knew it was already too late. She stroked his hair gently from his forehead.

‘You haven’t hurt me at all. You are the one who has been kindest to me. Thank you, Sylvain.’

‘Why do you say it like that? Please…’

‘I realise now, what she meant. You are such a kind person. I wouldn’t like to hurt you. By— I know she would never forgive me if I hurt you.’

‘I don’t understand,’ Sylvain said miserably. ‘Who are you talking about? Who is she?’ On the edge of tears again, he tried in vain to sound light-hearted. It was a pathetic attempt. ‘I’m a big boy, Professor. I can risk being hurt, especially if it’s by you.’

Her lip trembled visibly. ‘No… it will be like before.’ He saw her eyes shift to gaze at the fresco on the ceiling. Sylvain climbed off her and laid down beside her instead, pulling the sheets and quilt over them both. Trying to hold onto her closeness and comfort a little longer, he laid his head on her shoulder, and she leaned her head against his. When he reached for her hand, their fingers intertwined, and their linked hands came to rest on her stomach.

Sylvain followed Byleth’s gaze to the fresco. He had glanced at it with vague interest before, but never taken particular note of it.

A woman in a dark blue gown stood inside a cloister. The vaulted ceiling was supported by colonnades of slender fluted columns. Through the columns on the right was a walled garden. The left opened out to a wild, tangled forest, rendered in deep shades of green and black. A gigantic grey wolf stood at the edge of the forest. The artist had captured an odd feeling of apprehension.

For the first time, the labour imbued in the left side of the fresco came to his attention. The wolf’s fur was intricately detailed with under-layers of black, white and steel blue. He was struck by the thought that the beast’s gaze was keenly human. Fierce, hungry… transfixed. Following the line of its vision, he realised that two gazes met on the same plane. The woman was looking back. The artist’s attention to light and shadow distinctly angled her body towards the wolf. Her form was caught in the act of entering the forest. She was going to the beast.

Maybe it was his proclivity for tragic romance, but Sylvain was convinced that underlying the beast’s ferocity was something like… yearning. He wondered if the woman was the archetypal hind. The unattainable lover.

 _Noli me tangere_ … _‘for the King’s I am’_ …

Sylvain’s self-deprecation was particularly bitter as he looked once more at the woman’s figure. Was it his subconscious inability to dispel the guilt that he was betraying his friend?

Sylvain wondered what Byleth was seeing… would she see the same things he did? Or something completely different? He followed the trajectory of her gaze, which was also fixed upon the woman in blue. There was a similar covetousness reflected on her face, then her eyes travelled to the wolf. Sylvain was not expecting the way her features distorted with fury and hatred. When she spoke, her voice betrayed a wretched loathing.

‘Will he love or ravage her, do you think?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always delightful ♥ I appreciate feedback very much!


	25. Love Will Tear Us Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting with Viscount Kleiman. Ferdinand reflects on the path he chose, and his friendship with Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: minor blood and violence. Non-graphic depictions of physical violence/implied torture, single description of injury. No gore.

// Ferdinand //

The Viscount raised his head from where he sat on the dank stone floor. His wrists were manacled and chained to the stone wall. A middle-aged, strongly built man; a day in a jail cell had done little to break him. His eyes travelled between the two of them as he climbed to his feet.

Ferdinand was struck by the uneasy feeling that coming here alone had been a mistake. Felix’s reasoning had seemed valid at the time: Dimitri and Rodrigue’s closeness to the late King gave the Viscount a weapon against them. Dimitri was unpredictable; too susceptible to goading and manipulation. ‘Dimitri and the old man will only get in the way. I am tired of only being answered in riddles. This could be our one chance to learn the truth.’

‘Fraldarius’s boy,’ the Viscount murmured, his gazing honing in on Felix. ‘Like father, like son… Your family have always been loyal dogs.’

Ferdinand stepped in quickly. ‘Viscount Kleiman, we wish only to talk…’

‘Yes, I have been anticipating this visit, although I had expected His Highness himself to be here. Rodrigue too, for that matter. Where are they?’ The man’s eyes were keenly curious.

‘I don’t give a fuck what you expected. I want the names of those involved nine years ago, who enlisted you, and what they hoped to achieve,’ Felix interjected before Ferdinand could continue. Upon reflection, Ferdinand felt that was for the best. A hastily contrived explanation would likely have been unwise.

‘I see your father neglected your lessons in negotiation, pup!’ Viscount Kleiman began to laugh.

Unexpectedly, Felix’s own harsh laugh accompanied his, and the Viscount’s amusement faltered. When Felix spoke, the calm in his voice felt eerie. ‘If I was here to negotiate, perhaps those lessons may have been valuable. I’ve told you what I want to know.’

‘I see. This is an interrogation then. So that is why you came without your father. The pup is wiser than he appears.’ The Viscount looked at Felix with more interest now. ‘Rodrigue never had the stomach for the dirty work.’

‘Give me their names.’

‘An honourable man, Lord Rodrigue. If I recall correctly, he had another son. You had an older brother, did you not? Yes, he died with the King.’

‘Who was responsible?’

‘High-born, incorruptible… unrealistic. A noble Knight of Faerghus, just like your father.’ Viscount Kleiman’s voice held an edge of derision. ‘Was it the younger pup who learned to bite?’

‘Who was responsible?’ Felix repeated.

Ferdinand recognised that Felix’s composure did not extend far beneath the surface. They had anticipated Kleiman using his brother to bait him, but Ferdinand was fearful that anticipation had not been enough.

‘Or are you just another dog willing to die for his master…’

Ferdinand blanched at the dull, heavy sound of Felix’s boot connecting with the man’s gut. The Viscount dropped to his knees, retching violently though nothing came from his mouth.

‘When you speak again, don’t fucking waste your breath. Tell me who they were.’

‘There can no longer be a need for your silence,’ Ferdinand implored, attempting to appeal to the man’s reason.

The Viscount made a noise that was partway between wheeze and chuckle. ‘I do not… need to speak to you.’

The second time, a spurt of clear liquid sprayed onto the filthy floor and dribbled down the Viscount’s chin. His forehead hit the ground as his body folded over, manacled hands clutching against his stomach.

Ferdinand gripped Felix’s arm in horror. ‘This cannot be necessary! As a member of the nobility, surely… if we were to try and understand his motivations…’

Felix’s eyes were hard and unfeeling. ‘A noble title doesn’t change anything, even if it had been his birthright instead of the profit of genocide. He was a soldier of fortune; a mere pawn. He holds nothing of value besides his knowledge of the players with higher stakes.’ Ferdinand still held on tightly to Felix’s arm. Felix clasped his hand briefly over Ferdinand’s and spoke with finality: ‘I came here prepared for this. Monsters only recognise the language of violence. It was never going to be a conversation over tea.’

‘The pup is right,’ the Viscount coughed, straightening his torso again. Meeting Ferdinand’s eyes, his mouth curved into a smile. ‘He honours me… not expecting me to… roll over like a good dog.’ Felix’s brutal kick landed against ribs with an audible crunch, then his fist followed, colliding with the man’s jaw. Unable to use his hands to stabilise himself, the Viscount fell over on his side, barely suppressing the guttural cry that escaped him.

‘You see? This place breeds imbecility,’ Felix spat bitterly. ‘I can see that I disappoint you. But… I know this is my task.’

It was human intent that pushed violence over into violation.

The urgency of action in battle bred a subconscious disregard of anything outside your survival, the survival of your allies, and pressing onward. His acceptance of that was implicit and natural because he had been trained _for_ war. ‘Killing’ an enemy amounted to making sure they could not, reasonably, attack him a second time. Deliverance of death on the battlefield could not always be clean. Ferdinand’s own spear left many to die of excruciating injuries, not out of cruelty, but tacit justification.

Transposed onto a different backdrop, a damaged human body became an atrocity.

The force of his strike propelled Felix’s body straight through the sudden glare of illumination as his crest blazed into life. The sickening crack of bone shattering was muffled, swallowed by the weighted stillness of underground air.

Felix staggered back a few steps, boots tracking dark, wet smears over the grey stone tiles. The Viscount’s left shin was bent at a grisly angle that made Ferdinand sick to his stomach. A thick splinter of bone erupted through the front of Kleiman’s leg, like some horrific jagged tooth. The man’s scream became clogged up by putrid bile, as it filled his mouth and spilled over his already soiled shirt.

It did not require significant self-reflection to accept that he had expected this; he _knew_ it would come to this. When Felix said he prepared himself for the eventuality, the guilty realisation struck Ferdinand that he expected it of Felix all along.

They all looked on as Felix made the sacrifices that allowed Prince Dimitri to cling to his mental stability. Felix was doing the same for him now: affording him the solace— no, selfish privilege of his noble principles. Ferdinand knew fate would one day present a personal quandary; when he would either uphold his ethics, or experience the very failure he condemned others for.

The acceptance of failure came easily for once.

'…idealistic reformer…

cleansing

blind!

rich poor poor rich…’

Hubert von Vestra’s face resurfaced from his memory. In a rare moment of connection, a younger Ferdinand was offered a glimpse into Hubert’s perception of his own being. Ferdinand had been moved to tears by the heroic figure cast in the scene - Hubert living and battling in the shadows so that Edelgard may walk in the light. Now, all that image conjured was its inherent tragedy.

Beneath his complex machinations, Hubert’s motivations were simple. Hubert loved Edelgard.

However, his love was inextricable from his subservience. Hubert’s consuming desire was to help Edelgard seize _her_ destiny. Hubert would willingly sacrifice anything for the demands of her will, if he believed it may lead to her fulfilment.

‘no regret.’

It was not a simple class transfer that delivered him to the present time; among Kingdom nobility, fighting in the Kingdom army, following no clear course. Another path in time existed which would have naturally situated him in Edelgard’s ranks, fighting for the Empire a part of him still loved. His vision of Felix’s face blurred with tears. The weight of realisation crushed him - at some time in the past, Ferdinand stood upon the precipice of a future that seemed unendurable to him now.

How heartbreaking to imagine seeing Felix’s face from the opposite end of a battlefield and not feeling anything. Unless Felix (likely) killed him first, would Ferdinand kill _him_? Even Rodrigue?

‘last one left.’

Felix had endless criticisms of his father, but to Ferdinand, Rodrigue was the kind of father he had longed for: a brave knight, a man of principles, a leader who fought for what he believed was just. A father who sought an emotional connection with his family, who loved his wife and treated her with respect… a father who listened to what Ferdinand said as if it really mattered… a father who laughed…

His relationship with Duke Aegir had been detached and impersonal. He was merely the son Duke Aegir chose to legitimise, and groom as his successor, because luck bestowed him with their family’s hereditary Crest of Cichol.

Because he followed this path, the workings of the Goddess brought him a family. Did they see him in the same way?

Ferdinand believed the points at which his fate diverged occurred at the micro level of human interconnection. It went beyond ethos or ideals. It was in individual relationships, emotional attachments and the bonds of intimacy, affinity and resulting loyalty. Joining the Blue Lions gave him the chance to learn and understand that.

Perhaps similarly profound possibilities existed in his discarded futures, where he stayed with the Eagles, or joined the Golden Deer instead. However, such philosophical postulations had ceased to have meaning. The side of the battlefield that did not hold his loved ones was the wrong side. Ferdinand wanted to stay where he could cry, and Felix would be there to pat his shoulder, laugh at him, or tell him off for it. Felix helped him belong.

He listened to Ferdinand speak of his ideals, discussed political philosophy and the future that Ferdinand hoped to be a part of creating. However, when the questions turned to what drove Felix’s actions, the answers were always convoluted.

Felix did not owe subservience to Dimitri in the way Dedue did, or Hubert did to Edelgard. They were friends. He believed that Dimitri could be a ‘reasonably good king’. It would probably upset him if Dimitri died…

He harboured a deep sense of guilt for his treatment of Dimitri in the past. He protected Dimitri for Byleth, because she loved him. He followed Dimitri in the hope that his path would lead to Byleth. They could probably win the war… perhaps that would bring resolution. Or it might not.

Like Linhardt, Felix assumed his mind chose not to give conscious form to undesirable prospects. Unlike Linhardt, he did not have alternate desirable prospects. Wanting to be with Hilda was the only reason Felix needed to plan for the future, but the war made doing that feel ‘pointless’.

‘My part is not in the future. To tell the truth, I have nothing but disillusionment. All I am capable of is violence. Violence is what I am good at. My part is to fight the war, so that people like you can do the thinking when we win…’

Felix could not envision a future for himself. When he tried, all he saw was blank white emptiness.

‘I need to go wash myself. I forgot… can you have someone fetch me clean clothes? And send quietly for Linhardt to meet us here…’

‘I shall have the clothes sent to you. Leave me to take care of the rest, my friend. I shall ensure all is done properly.’

‘Thank you…’

‘I’m sorry I asked you to come with me. But I…’ Felix averted his eyes, uneasy as ever with giving voice to his emotions. ‘These past five years, you were— You are my brother. I trust you to guide me… when I lose my way.’


	26. Palimpsest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Goddess’s design. Linhardt’s way. Byleth on a summer’s day.

_The prince bore witness as the Goddess reordered the vault of heaven, relinquished Her dominion there. Each luminary and every star blazed with renewed brilliance. They were rejoicing at the ascension of the Morning Star._

* * *

Dimitri stepped into the boudoir that Linhardt availed himself of as his private study; well-situated between the library and dining hall. Linhardt cleared one of the cabriolet armchairs for him. Dimitri sat down and glanced around the room with interest. It was already transformed into a cabinet of curiosities. Every available surface was covered in esoteric objects that had caught Linhardt’s eye while exploring the palace. Dimitri spied an archaic gendarme’s armet (there was now a headless suit of armour in the long gallery), a wax figurine of a woman’s head hybridised to a bird’s body, a mysterious circular instrument of stacked brass plates, a balalaika, an ominous-looking medallion, a giant bejewelled enamel egg, and an embroidery frame bearing the emerging design of…

‘The Crest of Blaiddyd,’ Linhardt informed him, noticing Dimitri’s curiosity. ‘Needlework helps me sustain the optimal state of mind for analytical thought: a synthesis of lucidity and somnolence…’ Displacing a stray drawer of mismatched silverware, he folded his lanky frame into a nearby chair. ‘It is fortuitous that you stopped by, Your Highness. I have important matters to discuss with you. Firstly, do I _have_ to accompany you and the others to Arianrhod? Mercedes is willing to go instead but Felix is being unreasonable for some… reason. Secondly, I am beginning to formulate a theory that displays signs of incipient potential. I believe it will interest you.’

‘I have no issue with Mercedes replacing you. You may tell Felix so. What does your theory pertain to?’

Linhardt was faced with a bleak choice: _‘To forewarn or not to forewarn?’_ Frankly, they portended equally undesirable outcomes.

If forewarned, the Prince would be impatient, intractable and inevitably pace about; endangering Linhardt’s articles of intellectual interest (which he fully intended to return later). A prolonged test of forbearance for both parties.

If the Prince was not forewarned… Linhardt predicted foul weather. There was a distant possibility of losing his own life in the tempest; or worse, having to pour oil on such troubled waters. Linhardt balked at the concept of multiple complex _simultaneous_ emotions… Still, while a major traumatic event, it was at least guaranteed to be short-lived…

Linhardt briefly recounted his inferences on the Relics and their biological origin. ‘They are forged from a synthesis of umbral steel and _draconic bone_. A species of dragons inhabited Fódlan during the protohistoric period, and I think they were Sothis’s own creations. The Relics were made from their corpses, but obviously not by the Goddess. The Church erased the dragons’ existence from the annals to conceal a sinister truth: I believe the dragons were the first Crest bearers. And our ancestors slaughtered them to obtain that power for themselves. “The legend of a new age”… the Heroes.’

Dimitri received the revelation with calm acceptance. His mind recognised that revulsion, shock or some such emotion was appropriate in the circumstances. Instead, it felt natural that the extent of humans’ depravity went beyond his ken. He became engrossed again as Linhardt began to speak about the individual construction of the Relics. An anatomical illustration of a wyvern skeleton was unearthed from a pile of papers on the desk.

‘I have ascertained that Areadbhar’s blade is fashioned from the aerial bones— the dragon’s wing! The only other Relic that utilises the wing is Freikugel, Hilda’s Relic. Freikugel is made of the alar carpals and parts of the alar metacarpals, and retains the interstitial webbing. Areadbhar features a fusion of segments from the alar metacarpals and alar phalanges…’

‘Each Relic and its crest stone have an individual dragon as their source. Crest-bearing humans are biologically compatible, and safely integrate into the physiological mechanism that activates the Relic. The weapon becomes a virtual extension of your body. However, non-Crest bearers are identified as foreign entities, which initiates a biochemical homogenisation process.’

Realising that Dimitri was staring at him in blank incomprehension, Linhardt tried again. ‘The crest stone mutates the foreign body to make it uniform. Of the same kind as itself… _you_ become an extension of _it._ That is the consequence of inferior material… “incorrect” would have been a more sensitive adjective, perhaps…’

‘I see. So that is what happened to Sylvain’s brother.’

‘Precisely, Your Highness! From this point, my thoughts grow fragmented. Even so, if my theory follows, the Sword of the Creator was made from Sothis’s body. Her original form, I imagine.’

This truth did affect the Prince. A keen edge of sorrow formed around his image of the playful, temperamental Goddess. Time after time, she showed him compassion and understanding. She even sacrificed herself to protect Byleth. ‘Sothis… I expected her death to have been a cruel one, but…’ Suddenly, Dimitri’s lone blue eye widened. ‘Linhardt, does this mean that Sothis was also a dragon?!’

‘I asked the same question, at first. The mineral composition of the bone is the same, however the size and structural properties are undeniably humanoid. The bones belong to an adult female. The Sword of the Creator is also extensively augmented with umbral steel.’ Linhardt stroked his chin with a ponderous air. ‘I imagine her bones were simply too small…’

‘My conjecture is that the crest stones and her blood are the primary components Sothis requires to animate a life form. The Imperial Army employ a perversion of Sothis’s design for their demonic beasts.’

‘Demonic Beasts are unintelligent,’ Dimitri murmured. ‘Edelgard’s method produces base lifeforms that can be controlled. Brought to heel.’

‘Exactly.’ Linhardt nodded approvingly at him. ‘Sothis imbues her creatures with sentience. Crest stones are receptacles within which spirit or consciousness is manifested. Theoretically, a being entirely of Sothis’s design and construction would begin its existence as a blank slate: _tabula rasa_. The spirit awakens, animating its body.’

Dimitri’s body grew still and his eye fixed intently on the clever scholar’s face. Eager anticipation filled his chest, nearly occluding his throat.

‘If I am right, the crest stone colonises and takes over control as a body’s centre of operations. It appears to maintain that function, whether or not an existing consciousness occupies the body. A body is clearly unnecessary for Sothis’s perpetuation. However, she _does_ require a physical form to anchor her spirit in the material plane.’

‘Sothis wished for their spirits to merge. An exercise of free will, not realising that she would set in motion another act of creation. You see, Byleth’s body carried the requisite elements for genesis.’

Linhardt dug two fluff-covered coins from out of his pockets. With a coin between the thumb and forefinger of each hand, he held up the flat faces side by side.

‘This is what I believe should have happened.’ One of the coins disappeared. ‘Byleth was meant to leave. I have not yet had opportunity to contemplate the epistemological rupture her existence presents… let alone a potential paradigm shift in metaphysics!’

Dimitri’s agitation grew as he struggled to understand every second word Linhardt uttered.

The coin materialised between Linhardt’s fingers again. ‘This is what Sothis expected to happen. The moving coin represents her.’ He moved a coin to overlay the stationary one, superimposing it. ‘She believed it would allow her spirit to be subsumed into Byleth’s. They would become a unified whole. However, this event was transient. I visualise it as an astronomical eclipse.’ Linhardt had to contort his hands to demonstrate “Sothis” continuing her path past “Byleth”.

‘In the transient state of their eclipse, Sothis transcended the confines of her crest stone for the briefest moment. Liminality. Neither within or without. It was enough for her crest stone to become a viable receptacle again. That is my theory of the phenomenon that resulted in Ceres’s birth.’

‘Byleth’s body is now constituted of organic matter homogenous with Sothis’s crest stone and her original physical form. She is a functional vessel for the awakened power of the Goddess. Those who call Byleth the “Chosen One” would doubtless describe it as transfiguration. I would class it as a transmutation. A process that altered Byleth to satisfy the biological needs of Sothis’s being. She did not simply become a nondescript magical entity. She metamorphosed into the anthropoid species Sothis belonged to.’

The carved wooden arm of Dimitri’s chair cracked in his grip. Only his thick gloves kept his hands from being impaled by the splinters. ‘My beloved…’ His voice trembled with a vehement rage that concerned Linhardt a little. ‘Not only did the demon desecrate her mind— it _violated_ her body! It is unforgivable! I keep telling Byleth but she will not listen! Can what was done to her be reversed? Did you learn how to kill it?!’

‘Your Highness, I doubt Ceres controlled any of it.’ Linhardt winced at the look of outrage that was directed at him but pressed on bravely. ‘If anyone deserves the blame, it is Archbishop Rhea. She is the reason that Byleth’s blood is the blood of the Goddess, after all.’

* * *

Dimitri passed the halcyon summer before his eighteenth birthday in a state of sun-drenched languor and reckless indulgence.

The two hours that followed lunch. Linhardt and Professor Byleth adhered religiously to their self-authorised siesta. It was universally known that they were not to be awakened unless in the direst of circumstances. After a time, Byleth eventually made an exception.

Dimitri walked a short distance behind her, his throat growing dry with desire. Byleth unlocked her door and glanced over her shoulder, wearing the alluring smile he knew was just for him.

The door was left slightly ajar. All thoughts of caution abandoned, Dimitri ran the last few steps. He slammed the door shut behind him… to his extreme dismay, the door latch snapped away in his impatient hand. Shame paralysed him. He prepared himself for the contempt and reproach that would inevitably follow…

They did not come.

Light-hearted laughter summoned his hesitant gaze to her. Eyes shimmering with affection, Byleth took the unfortunate latch from his hand.

‘I am so sorry, Professor…’

‘It’s alright, Dimitri. Latches are for weaklings.’

His mouth quirked into a small smile. ‘I have never heard you speak like that before, Professor.’

‘They are the words of Felix Hugo Fraldarius the next Shield of Faerghus! Which is concerning…’

She tossed the latch into the corner behind the door, and just like that, she dispelled the darkness that enveloped him.

Dimitri lifted her up into his arms, devouring her tempting mouth. Her fingertips traced the line of his jaw, the corner of his mouth… he sank into the nebulous world that came into being beyond the threshold of her room. The sounds of chatter and laughter, doors opening, people coming and going, doors shutting, the familiar voice from the room overhead; they receded to the edges of his awareness, like the ebb of the tide.

They flung their clothes carelessly onto the floor. Byleth tumbled onto her bed with a pleased sigh, giving praise for glorious nakedness and respite from the heat outdoors. Held in thrall by the sight of her languid body stretched out on the bed, he joined her. When she turned her face and smiled drowsily at him, the rush of his adoration and arousal made him light-headed.

A soft hiss of breath escaped her when his reverent fingers followed the midline of her body. From the delicate hollow of her throat, moving to linger in the gap between her breasts— curious about her heart that did not beat— along the taut muscled plane of her stomach, dipping a finger lightly into her navel… the glimpse of it under her shirt always tantalised him… Byleth’s body intoxicated him. His fingers continued into the enticing triangle of dark hair between her thighs. She sighed, her body arching languorously. Her eyes closed and her lashes fluttered against his cheeks when he leaned over and kissed her.

‘I still can't believe that you want me…’

‘Hmm, why is that?’ Hazy blue eyes reopened and focussed slowly.

Dimitri was mortified for uttering something that must seem thoroughly banal to her. Her forefinger brushed gently across his bottom lip, and her eyes softened when he kissed it. Then words began to pour uncontrollably from within his chest.

‘I have wanted you for so long, beloved… From the first moment, when I saw you step out of the house in Remire. I saw all my other paths and futures cease to exist that day. I saw _our_ future! My fate is to follow you and love you. My strength is yours alone. I will always fight as you command. I will kill anyone should you ask it of me. You don’t know how I burn for you! I will do anything to make you mine… so you will never leave me…’ Horrified, Dimitri bit his tongue to force himself to stop.

Byleth said nothing. Dimitri knew he had revealed his intemperate obsession. His eyes burned hot with miserable tears and his vision of her blurred.

‘Please forgive me, Professor.’ He took his repulsive hands from her body, but could not bear to move away. ‘I-I am unhinged! Just as Felix keeps telling everyone. I know you see who I am now. I knew I was unworthy, I knew nothing could escape my curse… but I kept praying that you would love me. I should have known ours is a fate without destiny… but I still wanted it so desperately. I can still see nothing but you…’

His tears fell onto Byleth’s face… It seemed like she was crying with him.

‘Dimitri.’ Her hands came to cradle his face, but he lacked the courage to meet her eyes. ‘I know who you are.’

‘You don’t, Professor! You don’t know what I am capable of doing— what I _have_ done! You don’t know the things that live inside me!’

‘That is true, I don’t know those parts of you… but Dimitri, do you know what _I_ am capable of? The things I’ve done, and will probably do again? Also…’ In his periphery, her mouth curved into a smile and he could look away no longer. ‘I understand more than you might guess about having things live inside me.’

She tilted his chin gently, moving her lips up to meet his. Dimitri melted into her tender kiss, his body trembling from his wonder and disbelief. When she moved away, her smiling mouth and chin were damp from his tears. He broke down, crumpling into her arms, bodies tangled in each other. Byleth held him while he sobbed against her throat.

‘Can you truly be real?’

‘Do you want me to be?’

‘Yes, more than anything.’

‘Then I will be.’

Eventually his sobs quieted and his tears dried up. Dimitri laid his head on the pillow beside her, and she turned onto her side to face him. She caressed his cheek while he gazed at her adoringly.

‘I saw three futures that day. I chose the one where you stayed with me, Dimitri.’

* * *

_During the month of Her Rebirth, the Goddess disrupted the empyrean tides for a second time._

_Long enthralled by the invocations of a distant voice, the bringer of light finally made her descent. She alighted before the forsaken prince whose eyes had ever gazed upwards, waiting for her to fall from the heavens…_

_He implored her to entrust her heart to his possession. To walk the earth at his side and pass her life with him._

_So the Evening Star took the heart from her chest and bestowed it upon him._

* * *

Dimitri sat in front of the fire, watching the flames cast flickering shadows on the carpet. A dark turbulence unsettled his mind. Beyond his window, the night was filled with whispers. Reminding him of the ceaseless voices that haunted his younger self.

Even his ghosts changed when she walked in their midst.

When Byleth arrived, she moved into his embrace wordlessly and he pulled her into his lap. The tickling sensation of her hair, the brush of her lips on his throat, the indelible imprint of her that his body always carried… Dimitri was coming apart from his love and anguish. Byleth’s arms held his fragmenting form together.

His arms were not enough to make her stay with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos always make me happy xxx


	27. Strength VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theatre of the mind. Possession (Dimitri/Byleth).

// Sylvain //

Being the heirs of the Kingdom’s foremost aristocratic houses— ‘The Golden Triangle of Blaiddyd, Gautier and Fraldarius’ as little Sylvain had dubbed them— they had learned their “duties” when they were children. At least, he and Glenn did. Dimitri and Felix were still uninterested in anything besides their weapons; unaware of what a girl was, let alone what procreation meant. After all, it took them until they were seventeen to seek out their wise older brother, Sylvain, for his guidance. Dimitri was embarrassed, but painfully earnest. Felix was embarrassed, but still belligerent.

They both circumvented his contemptible spiral into self-fulfilling prophecy. To think _Felix_ was the first of them to be engaged! Felix asking someone to marry him (and actually being accepted) was the greatest miracle Sylvain would live to see! If he had not already seen Byleth cut open the sky.

It was impossible to think of one without the other.

_Byleth Dimitri Dimitri Byleth Byleth Dimitri._

More of her students loved their brave, beautiful Professor Byleth than she realised, but there was only one she loved in return…

‘Your Highness, please recognise that I have your best interests at heart. There is little time before we march south. Goddess willing, it will not come to pass; but we must prepare in the event that the worst does happen. Should you die without an heir, the royal bloodline of House Blaiddyd will become extinct, and Faerghus will devolve into anarchy. I have a dossier of candidates from noble families…’

Gilbert’s indiscretion left a foul taste in Sylvain’s mouth. In the unfortunate absence of a relative or adviser better suited to every task, the plodding knight was hellbent on restoring the monarchy all by himself. Dimitri’s vacant gaze remained fixed to a point on the black ebony table, showing no indication that he heard Gilbert’s words. Sylvain noticed the unusual flurry of reaction from several onlookers instead.

The suddenness of the announcement had shaken Marianne, who appeared to shrink beneath her familiar guilt. As if she blamed herself for anything vaguely unpleasant that occurred in her vicinity. Somehow, Sylvain felt as if her distress was strangely out of place.

Mercedes managed to hide her discomfiture quickly, but could do nothing disguise her bloodless complexion. Darting looks passed between her, Marianne and Professor Manuela, then to Byleth.

She rarely looked directly at Dimitri these days; but she was at that moment, a peculiar expression on her face. _‘Is she upset by Gilbert’s words? Is that why the others are so concerned? Does she want to be at Dimitri’s side again?’_ The images conjured by his nostalgia had stung slightly, but his jealous misery right then constricted his lungs. _‘How can I just let go of her again? We are not the same as we were in the past. Must I go back to suppressing my feelings? I told her that I love her. Will that mean anything to her?’_

These days, Felix’s interactions with the Prince were categorically amicable. Sylvain had been too preoccupied to stick his nose into such matters as he usually did. Hilda glanced across the table at Felix. Unlike Mercedes and the others, his attention was fixed completely on the Prince. Sylvain could not recall a single instance when Felix’s concern had been for Dimitri over Byleth; yet he did not look at her even once.

Linhardt’s usual lack of concern was imperceptibly strained; his eyes alert and trained on Dimitri’s face. Even Ferdinand… Sylvain saw his casual posture tense and his attention shift from oblivious Caspar to Felix, and then to the head of the war table. They were all on edge, as if expecting to be on their feet any moment. If nothing else, Sylvain knew he was capable enough to recognise when something else was at play.

_‘Something is wrong…’_

‘You have known your responsibilities since you were a boy, Your Highness. You understand that it is your duty.’ In the face of Dimitri’s dissociation, Gilbert spoke louder. ‘It is your sovereign duty to ensure the future stability of the throne. For your people…’

‘No.’ Dimitri’s voice was quiet, but the glacial edge to it nearly made Sylvain wince.

‘Your Highness, this is no trivial matter! Everything we accomplished will come to naught! You are the last surviving member of House Blaiddyd. If you do not sire an heir, the Blaiddyd bloodline will be lost!’

Dimitri rose abruptly from his chair, shaking violently from some indecipherable emotion. ‘Why do you insist on tormenting me?! I will not repeat myself.’ He turned, making to leave the room.

‘I _must_ insist, Your Highness! As one who has served House Blaiddyd for most of my life, I cannot bear to watch it perish! I am not even asking that you choose a wife— only that you consider your preference of consorts…’

The anguished howl that ripped out of their future King’s chest was unearthly.

Annette and Marianne’s terrified screams were drowned out by a deep, resonant crack as Dimitri’s fist crashed onto the cynosure of the War Room. The ancient black ebony table had long signified the legendary strength of the Blaiddyd kings. The historic war council for the War of the Eagle and Lion had gathered around it. A time-honoured monument that predated the nation’s founding and the King of Lions, himself… Sylvain despised it.

With a deep rumble that reverberated through the walls, the colossus collapsed inward; sundered in two by the majestic fissure that ran its entire length.

People flung themselves backwards from their seats. An awed whistle escaped Sylvain’s lips, but Ingrid was too stunned to clobber him for ‘egging His Highness on’.

‘YOU WILL NEVER DISRESPECT HER AGAIN!!! I WILL NEVER LET ANYONE TAINT HER PLACE! I SHOULD TEAR THE VILE TONGUE FROM YOUR HEAD!’

‘Father!!! Your Highness, please don’t hurt him!’ Annette’s shrieks pierced through the bedlam that broke out in the war room. The unnerved old knight found himself dangling above the ground; feet kicking uselessly, with Dimitri’s hand wrapped around his throat.

‘WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE? DID YOU BRING ME HOME ONLY TO RETURN ME TO MY PRISON?! TO FORCE ME TO BREED FOR YOU?! I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOUR FUCKING WHORES…’

Felix and Ferdinand reached the Prince first. Either bravely or foolishly they gripped his arms, Felix yelling at him to let the old man go. Even their combined strength barely made him budge. In spite of his shaking, he remained in control. Gilbert’s neck would have already been crushed otherwise.

‘If you insist that I must be King, then leave me in peace! _My people_ will wait for her, they waited for her all this time… I know it…’

‘Connie!!!’ Hilda’s urgent cry rang out.

The startled Constance cast her Rescue spell and delivered Gilbert to their side; on his knees and wheezing for breath.

Linhardt’s emerald-green hair materialised near Dimitri’s elbow. He spoke in a low, easy voice that seemed to reach through Dimitri’s half-conscious state. Sylvain could not discern what was said, but Dimitri relaxed enough for Felix to drag him towards the doors… until his gaze fell on Byleth.

The ice-blue eye burned a searing path across the room. Enshrouded in his heavy mantle of filthy black and white fur, incandescent fury emanating from his body like a halo… the lines of Dimitri’s form warped uncannily between man and beast… the phantasmal silhouette of a great wolf.

Sylvain and Ingrid’s bodies moved instinctively to defend their leader, their tall frames obscuring Byleth’s smaller figure. Dimitri did not even notice them. It was Felix’s eyes that met theirs instead. Sylvain’s heart warned him that this moment signalled a division he could prevent. He could sense that Ingrid shared his thought. How could they stand against Dimitri, the friend of their childhood days… their King? And yet, Sylvain also wanted to stay with _her._ He knew if she asked him that he would always choose her. Byleth had never led them astray.

The one thing he never anticipated was that Felix would not choose her too.

‘Dimitri…’ Sylvain tried to speak, but he had waited too long.

‘ _YOU_ … YOU TOOK BYLETH AWAY FROM ME!!! YOU DEFILED HER! KNOW THAT I WILL CUT YOU OUT OF HER AND SEND YOU TO THE ETERNAL FLAMES! I WAIT FOR THE DAY I FINALLY SEE YOU BURN!!!’

‘Sylvain, what was His Highness talking about?’ Ingrid turned on him as soon as Dimitri had left with Felix, Ferdinand and Linhardt in tow. Hilda seemed conflicted but ultimately chose to remain. 'Professor?’ Ingrid’s voice held a more hesitant note when she appealed to Byleth. ‘Was he talking about the two of you…?’

Sylvain’s insides went cold at Ingrid’s words. ‘Ingrid, no… I would never betray Dimitri. I know you think I’m despicable, but nothing like that ever happened…’ Unless it wasn’t the past that Dimitri was referring to.

‘Yeah, that’s totally not it!’ Hilda interjected, looking at Byleth oddly. ‘Dimitri didn’t make any sense at all. Wasn’t he looking at _you_ , Professor?’

Byleth’s dazed expression cleared. Green eyes darted towards Hilda, then to Sylvain’s distraught face; he watched them soften before she locked eyes with Ingrid. ‘Have more faith in your friend, Ingrid. Sylvain has nothing to do with it. Dimitri was talking to me.’ Her stiff demeanour crumbled and the expression of a trapped animal flashed across her face. ‘Please give me some time…’

Sylvain reached for her hand but she was too fast. The others parted quickly to let her pass, then watched in confusion as she ran from the room.

* * *

// Dimitri //

Byleth was sitting on the carpet by the fireplace, warming herself while she combed her long hair. It had grown again. Dimitri laid his head in her lap and she stroked his head gently while he cried, pouring out his agony and wretchedness to her.

‘Please, Professor… please, Byleth, take me with you! Why can’t I come with you? I just want to come to you… please…’

His tears seeped through the long white dress she was wearing. The wet cloth clung to her thighs, translucent, revealing the faint colour of skin beneath.

‘Dima, I don’t think you can be where I am. It is not a place for the living or the dead. I am so sorry I can’t be at your side… it is selfish of me to hold onto you like this.’ Her voice trembled slightly as her other hand moved in soothing circles between his shoulder blades. ‘Even when I see the pain I cause you… I keep coming back. I prevent you from moving on. I don’t want you to forget me…’

Terror made his fingers clench into her dress. Dimitri sobbed even harder when his brutish fingers ripped the cloth. ‘Please don’t leave me! If you leave, I swear I will not live a moment longer. I will be alone again. If you leave me, I will end it all! The curse of my blood will end with me! I am a monster… is that why you want to leave me?! Please don’t leave me again! Promise me!!!’

‘Shh, I promise I will not leave you. I’m sorry for saying those things… I was being foolish. I know I will never choose to leave you. They would have to tear me away.’ Byleth bent down and kissed the back of his head. The sensation of her lips caused more tears to soak her dress. Her promise reassured him instantly. He just wanted to hear her promise. He would do anything, as long as she always came back to him.

Dimitri rolled onto his back and settled his head comfortably in her lap, smiling up at her while she brushed the tears from his cheeks. Her own lips curved into a bright smile in return.

He loved her.

‘You know, Dimitri, all humans are monsters. People ascribe the name to the ones who show it in a certain way. Some people never even consider that _their_ way might be monstrous. Your strength doesn’t make you a monster. It is what you choose to do with it. That’s what I think, anyway.’

Dimitri mulled her words over in his head while he played with her hair, weaving the dark strands through his fingers. ‘What do you want me to use it for? A noble purpose, like Ferdinand would?’

Byleth tapped his nose with a thoughtful expression. ‘Well, you are asking someone who shares Felix’s philosophy! Grow strong so you may live, and live to grow stronger! Strength is for fighting, and I only fight to _win_. That’s all there is to it. A real fight is a game with no rules. When the game begins, strength is what helps you win. I want you always to fight to win, Dimitri. Everything else is a privilege for those who win. If you lose, you die… and when you die, the game ends.’

‘…What if I just want to stay here with you like this?’ Dimitri asked petulantly. That made her laugh and his heart soared in response.

‘If that is what will make you happiest! I want you to choose what will make you happy.’

‘You already know what I choose then…’

Byleth wrinkled her nose. ‘Ugh, that made me want to tease you so badly, but I couldn’t think of anything witty enough… oof!’

Luckily, Dimitri did not require much strength to get his surprised, laughing beloved onto her back. Then he kissed her until she was too breathless to think.

Byleth lay underneath him, dark hair spread out around her and gleaming in the firelight. Blue eyes still slightly glazed… her mouth was unbearably erotic, lips reddened from his forceful kisses…

‘So beautiful…’

He kissed her more tenderly, allowing her breathing to slow again. She closed her eyes, chest still heaving, while he undressed her. His own armour and clothing fell away piece by piece. Dimitri’s head swam at her touch on his bare skin, her hands moving over his chest and back, tracing the hard muscles of his shoulders, then down his arms…

_‘Tell me you are mine.’ He placed a light kiss on the tip of her left nipple, then took it in his mouth. She shivered when it hardened against his tongue. Dimitri needed her reassurance constantly. He needed her to remember too…_

‘I am yours, Dima. I have been from the day you asked me to be.’ The spectacle of Byleth’s smile would never lose the power to make the world stand still. ‘How could I even think of anyone else? It takes all of me to satisfy your demands!’

That pleased him inordinately. Then his teeth attacked her hard nipple; she had to be punished for her teasing. Byleth curled up into a whimpering ball, but he rolled her back instantly. Her pleas for mercy died away…

_As his tongue spread the delicate ruffles between her legs, a perpetual despondency returned… ‘I always wonder… I wish I knew your taste, Professor.’ A tremor ran through her body at his words, followed by a surge of wetness from her core that only intensified his lust and longing. His sweet professor’s thighs were shaking around his head…_

her toes curled, raking long stripes on his back.

‘Dimitri…’

_Byleth’s arms reached for him, calling him to her. Rising onto his hands, he slid up over her body and into her embrace. Feeling a mixture of shy, devious and emboldened by arousal, he tilted his hips in the way he had discovered… her spine curved in a glorious arch that brought her body up to meet his._

_His professor was unreal. His warrior goddess! The ideal object of his every boyhood fantasy. That childish impression was too shameful to ever admit to her, though._

‘You will have a wife some day, yourself,’ Lambert explained to his serious young son. ‘I hope you choose someone who is wise and kind, as well as beautiful.’ He turned to look up at Patricia, and she gave him a small smile.

‘Hmph!’ Felix scornfully rolled his eyes. ‘I think you should choose someone strong! If _I_ must have a wife, I’d choose one who is a good fighter. Why should I waste my time if she can’t even spar with me?’

‘Felix, that is enough!’ Rodrigue said crossly. ‘And how many times must I tell you not to swing your sword indoors?!’

_And yet she_ **was** _real. The moment she became his dream was the advent of his awakening. Byleth existed; she was every latent amorphous desire that Dimitri learned he was capable of… and once he understood, the only way was a headlong plunge onward._

 _His romantic yearning for her quickly became sexual. Dimitri longed to touch her. He wanted more than the touches he stole during their sparring, or when she accepted his arm. He wanted to know her body in a way others could not… he wanted his deity to choose_ **him** _._

With a surge of her own strength, she flipped him over onto his back, and sat triumphantly on top of him. He was breathless, watching Byleth toss her hair over her shoulders…

_He groaned eagerly when her hand wrapped around his hard length. Rising onto her knees, she guided him inside her, biting her lip to suppress her moans as he thrust up into her impatiently._

_Dimitri seized hold of her hips, and fucked her relentlessly, finally losing control of his consuming need. He gripped Byleth’s chin roughly. ‘Stop doing that!’ His vehemence made her eyes widen in confusion. ‘I want to hear you!’_

_Greed stirred within him, watching her sultry panting mouth; wracked with pleasure every time his name fell from her gorgeous swollen lips. Her heavenly body took him deep inside. Accepted him completely, just as he had dreamed. Coming undone from the pleasure_ **he** _made her feel._

The convergence of his unabating pace, the reverie of her nakedness and her unrestrained delight in their lovemaking, plunged Dimitri into devastating ecstasy. Through the haze of delirium, he felt her walls clench around his cock as her climax overtook her.

_His strength gave way. Recklessly embracing a long-held desire, he held Byleth’s hips down tightly as his vision turned white. Shuddering with the intensity of his prolonged orgasm, a laugh of breathless exhilaration burst out of his chest._

_Dimitri gazed beatifically at his goddess, delighting in filling her womb. It was the most incredible euphoria he had ever felt. A deep, possessive satisfaction spread to every inch of his being as he made sure her body took every last drop of his seed. Then she fell forward into his arms, weak and shaking with pleasure. Her sultry, loose-limbed form draped over his body while they traded slow, lingering kisses. She was heaven._

_‘Byleth?’_

_‘Mmm?’_

_‘Are you upset with me?’_

_‘I’m not upset with you.’ She brushed his blond bangs from his forehead and kissed it. ‘I should have started taking precautions earlier. I will be more careful next time.’_

_That answer did not please him._

_He laid his hand on the flat plane of her stomach, imagining what she would look like if it swelled and grew round… He kissed it tenderly, chaotic emotions swirling inside his head._

_She belonged with him. They were going to be together. Why should she be careful? What would it matter if anyone found out? Dimitri wanted them all to know that_ **he** _was the one she chose. That it was_ **his** _child she carried inside her. In one more way, he could make her his._

_‘If you became pregnant, would you bear my child?’ he asked, looking up at her earnestly._

_Byleth’s expression was inscrutable while she considered his question. ‘I’m not sure. I would have to think about it,’ she replied eventually, her hand moving and interlocking their fingers. Seeing his crestfallen face, her lips quirked into a smile of amusement and understanding._

_‘If they would be born into a safe world, where they were welcome… then, maybe.’_

_‘Do you love me?’_

_That question held his whole heart within it. Vivid azure eyes met his, holding him in their thrall. He felt their subtle inquiry drifting through him, gentle and unobtrusive. Dimitri embraced it, received it gladly. His love for Byleth was truthful and sincere. He realised his faith that his goddess would see it. Maybe it would be enough for her to judge him worthy._

_‘I love you.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos and feedback are always wonderful. Thanks for reading! x


	28. The Hierophant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remembrance of times past. Tales of Nabatea.

‘I am so tired… I wish I had never woken up. I am so lonely. The pain isn’t going away. Every day, I just wait to see you, praying and praying that you won’t forget me. I am so sorry that I was born, I am so s-sorry that I am here! I keep wishing for it all to end… How long will I be here? You are the only one who cares about me… I love you, Byleth… it hurts so much when you’re not here…’

Laying her head in Byleth’s lap, Ceres cried in broken, wracking sobs until she had no breath left to cry with; heaving and shuddering soundlessly, clenching her fists into Byleth’s tear-drenched gown. Byleth brushed her sea-green hair, gently combing through the matted, tangled strands. Her own voice congested with unshed tears, Byleth hummed the familiar, soothing refrain that had lulled her in her dreams for as long as she could remember.

The repercussions of Rhea’s actions, and Byleth’s heedless thirst for blood, continued to twist and warp the lives of the ones left in their wake.

* * *

_There was an unfamiliar tightness within her chest as she walked back over the cathedral bridge. The conversation with Edelgard hung heavy in her mind, overlaid by Dimitri’s words when they met earlier in the courtyard. She consigned the thoughts and the strange stinging sensation to the vault of things she preferred to avoid that night. Tomorrow… Jeralt was coming home tomorrow. It was all going to be alright. Byleth had never missed her father as intensely as she did in that moment._

_Looking up ahead, she saw Sylvain through the gloom. He was leaning against the cool stone wall, watching her with curious eyes._

_‘Good evening, Professor. I expected you to be held up in the Goddess Tower until morning. What with all the young nobles lining up to offer you their hearts! I considered joining them… very briefly.’_

_That drew a laugh from Byleth, and Sylvain grinned, folding his arms casually behind his head._

_‘Care to stay out here with me for a while, Professor?’_

_Standing side by side, they gazed out over the moonlit valley in companionable silence. Byleth felt at peace for the first time in several weeks._

_‘I’m surprised to see you all by yourself. Who could have been foolish enough to leave a beautiful woman like you alone?’_

_‘I was about to ask why you were here alone. This seems far more surprising to me.’_

_Sylvain rubbed the back of his neck. ‘To tell the truth, I was mostly curious about who you might be meeting. I was sure it was a lovers’ tryst, but then I saw you with Fe and Lin! It’s strange but… I’m relieved you’re alone.’_

_A sudden icy gust made her shiver, her thin gown flapping around their ankles. ‘Why is that?’_

_Taking off his jacket, he wrapped it around her slender shoulders. The warmth of his body suffused her through the cloth and Byleth thanked him gratefully. ‘Well, you’re here alone. I’m here alone. It worked out just as I hoped.’ Sylvain gave her a roguish wink. ‘We don’t have to be alone anymore, Professor. You know we make sense together. Marry me.’_

_She rolled her eyes at him, but could not help smiling. ‘No, thank you.’_

_Sylvain sighed and folded his arms behind his head again. ‘It was a ploy to lure you into my arms, but that still hurt, Professor.’ Then he smirked at her playfully. ‘I’m so much more than just a noble with a Crest! I’m handsome, witty, and you know I’d keep you satisfied in bed! Why don’t you want to marry me?!’_

_It was impossible not to laugh at Sylvain’s exaggerated flirtations. ‘Because you can’t be trusted!’_

_‘…I think you really did break my heart this time.’ Sylvain groaned theatrically, then looked at her with a sudden earnestness. ‘I’ll prove myself to you, Professor. I’m going to become a man you can trust. I promise.’_

_Touched by his unexpected sincerity, her mouth curved into a tender smile and Sylvain’s eyes lit up in response._

_‘I know.’_

* * *

// Linhardt //

Linhardt suggested his study (‘No, it’s literally a boudoir,’ Felix said) for their first ever interrogation together.

‘It was evident when His Highness addressed her at the very end. I perceived in your expression that you recognised his true meaning.’ Linhardt’s shrewd gaze was fixed on the green-haired man’s face. ‘You see, I had been waiting for an opportune moment to speak with you. His Highness was extremely helpful to that end. To think he did that without his Crest even triggering!!! What are the true limits of his strength…?’ Linhardt’s mind indulged in violent fantasy for a brief moment.

Felix leaned against the bookcase to Seteth’s right, blocking his path to the door. Not that running would avail much. Inscrutable russet eyes bored into the agitated man’s skull. ‘As long as you pose no threat to Dimitri, or seek to betray the Kingdom, you and your daughter will remain safe.’

‘So Byleth has told you. I suppose there is no use in denying our subterfuge.’

Fraldarius eye-rolls were a language in themselves.

‘Attempt at subterfuge,’ Linhardt resurfaced out of pure need for emphasis. ‘A poor attempt at best. Everyone at the Academy saw through it by the first week.’

Felix’s lip curled in amusement. ‘Everyone who wasn’t a fool like Aegir.’

‘What do you require of me?’ The advisor continually addressed his questions and responses to Felix, whose presence clearly unsettled him.

For good reason, Linhardt concurred. Even relaxing against a bookcase, a taxidermy bird peeking over his shoulder, the younger Fraldarius exuded an air of volatile menace.

‘Information, for now,’ Felix replied. ‘What do you know of the events surrounding Byleth’s birth and Sitri’s death?’

‘Flayn and I never visited the monastery in the years that Captain Jeralt lived there. I only learnt of the circumstances surrounding his departure when I came across the diary in his office. That was after his death. I confronted Rhea with what I read in its pages, but she would tell me nothing…’

‘We know that Rhea intended to resurrect Sothis,’ Felix cut him short. ‘By some method, Rhea was able to insert Sothis’s consciousness into Sitri’s baby. Byleth told me she was able to see and talk to Sothis long before Sothis helped her escape the darkness. We conjecture that Rhea implanted the Crest stone from the Sword of the Creator in Byleth. That is what I need your help clearing up.’

‘I told you, she would not tell me how she accomplished it,’ stammered Seteth. Suddenly he looked at Felix in confusion. ‘I cannot see how… Crest Stones are simply sources of power. That is what I thought…’

‘Fine. I’ll skip the obvious preamble about green hair and the archbishop who never ages. I want to know about your people.’

Seteth made every show of remaining calm, but fear emanated from him in waves. ‘I… Very well.’

‘Who are you? Is Byleth one of your kind now?’

Seteth nodded. ‘Yes. Byleth is a Nabatean, like Flayn and myself… and Rhea.’

‘But why?’ Linhardt interjected. He conjured some crumpled paper and a quill from the mess on his desk and began scribbling notes. ‘Was there a necessity for her body to change, in order for Byleth to house Sothis’s spirit? Or was it a mere side effect? Biological, magical, both? In all cases, why?’

Seteth’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. ‘I suppose it should not surprise me that one as clever and inquisitive as yourself has already reached these avenues of inquiry.’

Linhardt shrugged his shoulders. ‘I have barely scratched the surface with my research…’

‘You, stop showing off. _You_ , keep going,’ Felix said in a testy voice.

‘Byleth is the Goddess Vessel. A vessel… fulfilling the necessary requirements…’ Seteth winced, seemingly at the mercenary nature of his language. ‘Biological factors are intrinsically related, but I am no expert on the topic…’ he tapered off feebly.

Felix considered Seteth’s expression dispassionately before he spoke. ‘Don’t waste my time with third-rate theatre again. The motives of _your_ kind… the actions of _your_ leader made Byleth and her parents suffer. If By is one of you, why do you refuse her answers? Even about who or what she is now? After what was done to her…’

Linhardt did not miss the way Felix’s hands flexed, as if imagining them around Seteth’s throat. The look on Seteth’s face made him think the advisor saw it too.

‘I’m not a stupid martyr like she is. Byleth might not hold you accountable, but she won’t stand in my way. As long as you continue to lie for Rhea, I hold you accountable. And so does our King. You should probably be grateful he is not in this room.’

Seteth’s face turned several shades paler, congruent with Felix’s rising anger. The fingers of his left hand tapped a nervous pattern into the chair arm. ‘I promised to help Byleth find answers. As soon as we rescue Rhea…’

‘Fuck off! You just fed Byleth some bullshit— making her wait for some fucking _tea party_ with Rhea, on the off chance that woman just… _offers_ her a revelation with the fucking biscuits…’

‘Felix, that was poetic brilliance!’ Linhardt jotted the metaphor in the margin of his notes. Ferdinand and Hilda would, no doubt, be thoroughly impressed.

Eventually, Felix reigned in his quick temper. ‘I have no wish to harm you or your daughter. This will be easier if you can accept that I have no interest in using either of you in the way you fear.’ Seteth stared at Felix with a disconcerted expression. ‘Even if Byleth and her family were never given that consideration. I just want answers for my friend. If you feed me more deceit… I will only remind you that Rhea isn’t here to protect you anymore. You and Flayn are, at present, guests of the Kingdom.’

‘I imagine the Knights of Seiros owe allegiance to the Archbishop’s successor now, not her advisor,’added Linhardt. ‘Unless they are loyal to your people as a whole… Byleth has green hair now too, though. How exactly do your internal politics work…?’

‘In either eventuality,’ The corner of Felix’s mouth curved in the way that always triggered Linhardt’s fatalism. ‘I would relish the chance to test my strength against the Knights of Seiros… were they to consider coming to your aid.’

Seteth opened his mouth but no words came out, so he closed it again… then opened it again…

‘The Goddess Sothis used her own blood to create her children. The five primordial Children of the Goddess. They were the first Crest bearers. The civilisation they built was called Nabatea, and the Nabateans existed alongside humankind.’

‘What were their first corporeal forms?’ Linhardt interrupted with eager interest. ‘I theorised that the original Crest bearers were a draconic species, on account of the Relics’ composition… Does that mean the Nabateans were dragons, like the Immaculate One?’

‘Holy shit!’ Felix said, with a mixture of amazement and incredulity. ‘Are you the Immaculate One?!’

Seteth shook his head. ‘I no longer possess the ability to assume that other form. This body is the one I was born in. Our draconic forms are manifested by the power of Crest Stones, which most of us would only employ for battle.’

‘That is why Lady Edelgard attempted to steal the Crest stones in the Holy Tomb,’ said Linhardt. ‘In light of what happened to Miklan Gautier, Professor Hanneman hypothesised that her intent was to create Demonic Beasts. However, Her Majesty implied the stones held greater potential. I mean… the Crest of Fraldarius is certainly powerful, but Felix can easily take at least two Demonic Beasts on his own. Three would be what he considers a decent test of strength, probably.’

Felix nodded with unfeigned gravitas.

‘As with the Heroes’ Relics, only Crest bearers could harness the full transformative power within the stones. In their draconic form, they were considerably stronger than the Demonic Beasts you have faced. The most powerful of all were the Children of the Goddess.’

‘Huh. So not all Nabateans were born with Crests either. It’s only natural that some were stronger, after all.’ Then Felix raised a curious eyebrow. ‘But that means there are others besides the ones who were killed for their Crests. How many…?’

‘Oh, Seteth! Back at the academy, I overheard Felix tell a Demonic Beast to “bring its friends next time”, or something of the like.’ Linhardt chortled gleefully. ‘I forgot how childish he used to be!’

‘…Linhardt. You are going to die.’

Linhardt was oblivious to the ominous vein throbbing in Felix’s temple. ‘Oh, I am at peace with my mortality. On that note - Seteth, are Nabateans immortal? Did you ever meet Sothis or the Children of the Goddess?’

‘Can you stop interrupting me? I was in the middle of asking how many Nabateans there are!’

‘Well, Seteth will answer your question too. We’re having a nice conversation, Felix. Stop shouting.’

Weariness settled over Seteth’s features. It was unclear whether the cause was the pair's bickering or simply being reminded of his age. Finally shifting his gaze to Linhardt, he spoke in halting tones.

‘I have lived for several centuries, yes. I can be killed like any human, but otherwise, I do not know the temporal limit of my existence. To your second question: no. I had not yet been born in the time that the Goddess walked the land.’

When Seteth addressed Felix again, the dolour that descended upon him caught them unawares.

‘Nabatea once spanned all of Fódlan. That… is the best indication I can offer you of our number.’

‘Byleth’s transformation affirmed my belief that the Goddess is truly deathless. In a similar way, the Nabateans held the belief that her children were deathless. They were worshipped by humans and Nabateans alike. The Children of the Goddess ruled over Fódlan for thousands of years.’

Linhardt and Felix found themselves held captive by the mythical nature of Seteth’s account. The ageless man transformed into a storyteller in their eyes. It was as if floodgates released words long repressed. An unshakeable conviction in a secret history that had been deliberately suppressed. An objective reality, which the revised annals of history negated the existence of.

To Seteth, it was _memory_.

* * *

_Dimitri had disappeared, but she could not summon the will to go searching for him. Byleth was not prepared to be alone with him yet. The prospect made her sick with anxiety. He had been behaving strangely that night, and Byleth anticipated some manner of confrontation when they were alone._

_Byleth knew she needed to tell Dimitri about the baby… tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow._

_Jeralt would return tomorrow. He would help her. Her father always knew what to do._

_It would be alright._

_Byleth’s noblest of nobles walked her back to her room, regaling her about the ‘drama’ she missed while she was at the Goddess Tower (‘If you had only seen Seteth’s face when Dorothea…!!!’)._

_Ferdinand waited until she was safely across the threshold before starting to walk away. Laughing helplessly at his energetic waves and yells of ‘Adieu! Sleep well, my dear Professor!’, Byleth shut the door and turned, tottering slightly as she slipped off her heeled dancing shoes._

_Giddy from exhaustion and high spirits, Byleth did not see him waiting for her, seated on the edge of her bed, until he rose to his feet. Recognising his familiar presence, Byleth was not startled. She looked up at his face as he neared her, but the candles were blown out. A sliver of growing daylight from a crack in the curtains fell across his face, illuminating a beautiful blue eye._

_‘Did you have a nice time, Professor?’ Dimitri caressed her cheek, softly brushing over her lips with his thumb._

_‘I did,’ was Byleth’s reflexive answer. It was probably not the one he wanted to hear, but sometimes there was no answer to satisfy him._

_‘I am glad.’ He leaned down and lightly kissed her mouth. ‘You were so beautiful tonight, beloved. I could see nothing but you. The way you moved and smiled and laughed… You looked so happy.’ Her eyes fluttered closed… A slow release of breath as his hands slipped the slim straps from her shoulders. Silk pooled around her hips. ‘I watched you until I couldn’t bear to watch any longer…’_

_Caught somewhere between pleasure and apprehension, a frisson made her shiver as his callused fingers traced the faint ridges of her spine. From the small of her back to the base of her skull… Fingers tangled into her hair, tilting her head backwards. A roughened palm grazed her nipple, the smooth firm curve of her breast. A soft sigh escaped her as his mouth fell hungrily to her throat._

_Then, Dimitri stiffened imperceptibly. Lips lingered over her pulse. His hoarse breathing seemed to grow louder and harsher; thrumming in her ears, distorting into something guttural and jarring._

_‘Why do you do this to me?’ Dimitri’s fist clenched tightly in her hair and she clutched at it, trying to make him loosen his grip._

_‘Dima, that hurts!’_

_That lone eye pierced into her skull, as cold and hard as ice. Steadily darkening with rage, hurt and malice._

_‘Don’t you see how you torment me, Professor? You forced me to watch as so many men laid their hands on your body. How freely you let men take you in their arms! Now you come back wearing the scent of them on your skin. I can smell them on you! It makes me feel sick! Do you behave so wantonly just to torture me?!’_

_She opened her mouth to retort but Dimitri gripped her arms with shaking hands. ‘I saw your face when you were with Ferdinand. You keep assuring me I have nothing to fear from him, and yet you were dancing with him all night! You did not dance with me even once! You barely looked my way. As if I was nothing to you… Is he the one you went to meet when you left me?! I heard him outside even now! I see the way he looks and smiles at you… and how you look and smile back…’_

_Byleth’s dormant anger finally bubbled over. ‘I did nothing to deserve your accusations! You didn’t ask me to dance, Dimitri! You could have asked! Don’t blame me for dancing with someone who actually asked me to. All you made me feel was that I wasn’t the person you wanted to dance with tonight. If the way I smell sickens you, you can leave!’_

_Dimitri’s eye widened instantly with regret and fear. He released his grip on her hair and reached to touch her cheek, but Byleth turned her face away from him, trembling with distress and frustration. In that moment, Byleth was sick of Dimitri. She was utterly drained in both body and mind. Why did he blame and interrogate her, trying to poison every connection she shared with anyone else?_

_Deep down, Dimitri knew there was no one else but him. Yet, his tantrums and cutting words would assault her over and over. As if he was punishing her for his own hurt, which Byleth was constantly trying to assuage._

_Dimitri’s paranoia fed into her own._

_Dimitri’s jealousy occluded her._

_Removing herself from his loosened grasp, she moved towards the bed. Exhaustion had crept up on her so suddenly. Ever since the events at Remire, debilitating tiredness continuously overcame her and Sothis with no rhyme or reason. It was another matter she wanted to talk to Jeralt about._

_Dimitri followed her like a pathetic child. While she unclasped her earrings and placed them on the bedside table, he wound his arms around her naked waist, pulling her back against him._

_‘I will never let him take you from me. Please, Professor… I-I will do better, I promise. Please do not look at him like that anymore.’_

_All vestiges of joy had dissipated. For the second time that night, she felt as if a pit of darkness had opened up at her feet. Threatening to swallow her. A darkness she could not escape. ‘I am not your possession to be taken away from you. You don’t own me.’_

_His arms tightened painfully around her. ‘I will not let you give yourself to anyone else! Tell me what Ferdinand gives you that I do not! Tell me!!!’_

_‘Ferdinand…?’ Byleth murmured, overcome with a terrible emptiness. ‘He has never said anything with the intent to hurt me. I suppose that is what he gives me that you don’t, Dimitri.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always! Comments and kudos are loved and appreciated xx


	29. The Saviour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the undisclosed writings of Saint Cichol, on the protohistoric mythos of Fódlan: tales from the oral folk tradition of Ancient Nabatea.

**_The One Who Perceives the Sounds of the World_ **

_Of the five daughters of Sothis, none were more beloved by the people than Tara._

_Nor were any as cursed by the bequeathal of their Mother’s sacred blood._

_For she alone could navigate the ocean of mortal existence, and so her ears echoed ceaselessly with the lamentations of the world._

_While her sisters were content not to venture beyond the spine of the land, Tara was haunted by the invocations that drifted down from the remote North._

_Disregarding her sisters’ words of caution and dissuasion, Tara crossed the Oghma Mountains on her odyssey to the lonely, icebound apex of the world._

_She cast her gaze from on high, entranced by what lay below._

_The wild, unforgiving terrain gripped her heart with its harsh grandeur; that of a kind unknowable in the verdant lands of the South._

_Yet, as Tara drew nearer to the Land of Snows, that air of sublime beauty transformed into a fey bleakness._

_When her feet touched the frozen Plains of Tailtean, her eyes pierced into an underworld that delved so deep into the earth, she could fathom no end to it._

_In that subterranean chasm, she saw body upon body… crawling, writhing, suffocating… clawing through the choking dirt in their desperate search for the light._

_Her ears filled with their anguish._

_In their wretched ignorance, some were tethered by unfulfilled desires, lingering regrets… but most were shackled to that darkness for fear of nemesis._

_For such beings, transcendence was unattainable._

_They would never perish._

_There would be no escape._

_Then, Tara’s tears fell upon the snow, on the age-old battlefield steeped in blood._

_She descended into the cold abyss; opened her arms to the beings whose misery had invoked her arrival._

_They swarmed her brightness, clung to her, ripped at her… they begged her to stay with them… they begged her to liberate them._

_So, that heavenly deity became their light, guiding their caravans to the halls of her sister, Freyja. She became as the Lodestar for those who had lost their way and wished to find it again._

_But not even a child of the Goddess may linger in those places forever._

_Tara’s light began to fade._

_Despite the terror of the countless souls left behind, her strength failed her and she was spirited away, back to the realm of the living._

_Before she was taken, Tara_ _vowed to answer their pleas for salvation._

_She would not rest until she had shattered the circle of savage tyranny and chaos that held the North captive._

_Tara's fate was bound to the Land of Snows, so to remain until her vow was fulfilled._

* * *

_“The One Who Guards the Crossroads”, “The Divine Huntress”_

_Changi_

_“The One Who Chooses the Slain”_

_Freyja_

_“The One Who Perceives the Sounds of the World”, "The Saviour", "The Mother of Liberation"_

_Tara_

_“The One Who Winds the Thread of Fate”_

_Tyche_

_“The One From Whom There is No Escape”, "The Inevitable Retribution"_

_Adrasteia_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♥ Comments and kudos are loved and appreciated x


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